New Vice Minister of Justice

Mark had to work over today, even though he traded his scheduled overtime to someone else, so we had to rush around to get to Lifebuilders tonight. We didn't even have time to check email before we left. So we were really excited to see a message in our inbox from Kay. Basically the email said that Milena, the attorney from Vesta, had met with the new Vice Minister of Justice who is in charge of adoptions. She felt that this director is even more adoption-friendly than the last, that the new council members have been chosen and that the first meeting of the International Adoption Council (IAC) should be meeting next week. The best news is that Milena has been invited to attend the meeting. Basically, this means that the new governmental officials should cooperate to get our adoption completed.

Every day we race home to check email...Maybe we will get notification of our court date. So even though it wasn't the news we were hoping for, we were glad to hear something. Mark joked around during small group that he might have to live in an apartment for a while if we don't have a court date by our next small group meeting on October 20...Yes, I have been a little irritable during the past couple of weeks. Between the stress of parent/teacher conferences and this waiting...I've been a "tiny bit" grouchy. I might just have to go to Bulgaria, call the MOJ meeting to order, put my hand on the stamper, and help them approve our documents...Deep breath, more praying, deep breath, sigh...It isn't the waiting as much as not knowing what is going on that I find so annoying.

Getting Ready...to Wait

Over the weekend, we traveled to Oxford, Mississippi to watch Blaise run, but the meet was cancelled because of rain. Blaise was so disappointed because this would have been the first time since high school that Adam and Vince would have been able to see him run cross country and probably the last time since this is his last season. Adam arranged to be off work and Vince drove home from Marion, Indiana and met us in Effingham. We made the best of it, though. Blaise joined us since this is his fall break, so we ate at Lambert's Cafe in Sikeston and even stopped in Cairo to see the confluence of the rivers on our way home. It seemed like a mini family vacation. All of the boys were talking and laughing and trying to decide which superpower would be the best one to have. They even sang their own rendition of "Father Abraham" (complete with motions) for inclusion in the family video I am making for Gracie to see when we pick her up. It is hilarious. On our way home we stopped in Effingham to say good-bye, since Blaise and Adam are going to spend the next few days with Vince. I'm sure they are having a ball right now in Indiana.

We also marked another "must have" off our list on the way home. We found a backpack for Gracie! We want to give her something to carry her special things in when we go to the Visa interview and on the flight home. We thought it might make her feel safer. This backpack is a padded bear that is soft enough to use as a pillow, but can hold a book, crayons, pretzels, some little Polly Pocket dolls (Melanie told me these were essential toys for a 4 year old girl.), a sticker book, comb, chap stick, and any other "important" things she might want.

I also just ordered her a pair of slippers that look like a lamb and a little dress from L.L. Bean. Somehow buying a few things for her makes me feel like I am doing something to speed up the process. We are still waiting to hear that we have a court date. In the meantime, check out this cute backpack...

Waiting for a Court Date

On September 16, we got an email from Kay at Tree of Life saying that the Bulgarian agency asked about our dossier and that they are waiting for the signature and consent of the Minister of Justice in Bulgaria. After it is signed, our dossier will be sent to court. After our court date is set, we will be able to officially start the countdown. Seven days after court, if all of the documents are in order, the Bulgarian governments approval of our adoption will be final. Usually it takes 6-8 weeks after the court date to complete the remainder of the paperwork (get a new birth certificate, set up an embassy interview, arrange travel) and travel to bring her home. The way I understand it, since we are under the I-600 petition with the Department of Homeland Security, we will apply for Gracie's visa after her embassy interview. Then we will wait in Bulgaria while the visa and passport are processed. That is why our second trip will probably last 7-10 days.

The past few weeks have been busy, which helps the time to pass more quickly. This week, midterms were due as well as benchmark exam results, parent-teacher conferences have started, Mark is still working a couple of twelve hour days every week and one day each weekend, my class goes on a field trip this week, I am observed and evaluated by Mr. T. this week, and we have been trying to catch up on the yard work and getting Gracie's room set up. Our garden is also overflowing with tomatoes and I have been canning apple sauce and salsa. I won't have to worry about being bored...

On Friday night, we went to the premier of The Informant!, a dark comedy that was filmed in Decatur about ADM's price-fixing scandal complements of Donna, my coworker. We had a great time looking for all of the Decatur locations and spending time with the other teachers from school and their spouses. After the movie we all went to the Bizzou, a restaurant downtown for supper, too. It was so nice getting together with the teachers outside of school.

I find myself frequently wondering what time it is in Bulgaria and imagining what Gracie might be doing. During church today, she would have been eating supper...I really don't think that anyone is talking to her about her new family or the adoption. The concept of family has to be foreign to her. I wonder also if her best friend, Emanwewe, has been adopted yet. Usually domestic adoptions are expedited, so Grace may have watched her best friend leave the orphanage with her parents and not return. Maybe this will help her to be prepared. I do hope that she is healthy and doesn't think that we have abandoned her. God, please prepare her heart for joining our family and help us to get a court date soon.

Shopping

Shopping has never been my favorite pasttime, but I enjoyed looking at girlie things this weekend. We took the tape measure on our shopping trip and what we realized is that Gracie is going to be really hard to fit...definitely she will need slims. Now I understand why some of her dresses were so short during our visit. We don't know how up-to-date her weight report was, but 23 pounds isn't very much for a 4 1/2 year old. According to the weight on the size charts, she should be a 2T, but her waist to floor measurement of 19 inches means that most 2T long pants will be capris! We also measured the waists on the 2T and 3T pants and most of them were about 20 inches. When I measured her waist on our visit, it was 18 1/2 inches. Either I will be adding elastic to the waists of everything, she will need a belt (which we bought today), or she will be wearing a lot of dresses and tights.

Buying just a few things really increased my anticipation. I can't wait to bring Gracie home. Since Mark has been working so many weekends, we made a list of things to do before she gets here and are trying to make sure that we have everything ready in time. I guess we are "nesting." On his last weekend off, we cleaned the garage and "dejunked" so we have more room for storage; this weekend we shopped for a mattress, headboard, dresses (for picking her up and the embassy appointment), and shoes. I took the little paper cut-outs of her footprint for shoe shopping and she will need either a size 7 or 8!  She has long skinny feet like her daddy.

It is good that we started looking early, because we didn't buy anything except some little cotton tank tops, a set of three tiny little belts (that Mark will have to shorten), and one pair of pajamas. We did choose a mattress to buy that we will order next week, but there were just too many cute little dresses that we couldn't decide on any of them. I also went through all of the donated clothes and organized them by size so I know what we will need, sort of. Hmmmm...it has been a long time since I have had a toddler around. What will we need to take with us for 8 days in Bulgaria with a 4-year-old? We may have to take her shopping and check an extra bag for the return trip. I wonder what she would think of the mall...

Good News/Bad News

The good news: We got an email from Kay at our agency and she said that we don't have to worry about getting Gracie home before her birthday. In fact, she contacted Jane (our 3rd social worker) to clarify the regulations. We also found out that our documents have been sent to the Ministry of Justice (MOJ) and we should be given a court date within 20 to 30 days! Then, according to Bulgarian law, Gracie will be ours 7 days after court. We just can't pick her up until the US government sets up the Embassy physical and interview and we get the visa and passport. Usually parents travel within 6 to 8 weeks of the court date. Her age shouldn't matter because they expect her to be home before the end of the year anyway. We are still hoping for November!

The bad news: We got the final documents for post placement, fees, etc. and a copy of the 17C. Well, they did correct the spelling of our name in most of the 17C document, but not all of it.  And, another document that was translated from the Ministry of Justice, The Certificate, has our name spelled wrong on it, too. Somehow, the translator thinks it is Duhnam...I sent off another email to Daniel about the errors...We can see from following our FedEx account that TOL, our agency, just FedExed some documents to Bulgaria this week ($45) and my guess is that they will have to be redone and re-sent. Please pray that it can be fixed swiftly and does not delay our court date.  I really don't want to get to the Embassy appointment and have all of the documents denied because they don't have our names spelled correctly on them!

When Will She Be 5?

I got an email from the social worker with our home study agency asking for an update, so I told her about our visit and our current status of "waiting." She was happy to hear about our progress and was anxious to help us get the US paperwork in order. She also said that if we were not positive that Gracie would have her Bulgarian visa before her 5th birthday in January, that we would need to update the home study document (complete with another home visit since she is not the social worker from our previous home study), send it for DCFS approval, and then get a new updated I-171h from the Department of Homeland Security which can take weeks or months. This just didn't make sense to me since our home study approves us for a child age 0-5 years, and Gracie turns 5 in January. I thought that she would be 5 years old until she turns 6 in 2011. Well, today she replied that, although it makes perfect sense that she will continue to be 5 until her 6th birthday, apparently most countries don't look at it this way. I guess on her birthday, she actually will start being older than 5! So now...we are waiting for more information from our Bulgarian agency to find out if we need to update our home study for ages 0-6 just to be certain that we don't have another delay. We really want to get Gracie home quickly, and we really don't want to pay for a home study update and struggle with the Department of Homeland Security again. (DHS is the office that denied our home study after we waitied 3 months saying we were missing some documents and then called a month later to say that they had made a mistake.) Usually the wait between the first and second trips is 2-5 months. We know that God's timing is perfect, but please be praying that His timing is also swift!

One Month and Waiting

Everything went as planned and the new physicals are notarized and apostilled. I checked them over carefully before walking out of the Index Department in Springfield. We also got an email from TOL assuring us that the 17c had been corrected and explaining that misspelling is a problem when documents are translated in Bulgaria. We are supposed to be receiving a "Placement Agreement" that is needed to meet Hague requirements soon which should be the next step and sometime we have to submit the I-600 to DCFS and the Department of Homeland Security in the US...we just don't know whether that happens before or after court. I hope Daniel and Kay (coordinators with our agency) aren't easily annoyed with all of our questions...I sent another email today to find out what happens next.

It has been a month now and I can't remember what it feels like to pick Gracie up. I keep watching the videos and looking at the pictures, but she seems really far away. This trip really changed my perspective. Before we went to Bulgaria, I was really worried about her health, but it is funny how watching her run with her elbows out and climb up the slide changed how I feel. Now I wonder how she will transition...I imagine that she will be excited for a few weeks like I feel when I go on vacation...everything will be new, interesting and distracting. Hotels, restaurants, the grocery store, taxi rides, two airplanes, toys, a new home, family...but after a while she will probably just want to go back "home" to the familiarity of the orphanage. She has been blessed to be in one place (besides the hospital) since she was 8 months old...She knows the children, the "aunties," her bed, the food, sounds, and daily schedule. Everyday has been like every other for her. The orphanage is her home. I'm sure she will long for her little bed, the sound of her best friend, Emanwewe, speaking a language she understands, the playground, and the comfort of knowing from experience that her needs will be met. I can't even imagine how hard it will be for her to suddenly be thrust into a world where no one understands her simplest wishes. She is too young to grasp the long term benefits of adoption and all she will know is the immediate reality of being powerlessly swept away by strangers.

I hope someone is explaining "family" to her and looking at the picture album that we left. Maybe she will grow to "know" us by seeing our faces with hers. Hopefully, since Emanwewe is being adopted by her Bulgarian parents, Gracie will come to understand that she will be leaving with her mommy and daddy, too. I pray that God is preparing her heart to join our family and taking away her fears during this time.

I hated the idea of taking two trips during the Bulgarian adoption process, but now I think it actually has given us time we all needed. Time to really consider Gracie as a person, instead of just a vague idea. Time to prepare for a huge life change. Time to appreciate the tremendous gift we are being given. Thank you God for always being right on time.

Paperwork Woes

On August 18, Mark and I got our physicals redone, so that there wouldn't be any chance that they would be beyond the 6 month expiration when they go to court. Getting these processed is an ordeal. First, we both had physicals (the fourth ones in 2 years), then notarized the signatures at the bank, then drove them to Springfield to the index department for an apostille. Well, when I copied the documents to express mail to Tree of Life, I noticed that the apostille numbers on the two documents were identical...which means they are wrong. So, I called Springfield and found out that if they take the stapled apostille pages off the documents and correct them, the staple holes in the documents could cause officials in Bulgaria to doubt their authenticity. Terrific. We have to redo the physical forms. So, when my students are in PE at 10:00, I will pick up the new letters from the physician's office. During lunch from 11:00-11:30, I will have the documents notarized. Then I will fax a copy of the documents to Springfield so they can begin processing the apostilles. After school, I will drive to Springfield to have documents processed, and hopefully arrive before they close at 4:30. Then, if they are right, I will express mail them to Oregon tomorrow.

Then when I checked my email I found a new document from Tree of Life, a 17c, had arrived in my inbox! The next step is underway, but the notarized document from the agency has our name spelled wrong again. Somehow, either in Oregon or Bulgaria, they think our last name is Duhnam. It was incorrect 8 times. I hope that this can be easily fixed and that it won't hold up the process in court.

I know everything will work out...I just want it to work out FASTER!

Sick

It has taken a long time to update the blog because I have been sick and Mark is a hunt and peck typist. I think I had a sinus infection and according to the nurse a gall-bladder attack...but who knows what was in some of our food this week. The flight home was miserably long, especially when you don't feel very well. It was so nice being picked up at the airport (thank you Tom) and being on the ground. My sisters were amazing to have dinner waiting for us and Mark was an ironman driving home with just a Mountain Dew to keep him awake. I have only been awake for about 6 hours in the last two days and finally ate some broth and crackers without feeling horrible. Yes, I called the doctor and will be in there tomorrow if I am not feeling much better when the antibiotics are finished.

Rila Monastery and Boyana Church

Our driver, Calem, picked us up to take us to a monastery in the Rila mountains that is about 90 km from Sofia on Saturday since we were not allowed any more visits. We thought this was a good opportunity to learn a little bit more about our daughter's heritage. The drive took us through winding roads and small villages. We noticed that crops were grown in patches about the size of our house, homes all had vineyard trellises covering their small yards, car lots existed in the middle of nowhere, and horse drawn wagons and modern farm machinery were all part of the landscape. Bulgarians take pride in making their own rakia, wine or brandy, which is why vineyards were everywhere (we even noticed a grape trellis at the orphanage.)

The drive to the mountains was beautiful once we got out of the traffic jam of the city. The Rila Monastery, where we were visiting, was established in the 10th century by St. Ivan of Rila (Sveti Ivan Rilski) and is a source of national pride as it has endured fires and Ottoman oppression. The Rila Monks are credited with preserving the Bulgarian language and history. The Church of the Nativity is the central building and the frescos and gold covered wood carvings of the interior are unbelievable. Since photos were not allowed inside the church, check out this website to see the interior. http://www.rilamonastery.pmg-blg.com/Gallery_church_en.htm Another point to note is that our daughter's orphanage name, as listed in the documents, is St. Ivan Rilski children's home, so the orphanage was named after the Orthodox saint who established this monastery.

After leaving the monastery, we stopped at a roadside restaurant and ate on an open umbrella-covered patio. The fresh trout lunch was caught in the mountains and despite having the head and tail attached, was very tasty. The owner, a native Bulgarian, chatted with us and was very interested in where we were from since he had lived in Chicago for several years.

When we returned to Sofia, our guide took us to another national treasure that recently opened to the public, Boyana Church. According to our guide, who was an Art teacher for three years, Bulgaria was under Turkish oppression during the Renaissance, so they did not actually experience the Renaissance in Bulgaria. However, discovery of this church shows that local Bulgarian artists in the 11th century demonstrated artistic styles of detailed portraits prior to the emergence of this form of art in other areas. Basically, he believes that the Renaissance period actually began in Bulgaria. Our guide was very proud of this church and its meaning to the country.

The Rila courtyard

One of the frescos.

The Church of the Nativity.

Fresh trout for lunch.

Boyana Church

Photos from our Last Visit

"Tova e tvoe." (This is yours.)

"Ne, ne" (No, no)

Let's play in the sand.

Okay, mommy and daddy will play, too.

Her first driving lesson...just wait till she is 16!

Hmmm, so what do I do with this?

Do you want to swing? (Right before the swing hit her in the face.)

The dolly is in the red bucket.

Doll-no, book-yes

Today was our last orphanage visit and we spent both the morning and afternoon at the orphanage without a translator. Gracie came right to us this morning gave us hugs and took my hand. We played for a few minutes before the other children came outside. She was fascinated by the workmen who were putting in the new stones for part of the playground and kept wanting to go up and help them...They were filling wheelbarrows with sand and laying down square stones. In fact she had Mark retrieve a broken doll stroller from the roof of a shelter, filled it with balls and imitated them.

When we gave her the present, her doll, first thing this morning she just looked at it and said, "ne." She was totally uninterested in a doll. She did love being tickled and rode her tricycle around a lot. The "aunties" also had all of the children sitting together singing songs today and when she was paying attention to the "aunties" instead of the workers she smiled and sang several songs. The children went in early so we had a little bit of time alone before lunch. We got the doll out again and she put her in the swing and was pushing her. She pushed really hard and the swing came back and hit her in the face. She just screamed and big tears streamed down her face. Mark carried her inside and she stopped crying by the time we got her to lunch. Poor thing.

At noon today, we were picked up to go to the notary office which looked like a scary crack house on the outside with graffiti on the door and walls, but was actually a nice office inside. There we signed official papers changing her name to Grace Janette Daniela Dunham and giving the agency, VESTA, power of attorney for our petition. We also got an actual film from her chest x-ray to bring home with us. Then we ate Bulgarian pizza with amazing cheese and caught a cab to the apartment for a nap.

This afternoon, we really saw her interact with some of the children and learned some new things about her. She has a favorite red bucket and yellow shovel that she carries around and holds, even when she isn't near the sand. They seem to be her security toys. Today we watched her pick up other items and "trade" with the other children until she got "her" things. She also runs to get the blue car or the broken tricycle everyday. Today, the tricycle was gone so she was in the car. When one of her friends on the tricycle came near, she said the girl's name and "negotiated" a trade. They both jumped up and ran to the other vehicle. She also had an extra bucket and shovel that she took to another child on the playground. Later, she got out the broken doll stroller and filled it with balls. One of the "aunties" said something about a kukla (doll) and we told her that Gracie didn't want hers. After talking to the "auntie," Gracie went with me to get the doll and put her in the red bucket in the broken stroller. She pushed her around, but didn't want to touch her. The "aunties" took the children inside early so we had about 30 minutes alone with her on the playground. I think they did this just for us since it was our last day. She decided she liked the photo album today and identified people in the book. I told her it was hers in Bulgarian and she liked that. She carried it back in for supper, but didn't want the doll. We gave it to the "aunties" anyway. Maybe she will want the doll when she goes to bed. If we had only known we would have bought her a new bucket and shovel! As we were leaving, she smiled and gave us both kisses. She always says that she will see us tomorrow, but the "auntie" today said something about an airplane (semolet). She smiled really big, but I am sure that she really didn't understand. I really tried not to cry, but Gracie didn't seem to notice anyway.

Tonight the coordinator arranged for us to have supper with a single mom and her parents from Sweden who leave for home tomorrow from their first adoption trip. She is adopting a 7 year old boy. They speak some English so we could communicate. We both hope to be back in November for the second trip. We enjoyed Shopka salad, homemade sausage and grilled chicken and vegetables on a skewer. Flat bread and ice cream finished off the meal. Yummy.

When I got home I realized that all of my papers for my class were due today instead of on Sunday like I thought. Ooops! I just finished them (definitely not my best work) and turned them in. I am completely done with my classes! I need to go to bed now because we are visiting Rila Monastery tomorrow. I'll add photos tomorrow.

Day Four

Today Mark and I both slept until the alarm rang, which means we were both really tired. Mark spent much of the morning trying to decide whether he was going to need the antibiotic the doctor sent "just in case" but he has felt better as the day progressed. This morning Gracie wanted to play with her friends for much of the morning, but she would come back to check on us periodically and would look over to see if we were watching her. It was hilarious watching her playing with her friends, who picked her up and treated her like a little rag doll part of the time. She kept saying mama and tatko to her friends and the "aunties" and looking over at us. We decided to give her some space and sat to the side of the playground a little more today. Anytime any of the other kids would come over to use, she would come over and let them know that we were her mama and tatko. Four of her friends joined her on a large flat swing next to us and were giggling and acting silly. Rose said they were trying to "talk" with English words and were making up funny sounds.

For lunch, we decided to see if Bulgarian fast food is the same as US fast food. It's not. We ordered from KFC by pointing and nodding. Mark's chicken sandwich had a fried onion slab on it and the french fries were without salt. My pieces of chicken were actually three tiny hot wings. Oh, well. Mark's Pepsi Light (Diet Pepsi) came in a bottle, but my Pepsi was in a glass with ice. I felt daring and drank it anyway. So far, so good.

Petko took us this afternoon and left us to play with Gracie alone. She came right to me from her snack and took my hand. For the first time this week, the children in Gracie's play group spent the afternoon playing outside so we had a lot of competition for her attention this afternoon, too. Gracie did play for about 30 minutes alone with both of us in the sandbox and we both helped her get around on a little tricycle. She can pedal if it is really smooth, but much of the playground is bumpy, so she likes to push herself with her feet on the ground. We also made a second foam photo frame to bring home with us, and we couldn't get the backs off of the stickers fast enough to suit her. Then she took the picture to show to the "aunties" and all of her friends. She found our small Bulgarian phrasebook and took it to show to her best friend, Emanwewa, too. They loved flipping the pages and looking at the fold-out map of Sofia. I think she liked that the book was so tiny. Gracie smiled all afternoon.

For supper tonight we had banitsa, which is a typical Bulgarian dish we baked in the apartment that is a kind of rolled filo pastry stuffed with cheese and spinach filling. It was great, and Mark's stomach is back to normal. I am doing a load of laundry in the combination washer and dryer. Hmmm...Why do they have this technology in Bulgaria, but I haven't seen one in the US?

I'm happy today! See my photo project.

A Better Day

Today was sooooo much better! I told Rose that I was worried that Gracie thought that she was her mother, and she assured us that it is normal for the child to bond with the interpreter. I think she realized why I was concerned though, when Gracie called her mom several times and did not want to come to us at all this morning. So, she told Gracie that she was going to the bathroom and gave us about an hour while she waited around the corner and out of Gracie's view. After a little while, Gracie played with Mark in the sand, played "Kade Mama?" which is our version of "Where's mommy?" She unwrapped and played with the stacking/nesting boxes and looked at the photo album with us. She loved dumping out all of the boxes and trying to get them all back into the box. She was not interested at all in making a tower. She didn't seem to recognize herself in the photo album, but she kissed the little girl and smiled everytime she saw her. She kept pointing out "botko" which is the Bulgarian word for "big brother" and grandpa will be happy to know that she called him "botko" too! She was also thrilled with the "salt sticks." She kept saying that she wanted them on previous days, but the translator told us "sour sticks" and we thought they were Twizzlers from her description. By accident we brought the right thing and Gracie was very happy. We took our orphanage gifts today, but the director and assistant director were both gone, so we will take theirs on Friday. Right before we left at noon, Gracie said that she loved Rose and mama! That is improvement. When we walked her back in to the orphanage, the workers stripped her down and immediately put her into a huge sink for a bath before lunch. You may have noticed that she has on two different outfits everyday. She loves dirt and sand...a true gardener/farmer at heart.

Between 12 and 3:30, we took a taxi to the historic district with map in hand and saw St. Alexander Nevski's Memorial Church, the National Library, St. Sofia Church and Bulgaria's Parliament. We ate a great gyro that had cucumbers and french fries in it, bought flowers from the "flower lady" outside of Nevski Church and browsed the crafts and artisan displays. Our taxi driver for the return trip apparently is not the government taxi with a special tag, so the taxi ride downtown cost 4 lev and the ride home cost 20 lev. Yes, we really got ripped off. The driver kept saying he didn't know where we wanted to go and we had to show him on the map. We were just glad to get home.

This afternoon, Rose also gave us more space. When Rose was there, Gracie hugged and kissed her and wanted to sit on her lap, but as soon as she left, Gracie was fine. She spent more time with Mark, playing in the sand and retrieving digging toys from the shelter roof. She looked at the book again and called herself by name, as well as bratko, mama, tate (daddy), baba (grandma) and diado (grandpa). Everybody else is just family since she doesn't have the vocabulary to understand aunt, uncle, or cousin. We also helped her decorate a foam picture frame with sparkly foam stickers which holds a picture of the 3 of us. The workers said they will post this by her bed.

While we were playing with the nesting boxes, she pointed out katca (cat) and kuche (dog). When I told her monkey and turtle, she repeated them in English, too. She also sang a little bit today, but we couldn't tell the song, so we sang "The Wheels on the Bus" while she was swinging (lula) and she tried to sing a few words, too.

When we were leaving she told one of her "aunties" that she had a mommy and daddy. The "auntie" said that she used to ask her all the time when she was going to get a mommy and daddy. She told Gracie that she was a lucky girl. I think we are the lucky ones.

We walked back to the mall for more water and "salt sticks," ate at the Bulgarian restaurant and changed some money. I feel so much better after today. I thanked Rose several times for giving us more private time today. We made progress.



My boxes are great!

Alexander Nevski Church

Inside the church...I took it after watching someone else take a picture and didn't know it was against the rules, so we bought a book of photos, too.

St. Synod

Yummy salt sticks.

Today gets mixed reviews...

After having such a wonderful day yesterday, today did not go very well. When we arrived, Gracie seemed tired and totally disinterested in us. We thought she was getting sick, but she kept yawning, so we think that we just wore her out yesterday. The orphanage has scheduled our visits outside with her all the time, but they really don't want us to interact with the other children because it disrupts the routine. All the children want to hug us and talk to us. Gracie didn't want to play with us at all. She wanted to play with her friends (who are all out with their group at the same time we are there) or by herself. She talked to Rose some and we pushed her on the swing, but that was it. Her best friend loved the playdoh and punched out paper dolls, but Gracie did not. She did like being measured and played with the measuring tape for awhile, but she didn't want playdoh, crayons, the beachball, a book, cookies or even the water today. She ignored us (and she isn't a teenager, yet!)

Well, this afternoon was better because the other kids were inside, and she started bonding. She was cuddly, gave a lot of kisses and wanted to be held...just not by us. She spent most of the afternoon interacting with the translator, Rose. She is young, cute, fun and speaks Bulgarian so she has a lot of advantages over us. Rose held her a lot and Gracie kept asking to sit on her lap and taking Rose toys to play with. We could see Gracie's sweet personality, but it was disappointing, too, because Rose will be there everyday for the rest of the week. Gracie patted her face and just loved on her. She is a really sweet little girl. She really loves to play in the sand, too. She fills the bucket and dumps in out over and over. We have been told that a child can only bond with one person at a time, and so we may not really get much of a chance for bonding until we pick her up on the next trip.

We tried taking new activities for her today, and we went to a toy store and bought her stacking/nesting boxes for tomorrow. She really liked putting the crayons in the box and dumping them out, so we are hoping she will like them. We also found out that the orphanage director is not coming in at all this week, so we won't get to meet her. The paperwork for the adoption had our name spelled wrong on it and was for the wrong US immigration petition, too. The good news is that we are grandfathered under the old paperwork which usually moves faster and it should still all be ready to sign while we are here. This is good news.

We got some photos developed today of Gracie with us to add to her photo album, rode the train downtown, walked around the city historical district and went to the City Center Mall. My feet are tired.

An Exciting First Day!

Our afternoon was just as exciting as our morning. When we walked in, Gracie ran to Gail and told her that she slept well. We then went back outside to the playground and spent the afternoon there. She had fun throwing and kicking a beachball that we brought and soon she discovered the game of "fetch" where she would kick the ball into the weeds and Gail or I had to retrieve it. Then we got out some crayons and she colored for a little while. I think she had more fun dumping them out of the box and putting them back in than she actually did coloring. The afternoon went quickly and she gave us both hugs and kisses and told us that we had to come back tomorrow and bring more cookies. (She really liked the little Lorna Doone cookies.) Although she is only four, she told us that she was five and later changed it to six. We know she can count to six! It was a wonderful first day with her and we are looking forward what tomorrow will bring.

For dinner we walked to a Chinese restaurant a couple of blocks away. The food was excellent and we brought the rest back to the apartment. Also Petko brought Gail's lost luggage to her today and he set us up with a cell phone to use. Hurray!

She is wonderful!

We were picked up at 9:00 today by Petko and Rose (pronounced Rosie). When we arrived at the orphanage, we met with the assistant director who has had primary care of Gracie since she was 8 months old. She reviewed all of the medical information including the fact that she doesn't think that the doctor will continue her daily Singulair meds because she is doing so well. We found out that all of the directors are physicians in the baby houses and that she is due to be moved to a new orphanage for ages 4-7, but will stay here until we complete her adoption. She also had a urinalysis last week and all results were completely normal. Yeah!

During our visit, they brough Gracie in and she started jumping around and acting silly. Then she settled down and came over to see us. She sat on my lap and Mark's and she really does only weigh 21 pounds. She is a feather. They had her dressed up in this little sundress and hat and little pink shoes (obuvki) that she kept showing us. They had told her that she was going to meet someone special, but she called us mama and tatko (daddy) immediately. A little later we went outdoors and they separated us from her playgroup because all of the kids were crowding around and trying to get our attention. Every child was adorable and it just broke my heart. Gracie, who they call Dani (prounouced Donnie), kept telling the other kids that Tatko was pushing the swing and mommy gave her water...She is active, walks and runs well, and talks constantly. Even though she is one of the oldest kids, she is also the smallest.

She loved the bubbles, but she wanted to hold the bottle and the wand herself and kept putting her lips up to the wand when she would blow. She had bubble soap all over her face. She loves to swing and moved from one to the other where she would sit for 5 0r 10 minutes at a time. She tried to ride a little tricycle but the peddles were broken and she had to push it with her feet. Her knee is all scabbed up and when I asked her, "Boli li te?" (Does it hurt?), she shook her head "no" which means "yes." It really throws me off when people here shake their heads the opposite way.

When the other kids went in for lunch, she asked if she could go for a ride in the car. Finally, she went in for lunch, gave us all hugs and kisses, and we left. We get to go back from 4:30-6:00 today and will have the same schedule for Tuesday through Friday. We need to get more activities to take with us. She is a busy little girl.

We went to a large mall for lunch (mostly international stores) and had shopka salad, sausage, peppers stuffed with cheese and tomatoes, and a creamed chicken and potato stew which were all typical Bulgarian dishes. I could definitely adapt to Bulgarian food. It was delicious. Well, Mark is napping and I should, too...jetlag...Enjoy a few photos from today!

Here is our first photo together!

Tatko and Gracie

Bubbles taste bad.

This is her bed.

We're here!

We are in Bulgaria. I can't believe we will meet Gracie tomorrow! The theme of the trip is flexibility...Since we planned to embrace every aspect of the trip as just another part of the adventure, we are smiling and creating an awesome story.

The flights went great and we had no problem at all with London Heathrow or our connections. In fact we had just enough time to go through security, stop at the restroom and board the bus to the plane to Sofia. Nearly went straight from one plane to the next. We met a great lady on the flight from London to Sofia who helped us with some of our limited language attempts, too. She had been a midwife in Bulgaria and had worked with several of the orphanages. She cried when she found out that we were adopting and just kept telling us how wonderful that it was.

When we landed, we waited and waited for our luggage...It is hard to miss purple bags with bright pink TSA locks. But there was another family from the US who had the exact same luggage. Well eventually, we were the only two families waiting at the luggage carousel. Both of us are missing a purple checked bag. It was mine, wouldn't you know.

We prepared for this, so I had two shirts and two pairs of pants in Mark's bag. I don't really think anyone will care that I have on brown shoes with my black pants...I really would have liked to have had my curling iron, but Mark and I walked around for a couple of hours and pointed, smiled and grunted at a few Bulgarian shop owners until we bought some pink plastic rollers to use with a hair dryer. I think mom used to put those pink rollers in my hair when I was 5...LOL

Well, our driver took us to the "supermarket," I use that word loosely, since the whole store was about the size of our garage so we could buy food. Well we got some kind of cheese with a sheep on the label (nasty), some fruit, breakfast cereal and lots of bottled water. Of course, as soon as we got to the apartment, I brushed my teeth with the sink water. Oops! I hope I don't need that antibiotic tomorrow, but at least it was in Mark's bag.

The apartment is amazing. We have two bedrooms, one with working air-conditioning and twin beds. The air in the one with the queen bed and the naked lady artwork isn't working. I wouldn't let Mark go in there anyway... We have a kitchen, dining area, living area and bath with a jetted tub on the 6th (top) floor of an apartment building. Oh, and by the way, today is our 12th wedding anniversary. Happy anniversary, Mark!

You'll see from the photos that the outside and corridors of this building are a complete contrast to the inside. We saw this as we were driving through Sofia, too. Lots of beautiful mountains and new construction next to run down apartment buildings and store fronts. We found a park that we think was built during the communist era with crumbling walkways and statues and a gorgeous fountain. We also bought two snacks at a little shop, and for anyone who has seen our precious video of Gracie, she ate these same pretzels and fed the cheese curls to the birds. We are snacking on these right now!

Tomorrow, Petko will pick us up at 9:00 a.m. to take us to the orphanage. He expects we will stay until about 11:30, leave while the children nap, and return around 3:30 for a couple more hours. He said we will probably do this Monday through Friday! We get lots of time with our little girl. Now, we need sleep. More tomorrow.

I think it is going to be HOT!

I just checked the weather on the sidebar widget (scroll down to view it) and after two weeks of beautiful temperatures in the 80's in Sofia, the forecast for Sunday, when we arrive, has a predicted high temperature of 102 degrees. Since they don't have air conditioning in most of the buildings in Bulgaria, it is no wonder that offices close until mid-September. At least Monday looks to be back to normal.

Packing

I have been working on our packing list...Here is what I know so far:

• documents: passports, apostilled documents, driver's license, credit cards, insurance cards, traveler's insurance information, ATM cards, tickets, itinerary, copies of all of the credit cards and information to keep as a backup
• gifts: clutch purses and body lotion, gift bags, tissue paper, an emergency flashlight,, a shawl/scarf, candy for kids
• electronics: travel alarm, laptop, flash drive, power strip, converter plug, a blank CD, camera, battery charger for camera, video camera, extra memory card, cords for video cam/computer, extra batteries (packaged separately to meet airline requirements), mini tripod, hair dryer, curling iron
• toiletries: shampoo/conditioner, hairspray, deodorant, body lotion, toothbrushes, toothpaste, shaving cream, razor, after shave, face wash, face cream, Q-tips, eye drops, contact solution, makeup, brush, shower gel, emery board
• medicine: Cipro (prescription), Immodium AD, bandaids, anti-bacterial lotion, bug towelettes, ibuprofen, alka-seltzer, inhaler, allergy medicine, sunscreen
• extra contacts, glasses, sunglasses
• Bulgarian travel guide and phrase book
• laundry soap tablets, 2 plastic hangars, roll of bubble wrap
• Things for Gracie: The doll, crayons, coloring book, bubbles, lacing cards, photo frame craft, beach ball, photo album, book
• Clothes for Gail: tennis shoes, black shoes, brown sandals, socks, underwear, belt, pajamas, 8 shirts (I tried for fewer, but...), 3 pairs of pants, 3 pairs of capris, black sweater, light weight jacket, jewelry pouch (cheap stuff only)
• Clothes for Mark: Mostly long pants, short-sleeved, wrinkle-free dress shirts and polo shirts.
• 2 money belts, 2 luggage locks (TSA approved)
• breath strips, gum, mints
• purse and/or bag
• book for me, sudoku for Mark
• pen and small notebook
• crisp new $20, $50, and $100's

Now the key is to get all of this to fit into two carry-ons and 2 checked bags, with all of it divided up so that we can survive a couple of days if our luggage is lost. British Airways says the free checked bags must be under 51 pounds and 90 cm x 75 cm x 43 cm. We also get a carry on bag that is less than 56 cm x 45 cm x 25 cm.
I want to pack it up now, but I have to finish 4 assignments for my class before I leave and submit my action research project to my principal for approval. Deadlines have a way of really getting me focused...back to work...

What if?

I spent about eight hours looking up medical terms on the Internet last night and today as I studied the newest medical report on Gracie. Between the medical jargon and the translation from Bulgarian, it is difficult to truly know the state of her health right now. Some concerns we had seen in previous reports, but a lot of the details were new. I discovered that her verbal skills have improved by 12 months in the last 9 months, but she isn't growing very well...one centimeter and .7 kg in 9 months. This could be the result of poor nutrition, parasites, kidney or lung problems, but we just don't know. I did find out that she had hernia surgery in January, attends a "class" with other children over age 3, plays well with the other children, and knows and can show her age.

Some of the diagnoses and test results are frightening because I don't know what the results are supposed to be, so Mark and I considered paying $400 for a medical record review by this well-known international adoption specialist. Then I had to ask that really important question...Would the opinion of a specialist make us change our minds about adopting Gracie? Was there any good reason to spend the $400?

Considering this brought back difficult emotions from about 20 years ago. After a series of tests, I was told that 2-year-old Vince was speech aphasic, would never say two syllables back to back, and would not attend traditional school with his twin brother. I remember looking at his sweet, little angel face and curly hair and mourning the loss of my expectations for him and for me. I knew I would probably never hear my son say, "I love you, Mommy!" I cried a lot, but I didn't feel regret that he was my child, not ever, not for one second did I think that he was less valuable or less my son because of a diagnosis from some specialist or limitations on his abilities. In that sadness, I remember this overwhelming feeling of motherly responsibility...Vince was really going to need me to be there for him. I had to be his protector and advocate. He would need for me to love him exactly as he was, without disappointment or regret.

After pouring over that medical form, I feel like I am being asked to do the same thing again, however this time it is with a child I have never met. Mark and I knew when we started this journey that our child might have health problems or limitations just from being an orphan and living in an orphanage. In fact, we had to take classes and study institutional delays before we were approved to adopt. But it is easy to discuss hypothetical situations and difficult to truly know how you will feel if you face this situation. It is sort of like discussing your opinions about divorce when you are in a good marriage. It is impossible to predict how you will actually feel or react in a situation until you are actually facing it. The mystery of this newest medical report has forced us to decide how we will respond to potential "bad news." What if her lungs don't recover? Would a medical condition, even one that would significantly shorten her life, make us change our minds about bringing her home? Could we cope with the worst case scenarios?

We tearfully agreed that it doesn't matter to us what we find out next week in Bulgaria or from the doctors when we get her home. It just doesn't matter. We know that God chose Gracie for us, and He doesn't make mistakes! Every child deserves a family and if Gracie is sick, she will need our love and care even more than if she is healthy. We put the medical report away and watched the sweet video of our little girl on the other side of the world.

*******

As Vince said, "I love you, Mom" and left for the ballgame tonight, I had to smile. I know God still does miracles.

"For I know the plans I have for you, " declares the Lord," plans to prosper you and

not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." Jeremiah 29: 11

Travel Dates!

I just got an email confirming that we will arrive in Sofia, Bulgaria on July 26! We leave in 12 days and should meet Gracie in less than 2 weeks.

So, I just talked to our coordinator and the travel agent about our flights during this peak travel time. I guess this is the "high holiday" season in Europe and everyone wants to visit the US for the holiday. We are extending our in country stay by one day to get a reasonable return flight, but I don't really mind. This is our chance to take in as much of Bulgaria as possible. The travel agent's fare was about $600 higher than the price online, so we decided to book the tickets ourselves. Here is our itinerary:

Depart from Chicago O'Hare on July 25 at 5:25 pm, connect in London and arrive in Sofia on July 26 at 8:30 am. Return on August 2 at 6:45 am, connect in London and arrive in Chicago at 11:45 am. All of the flights are with British Airways, so our connections should be at close terminals in an English-speaking country, too.

We got the official referral!

As I was leaving for a haircut and to get documents apostilled in Springfield, I got a call from Kay at Tree of Life...our official, signed referral from the Ministry of Justice in Bulgaria had arrived! We should have certain travel dates on Monday after consultation with the orphanage director. What a relief. Kay sent a copy of the referral by email.

While I was in Springfield, I found the money belts we had been looking for (check out the luggage department at Bergner's). Since Bulgaria is primarily a cash economy, credit cards and traveler's checks are rarely accepted at hotels or shops. Usually you have to go to a bank and pay a fee to get a cash advance or cash a traveler's check. So, the money belts will come in handy. I also found luggage locks that are airline approved and a couple of possible gifts for us to take with us on the trip. It is so hard to find something to give as a show of appreciation to the orphanage director and nannies who have cared for your child for four years. How can any gifts really be appropriate?

When we got home, Mark and I opened the referral together. The photo on the referral is one we haven't seen before that looks like it was taken on the same day! She is smiling. What a doll.

Girlie Stuff

What fun! My friend, Julie, brought over boxes and boxes of girlie stuff...dresses, sweaters, a doll house, games, a horse costume, little pink and white shoes, jeans, coats...We have had several Lucky Ducks games with the boys, too. Mark put a battery into this alphabet refrigerator magnet game and we counted and sang along. It was so fun just imagining her in the cute little dresses and sitting on the floor playing Lucky Ducks with her big brothers. Do I hear, "Again, again?" Thank you so much, Julie. You are awesome!

More Paperwork

We didn't get a call today from the agency, so I guess that means that we still don't have our documents from Bulgaria so that we can travel soon. Mark always thinks that "no news is good news" but I think some news would be an improvement. We got our I-171H extension and the new FBI prints notarized today because we expect the others will be expired before court now. We will probably also need new physicals and letters from the doctor, but we haven't heard for sure about that. I need to take these to Springfield to be apostilled, but I'd like to wait until we know about the physicals. I really hate to make two trips. The good news is that it only costs $2 a document in Illinois. Some states charge $30 per page! If we do travel soon, it would be nice if we could carry these documents to Bulgaria and avoid the charges from FedEx, too.

I also have been working on the photo album for Gracie. We will be able to give her a few pictures of our family and I want them to be just right. We have photos of the house and her room, but I want the ones of our family to ease her fears and help her to transition. I have also been working on captions in English and Bulgarian so that her caretakers can help her to know who is in each photo. We decided to make two identical albums, one for her and one for us to keep in case hers doesn't make it home. It would be a nice keepsake for her.

Diversions

Today I finished and turned in all of my assignments for this week, 27 pages! It really helped to relax, talk to my parents yesterday, watch Blaise in the triathlon and talk through my lesson plans with Terri. She helped me to start thinking about school again, so that I could get focused. That has really been a problem lately.

I know Blaise wasn't particularly happy with his performance in the triathlon, 25th out of 265 individuals and a time of 1:45.00, but watching him again was wonderful. I have really missed being able to go to all of his meets since he is so far away. I was back to doing what I love--cheering and taking video. I know he was surprised to see Grandma and Grandpa Swaar there, too. It was a much better day.

Drowning

When I woke up this morning, I turned off the alarm and saw that Mark had already left for church since he has to sing at all three services. I got all dressed in my red, white and blue and left for the 9:30 service. It wasn't until I pulled into the Glad Tidings parking lot and noticed that there were no cars there that I realized today was Saturday! Mark was at work. And right there, I just turned off the van and sobbed. The "waves" during the last three days have been so stressful...the adrenaline and excitement of preparing to leave in 4 days, then the disappointment of learning that we still don't have a travel date, trying to figure out how to complete three assignments for my master's class before we left (about 35 typed pages), planning and preparing for a Fourth of July cookout at our house, worrying about an email I shouldn't have sent, getting almost no sleep for two days, and still being wife and mom. We could have been getting on a plane headed for Bulgaria, but I was sitting in an empty parking lot instead.

I have had a lot of practice in acting calm in the middle of a storm, but today...I was overwhelmed. I cried off and on all day. Even the boys knew I was out of sorts and I think it worried them, too. On days like today, the adoption journey feels like you are floating on a tiny raft in the middle of huge ocean waves, all alone, without a life jacket. You start paddling in one direction just hoping that you are going in the right direction toward shore, but knowing that at any moment one of those waves could destroy your raft and throw you coughing and sputtering into the sea. Today I'm drowning.

I remember the last time that adoption paperwork didn't arrive on time and timelines kept being changed and extended. We got our hopes up and then got a call saying that the Chinese government had decided, "they could find a better family" than ours. And today I realized that the same thing could happen to us again...

Today, I put away all of the suitcases; I put the beautiful little lavender doll and toys in the closet and I didn't watch the video tonight with Mark. I just couldn't...

Another Delay

Well, after getting crisp bills to take on the trip, contacting the travel agent to schedule flights, scheduling vacation time, emailing the coordinator with questions, calling six toy stores looking for a Gund Kiana doll in stock, reordering the doll to be delivered by overnight express mail (this $13 doll has gotten really expensive), meeting Mark to notarize the new FBI prints and I-171H, contacting our visa card to let them know we will be traveling, calling my parents, making a list of gifts to buy, making "to do" lists for Mark and me, checking the cost of upgrading our Vonage home phone to international rates for 1 month ($10), and being awake most of the night in anticipation, we got another email saying that they aren't going to get our approval letter this week. We aren't leaving in 4 days after all. Now they are saying that we may travel on July 21. Ugh! I was feeling frantic with so much to do, but I had my heart set on leaving this weekend.

This is exactly why international adoption isn't for the faint-hearted. In a second, all of our planning was thrown out the window; emotions plummeted from panicked enthusiasm to tired disappointment. Now, I just feel exhausted...

We're Going in 4 Days!

At 1:00 a.m. I was working on my paper for class and noticed that we received an email from Kay Montes, our international adoption coordinator. Here is what it said:

Dear Kay,
We try to understand when MOJ will give us the referral (Information) for Duhnam and they said us that maybe till the end of this week we will have it. Could you ask the family if they could arrive on Sunday - July 4 or Monday July 5 - that's the earlier date. The next date on which the family could arrive is in August. But we will confirm you in few days when we have the referral in our office.

I don't know if they mean Sunday July 5 or Monday July 6 since the days and dates don't match, but either way that would mean we will leave in 3 or 4 days!!!! I feel the panic setting in. We need to do so many things to be ready to go...buy gifts for everyone, get our updated documents apostilled, book flights, pack, make a photo book to leave with her, compile documents to carry with us, and complete three assignments for my master's degree classes that will be due when we are gone. My heart is racing...Could we really see her next week for the first time? Really? God is definitely throwing those doors open. I feel like I am being whisked along and can hardly catch my breath. When God takes control it is a wild ride!

Dolls

We think we have finally found the perfect doll to give to Gracie as a gift on our first trip. We didn't think our parameters were that unusual until we actually started shopping: washable, soft, appropriate for a toddler. It was really hard to decide. Most of the dolls were surface washable only, made noise, had hard faces or bodies,or had rattles and teething rings attached. We wanted something lovable, yet durable. I ordered a doll I found through Baby Age on Amazon last night and I can't wait to see if it really looks like the photos. This one is really cute! Check out the Kiana doll from Gund that we bought. She is dressed in lavendar with brown hair like Gracie! I hope she is really soft...

Dreaming

My mind is constantly considering all possibilities because I don't like being surprised. It's not that I am a pessimist, I just like to be prepared, so I plan. For instance, right now if you go into my closet, the clothes are organized already for our first trip to Bulgaria. I want to travel light, so I am trying to get all of the clothes I pack to go with one color of shoes. :-) I can't get it to work out, though, so I think I'll have to go with 2 instead, black and cream. Just to make sure that everything will fit in my small bag, I packed everything today and weighed the suitcase...23 pounds! Now that is amazing since I usually take five changes of clothes for one overnight stay. Then, I hung everything back up so it won't be wrinkled and made a list of things I still need to purchase.

For clothes, considering the possibilities is a good idea, but some of the other scenarios that I come up with in my mind are troubling. I have been wondering lately about whether we should change her name. Are we just adding extra confusion to a traumatic transition? And, what if she doesn't want to be adopted? Everything and everyone she has ever known will be left behind. She doesn't know what a family is or that she needs better medical care, she will only know that we have changed everything that made her feel secure. And, what if she doesn't like us? Sometimes I imagine her ignoring us during our visit, or screaming when she sees Mark because she is never around men, or hanging on to us and crying when we have to leave her for months while the adoption is being finalized, or screaming through the 10 hour plane trip. What if I don't like her immediately when we meet, or we don't "connect" after all of this anticipation? Will I have the energy to keep up with a four year old? Am I ready for the broad range of emotions that I could feel during this time? Will I ever look in the mirror and ask, "What were you thinking?"

The honest answer is yes, probably. And, most parents would tell you that at some point, when their child was throwing that tantrum in the mall, or the irate driver was yelling because your children were throwing pine cones at cars, or the principal called with a discipline referral, that there were brief times when they also wondered, "What was I thinking?" It is part of being a parent. If we love our children all the time and like them most of the time, we have been pretty successful.

It is funny that I didn't worry about whether my infant sons would like me or whether I would like them...I didn't even think about it. I'm guessing that most mothers don't, and yet many have the "baby blues" and experience negative feelings they didn't anticipate. Did reality fail to meet their high expectations? I hope that considering many of the possibilities will help me be ready for anything. I know that children come to us already programmed with God-given personalities waiting to emerge. By imagining all of the possibilities, I am setting the stage for a time of discovery and allowing Gracie to write her own script. I can't wait to see the show.

Searching for Information

I love investigating. Since I can't really DO anything except wait, I search. So far I have found a nonprofit organization that works with several orphanages in Bulgaria. Of course, I also found a listing of orphanages and their addresses and Ivan Rilski must be as common as Abraham Lincoln. At least three different orphanages are named Ivan Rilski. So of course, I tried to find the addresses on Live Search so I could see if any of them had a park nearby that looked like the one in our video, with no success. I also have found several Sofia Webcams, read through every travelogue I can find, checked out the hotels, mapped the gold brick scenic route through Sofia, downloaded a currency converter, checked out the Lonely Planet Bulgaria book from the library and downloaded three different language programs. We also ordered the Bulgarian Phrases CD that is made just for adoptive parents. Now, I walk around trying to have conversations with myself using the 25 phrases that I can speak in Bulgarian. I'll be fine as long as Gracie knows the exact same 25 phrases.

We also watch the video of Gracie together everyday. Usually Mark pulls it up right before he goes to bed and I sit on his knee to watch with him. We laugh at the same parts every time and have several phrases that she says memorized. (Too bad we have no idea what she is saying most of the time.) In one part she points to the slide and says something that sounds like "I love it!" We really have actually translated "Come here, dog" and "She's not afraid." Obviously our hope to communicate throught those 25 phrases is doubtful. Next on my learning list are the numbers through 20 and the colors.

The MOJ

The Ministry of Justice (MOJ) in Bulgaria is the entity that actually matches orphans and prospective parents. In an effort to keep busy during the wait, I have learned to use Google Translator to decifer their website that actually lists the children with special needs and the actions that the MOJ takes at each meeting. Well, I found us on the site...On 28/10/2008 we found Gracie's number, birthdate, and description, so we know she is child number 210. On May 12, under the candidates who "expressed interest in adoption of a specific child" it says United States which looks something like CAW in Cyrillic and "yes." They accepted our firm commitment for adoption on May 12!

Travel Tips

When I talked to Kay today, she told me some information about what to expect on our first trip. Here are a few of the details we discussed:

1. Our 4 1/2 year old probably sleeps in a crib, because the baby houses usually don't have any other place for them to sleep. We can ask about this and other questions when we meet the orphanage director.
2. Most orphans are chronically dehydrated, because diapers are expensive.
3. Most offices in Bulgaria do not have air-conditioning so it is difficult to conduct business in the summer.
4. Most Bulgarians have a sense of style that includes more formal dress than Americans are used to. Plan to wear dress pants or a skirt and no flip-flops. Most Bulgarians do not wear shorts.
5. Usually, the children are told that you might be their parents before you meet them for the first time.
6. Most orphans are taught that getting a mommy and daddy is the best thing they could ever hope for.
7. Usually orphans would eat oatmeal with a little milk on it for breakfast, soup for lunch, a small snack or a glass of milk or tea after nap, and a bowl of soup for supper. That would be all of the food and drink for the day.
8. Because the children are in a very sterile environment, they will be easily overstimulated by colors and clutter. It is helpful to scale back on toys, visitors and decorations to give children time to adjust when they get home.
9. We should take gifts for the orphanage director, driver and translator.
10. If we take snacks to share with our child or the other children, we should choose something that is not too rich.
11. Drink bottled water while in Bulgaria and be sure to try the shopska salad!
12. Bring cash because credit cards are not widely accepted.

Hello Mommy!

June 9, 2009...The Ministry of Justice in Bulgaria approved our paperwork and match us officially with Daniela (aka Gracie). When Kay Montes called, Adam was home and answered the phone. He told Kay, that he was mine son and handed me the phone. Kay said that we had been approved and would travel in about 3 weeks. I was jumping around and trying to listen. I remember that I asked her, "So what do we do now?" and she told me to just enjoy the day and that she would get back with us with details in a few days. She definitely doesn't know me very well. I wanted all of the details now. We have no travel information, no idea what to expect to bring, no idea if we should schedule plane tickets, no idea about anything.

As soon as I hung up the phone, Adam was standing there looking at me with that, "are you alright" look. I grabbed him and started jumping around the kitchen screaming...and wet my pants! :-) Reality check...I'm not as young as I feel.

I called Mark right away and left a message saying that I needed for him to call me at home. He didn't even suspect that I would give him this good news. I wish I could have seen his face, but I just couldn't wait to tell someone. I called my parents right after Mark and I could tell Mom was crying on the other end of the line. She was going to be a grandma, again, and now she could actually tell anyone she wanted to tell. Dad was mowing the lawn when I called, so I know Mom enjoyed being able to share that news with him, too. Mark called his family when he got home to spread the joy.

We wanted to tell Blaise and Vince, but they had plans and called to say that they would not be home till late, so we waited until later that evening to tell them the good news in person. We met Terri, Sara and Larry at our favorite restaurant, The Royal International Buffet, for supper to celebrate. Now...I just want the details!

Our Timeline

Here is a (not so) short listing of our adoption process so far:

Vietnam

3-5-2007 Sent in our first homestudy application for Vietnam
4-20-2007 First homestudy visit with social worker #1
5-1-2007 Individual homestudy interviews with social worker #1
5-23-2007 Home study interviews with social worker #1
6-12-2007 Home visit by social worker #1
6-26-2007 Home study interviews with social worker #1
10-5-2007 Received incomplete home study with 19 factual errors
10-8-2007 Assigned social worker #2
10-18-2007 Home visit with social worker #2
11-12-2007 Home study sent to USCIS
1-30-2008 I-171h advanced processing completed for Vietnam. New applications discouraged pending renewal of Joint Agreement between Vietnam and US

China

1-30-2008 Applied to China Special Needs program
2-15-2008 LOI sent to China
4-15-2008? Notified that our LOI was denied and special needs program format changed

Bulgaria

7-31-2008 Applied to Tree of Life for Bulgaria program
8-7-2008 Home study visit with social worker #2
11-6-2008 Applied for change of country with USCIS
12-20-2008 Repeated biometrics in St. Louis
1-14-2009 Received request for evidence from USCIS and contacted SW #2
2-25-2009 Received a USCIS denial of petition for non-compliance by HS agency
3-26-2009 New Orphan Officer calls us at home to reverse the denial and issue I-171h
4-8-2009 Social Worker #2 leaves agency and Social Worker #3 takes over our case
4-16-2009 Received Gracie's photos and medicals
4-17-2009 Submitted firm family commitment for adoption to Bulgaria
4-21-2009 Submitted dossier to TOL
5-12-2009 Ministry of Justice accepts firm family commitment
6-9-2009 Ministry of Justice approves dossier and matches us with Gracie
7-12-2009 Anticipated travel date to meet our daughter!

Miracles

It sometimes seems like every door is closed right before the Grace of God blows open all of the doors at once. For us, it seemed that God had closed the doors to ever adopting, and we were wondering if we had misunderstood what God wanted us to do. We had planned to have a couple more children when Mark and I married in 1997. Little did we know that we would endure tests, fertility clinics and two miscarriages before God would open our hearts to adopting. It's funny how we watched friends from church with their children adopted from overseas, heard the testimony of a special girl who was adopted at age 8, and even had the prompting of Mark's mother in her final hospital stay urging us to "get busy." Then when USCIS rejected our paperwork as incomplete with no option for appeal, we wondered if we had been out of God's will for years. Finally, we stopped struggling to make things happen the way we thought was best. We just stopped. At the time I wondered if we were giving up, but Mark and I both knew that we wanted to be in God's will more than we wanted another child. It wasn't a hopeless time; it was peaceful. God was good, all the time, every day. The blessings He had already given us were far greater than we could have ever hoped for or imagined. And when we stopped, God started.

Anyone who has worked with the US immigration department knows how difficult it is to get any information by mail or email, and I have never heard of anyone, except us, getting a personal phone call at home from USCIS. It is especially amazing that our file had been denied a month before the call and was no longer active. When Mark told me that I needed to listen to the message on our answering machine on Thursday, March 26, I thought that it was probably a garbled message from Blaise that we would try to decipher. LOL So when I heard this, I couldn't believe it:

Hello, this message is for Mr. and Mrs. Gail and Mark Dunham. This is Officer Michelle Colvert from Immigration. I am the new orphan officer here, and I just reviewed the denial that our previous officer sent you about denying the request for change of country, and I did see in there that she did make a mistake and miss a certain element that was required in the home study. It is there, so I reversed the decision. I am approving your request for change of country. The clerks will get the new I-171h typed up and get everything cabled off to Bulgaria, and I did have a question though for you about fingerprinting for Adam. Is he no longer living in your home? I know that you had the other two children printed in December, but I don't see anything on the paper saying that Adam was fingerprinted. Our main computer system is down today, so I can't go into the computer to check. So, if you could just email us back, the email address is chiadopt@dhs.gov and just let me know whether Adam still needs to be fingerprinted or if he is no longer living at home after college is over or what the situation with Adam is. Okay, thank you very much. Bye.

Mark had heard the message several hours before and was just waiting for me to finish my school work and get home. He didn't want to call me and miss seeing my face when I heard. We jumped around and we went out to eat to celebrate. But this was only the first miracle.

We hustled to complete our physicals, get new birth certificates, and notarize all of the documents so that they could be apostilled. When we thought we finally had the last documents ready to take to Springfield and had received the I-171h from immigration, Mark had to work overtime and couldn't get the apostilles. So, I called Kay, our program coordinator, to tell her they would be delayed. She told me that TOL had a file on one sweet little peanut who had not found a family. She told us that they had just gotten a new medical report on her and that the doctor said she had a normal life expectancy, but that she just needed a family to help her develop and keep her from being sick so often. We remembered this little girl's file from before and called Kay back to say, "yes!" We wanted her to be our little girl! We both knew God had chosen her for us and the medical information didn't matter. On April 16, 2009, God opened the door and we walked through. If Mark hadn't worked overtime, we would have sent in our dossier without talking to Kay that evening. We wouldn't have known that Gracie was waiting.

It took days with the online medical dictionary to grasp the medical interventions that she had endured because interstitial, parenchymal, parenteraly, and tachi-dyspnea aren't part of our daily vocabulary. What we discovered from researching is that 750 grams is 1.6 pounds, her birth weight. This fact alone means that according to one site on prematurity, she had a 40-70% survival rate and a 50% chance of having hearing and vision problems. Her vision and hearing were tested and appear to be normal. This little girl, who was delivered in a poor, developing country, received no prenatal care and had no parents advocating for her, is a fighter. I will always be thankful to the wonderful doctors and care-givers who valued her life. Four years later, she is a tiny, active, talkative little girl who will hopefully meet her family before she turns five. She truly is our miracle child!



Here is our dossier!