Kindergarten Screening

I was so happy to see Sharon Cole when we arrived at Kindergarten screening on Wednesday. Grace went with her easily and I had time to explain a little bit about our concerns. Sharon was great, and told us what we anticipated. Grace is not ready for Kindergarten. Here were her strengths:
1. Cut with scissors.
2. Say her name and age.
3. Draw a circle, line, and plus sign.
4. Walk on a line, catch a ball, throw a ball, and jump on two feet.
5. Choose symbols that match, such as numbers and shapes. (She missed 184, because she chose the one with the 4 written backwards, but all of the others were correct.)
6. Count to eight. (This is all she would do for Sharon, but we have heard her count to 13.)

These are a few of things we need to work on:
1. Grace's address and telephone number
2. Identifying colors (Grace said all of them were yellow. Can you tell what we have been working on at home?)
3. Jumping on one foot.
4. Coloring a shape. (Grace tried, but only put a few marks in the shape.)
5. Identifying letters
6. Identifying numbers.
7. Counting to 25.
8. Follow directions so they can test vision and hearing. (She didn't understand and just smiled because she could hear sounds in the headset. When they asked her if she still heard the sound, she said, "All gone.") She needs to raise her hand when she can hear it.

I'm actually relieved that we have support from this screening for placing Gracie in pre-K. I have read several articles on Cumulative Cognitive Deficit and I don't want to advance her to quickly and have the deficiencies show up later on when her reading comprehension is affected. I think it will be better for her if she is successful and prepared for Kindergarten.

We met with the speech therapist at McGaughey, Ms. Born, on Friday to talk about our concerns. This domains meeting is required to test Grace for speech therapy. We are hoping that since she is just learning English she will qualify for some speech and language therapy during the next year. She also suggested summer school in June for a couple of hours, 4 days a week, but we aren't sure about that. We take Grace  back at the end of March to complete the testing.

I was a star today!

I've Been Home for 2 Months!

Time  is passing so quickly. I can't even believe that Grace has been home for 2 months! After raising 3 sons, I realize how easy it is to get so busy as a parent that you forget to stop and appreciate the blessings that are all around you. Today, I just want to take note of what makes Grace extra special:

1. She is a survivor. Through the past 2 months I have started to really realize how much Grace has fought to overcome, and I marvel daily at her zest for living. I sometimes watch her and wonder about her experiences during the past 5 years. In my heart I know that there were angels watching over her and she was not ever alone, but this week I wondered if anyone here on earth loved her during those long months when she was in the hospital. Somehow against all odds, she kept a gentle spirit.
2. She has a way of making everyone she meets smile. At times I wondered if this was a survival mechanism...being cute and lovable helps you to get what you need in an orphanage...but I truly think that she just has a loving heart. I hope that she is learning to trust family, and I hope that some day she will distinguish between the loving care of her family and the temporary attention of strangers. I don't want to stifle her energy and overflowing love, but it is important for her to form a special bond with us.
3. For a child who has lived with lack, she is very generous. Even when we were in Bulgaria, she would offer us bites of her food, help us finish our work, and share. She doesn't know the word "share," but she does it naturally. She will give her shakers to kids who are crying at Baby Talk, hand buckets to Mommy and Daddy from the bathtub to play with, and give gifts without concern for herself..
4. Grace has a servant heart. She wipes off the table, covers up her dolls and family members with blankets, pushes the snow shovel with Daddy, helps to fix broken toys, sets the table, folds the clothes, makes her bed, helps Adam sort his laundry, tries to get uncooperative children to sit on the rug in Sunday School, is troubled by crying babies and says "ne plachi" with a sad look on her face, reminds people to put on hats and button up their coats when they go outside, and likes to help make dinner.
5. She doesn't like for people to leave. She walks outside, even when it is freezing to say, "It's cold outside, as te obichem, Gracie wave, die me kiss, and I love you," as Adam leaves for work or relatives come to visit. She stands at the window watching every car leave, talks about when that person will return and where they are going, and asks over and over about where they are going. Sometimes she sounds like a worried mother asking 100 questions before her teenager leaves for the evening. She remembers the special people in her life and still talks about Leelee and Neska from the orphanage, her friend Emanwewe, and her aunts, uncles, and cousins that she sees infrequently.
6. She is observant. She knows when we are headed to church and even plays a game of "Where is it?" She knows that she sees K.J. at church and looks for him, she identifies the UPS, FedEx, and the daily mail vehicles as mail trucks, notices every truck, car, and schoolbus on the road, can walk directly to any restroom that she has previously visited without taking a wrong turn, and puts her toys and clothes in exactly the same place everyday. When the trash gets close to the top of the can, she pulls out the bag, picks up all of the cans around the house and empties them into the kitchen bag so it is ready to take to the garage. I never have to remember when to clean anymore, because Grace will notice and tell me if something is dirty.
7. She shows her love freely. She throws her arms wide and says, "Die me kiss" so that Mommy and Daddy will kiss her cheeks simultaneously while she sings, "I love you. As te obichem" over and over with us. She meets Daddy at the door with shouts of "Daddy's home, Daddy's home" and squeezes in between us anytime we kiss. She smiles back at me when she is sucking her thumb and rocking with me in the chair before bed as if she just can't contain all of her joy. 
8. She is very polite. She says, "Bless you" anytime you sneeze, and says, "Thank you" without prompting. She even says, "Thank you" when she hands you something as if to remind you that you should say it to her. When I help her get dressed in the morning she says, "Thank you, Mommy!" and reminds us to say, "You're welcome" if we forget.
9. She learns quickly. Already she uses over 300 English words and will repeat nearly anything that you say to her. She has the cutest Bulgarian accent, though, so it is difficult for others to understand her sometimes as some of the sounds, like long o, seem to come from deep in her throat. She also pronounces some English words like our translators in Bulgaria did, such as "shoes" with the /s/ sound instead of /z/ at the end. I also like the way she uses Bulgarian and English words contiguously in her sentences. She will say, "Tichay running," or "Iash eat," like she is making those language connections all the time. We spent a week trying to keep track of all the words that she knows and uses and her vocabulary exceeds 300 words. Here is our list:

Cutting...paper, not hair!

When we bought the scissors, I didn't expect her to love them so much. She loves cutting on straight and curvy lines, chopping paper into miniscule little pieces, and then using the dustpan and hand broom to sweep them up. I am really trying to help her develop a dominant hand, her right, since she shows absolutely no preference for coloring, eating, or sucking her thumb. Once I showed her how to hold the scissors, she always has tried to use her right hand. Yesterday we cut out a yellow circle, drew a lion's face on it with crayons, glued it to a paper plate and cut out about 15 strips of paper to attach for his mane. Yes, I once taught Kindergarten, ages ago. She loved it and stayed with the task until it was complete.

Today, though, I noticed that her bangs were hanging down in her eyes...I bet you can already guess where this is headed...As soon as I got out my large scissors, she said, "Gracie cutting" and tried to grab the scissors. I told her, "No!" and explained that Mommy cuts hair, not Gracie. Even though she was disappointed she told me, "Gracie no cut hair." When she started using her scissors, though, I kept a watchful eye. She was great. You knew she was thinking about it when she kept telling me, "Mommy cut hair, Gracie no. Gracie cut paper."

It wasn't until Mark came home from work that she appeared proudly from the bathroom saying, "Gracie beautiful" and holding the scissors up in the air with a devious smile. We knew immediately and the chunk of hair on the bathroom floor was proof. It isn't very noticeable, though. She just has a few short layers on top now.

We sat her on the couch and she did her usual head hanging routine. We took her scissors and put them away out of her reach and told her that she couldn't have her scissors now because she cut her hair. After about 5 minutes she told us, "Grace cut hair. I sorry," and gave this huge forced grin with her arms stretched out. We hugged her, of course. Then she asked, "Where scissors?" and we told her that Gracie didn't get scissors because she cut hair. When it finally sunk in, a tear rolled down her face and I thought I would have to tie Mark up in the other room to keep him from giving in to those sad eyes. Mom is an old pro at ignoring those begging eyes...

Maybe we will try cutting paper with scissors, tomorrow...at least that is what Gracie keeps telling us. "Scissors, ootray. Gracie no cutting hair."

Robot Party

When Grace was handed an invitation to Karson's birthday party at church, she thought the "little book" folded paper invitation was a treat. She carried it around all day long and asked to look at it even after we posted it on the refrigerator as a reminder. Personally, I have never liked big groups of screaming, out-of-control kids (especially after dealing with them at school), but I thought this would be a great opportunity for Grace to spend some time with other kids closerto her age.

Well, after the first hurdle of picking out a gift and trying to explain to Grace that it wasn't for her, we were off to the party. But, the blue man (Karson's dad) dressed as a robot and greeting the guests outside on the sidewalk was the first distraction. She had no idea what a robot was and second, the only other person she had ever seen in a costume was dressed as a pizza slice at Walmart. Since this robot had his head covered, she was really confused. She just stood looking out the storm door of the house while I peeled off her coat and shoes.

When the robot finally came inside, Grace followed him and the other 3 robot family members for the first 10 minutes and kept telling everyone, "Robot, robot!" There was a lego building game, and every child got a helmet and breast plate to wear that made them look like robots, too. By the time all of the kids and adults arrived, there were about 15 kids and 20 adults all talking (adults of course) and running around screaming (mostly kids). Grace just sat wide-eyed and overwhelmed at the table while they all sang "Happy Birthday" in robot fashion and ate cupcakes. At one point, Grace climbed into my lap and started sucking her thumb. After two bathroom trips in less than an hour, she wet her pants. It was just too much commotion for her. Even though I had a change of clothes for her in the car, we said our thank-yous and headed home. She didn't fuss about it at all. Maybe a girl's party, where kids weren't pitching toys over the balcony and fighting each other with fake swords, would have been easier for her to handle...

A Shower--No Bath

Today we were honored with a shower at Mt. Zion Intermediate and we visited my students, too. Grace was all dressed up and excited  to go to "Mommy's school." We took candy for Grace to give to the children, so she walked around asking each child, "Hungry?" before she would give them a valentine package of Sweet Tarts. Two of my students had made drawings for me and two others made a bead necklace and bracelet for Grace. The students seemed so big to me. I don't know whether they have grown or I have gotten used to tiny little Gracie, though.

I was hoping to get a chance to talk to some of the teachers since I am really missing adult conversation (not that Mark and Adam aren't adults), but I spend most of my days clapping when Grace potties all by herself and talking about colors, animals, and play-doh. Even though we were only at school for about an hour and a half, it felt great to see everyone. I think I'll be ready to go back to school in August. They are all gearing up for ISAT testing, though, and truthfully I don't miss that stressful time at all.

Grace and I were overwhelmed with books, stuffed animals, children's song tapes and CD's , activities, and sweet notes to add to Grace's scrapbook. The cake was so cute, and there were so many gifts that she got tired of opening them! She has a great little library now. I don't think she will want to go to the public library for a while, since we have plenty of new and exciting reading material to keep us busy.

It seemed a little strange to be guests at a shower, but we really enjoyed ourselves. Although all teachers will tell you that teaching is harder than they imagined it would be, today reminded me of how blessed I am to have a job that I often enjoy; working with people who I like and respect. Yes, teaching has its difficult days (and sometimes years) but some of the most amazing people I know I met in the Mt. Zion School District. I am thankful for every one of them.

When we got home, I was telling Mark about the shower and unloading the presents from the van when Grace said, "Gracie and Mommy shower...No bath!" No wonder English is such a hard language to learn...

The Glider Is Here

The glider and ottoman finally arrived so Grace and I went to Springfield to pick them up. I have been really excited to try one more way to reduce the self-comforting, rocking behaviors that we still see at night and to encourage her to snuggle and relax in our arms. It breaks my heart every time I see her turning rhythmically with her arm over her head and her thumb in her mouth. It reminds me that she wasn't comforted enough by her caregivers and learned to withdraw into her own movements.We have found that if we hold her close and pat her back/stroke her hair, she will fall asleep easily, but she still rocks anytime she rouses slightly during the night.

Anyway, back to the chair...The first obstacle, of course, was getting the rocker from the van into the house with all of that extra help, but I finally was able to muscle it in the front door. Then Grace had to hold the flashlight (which was totally unnecessary, but kept her busy) while I put in the four bolts. She was completely uninterested in the box and was only mildly interested in the chair. In a rerun of Christmas morning, she just picked up after me and threw away the packing and the directions.

I tried to get her to play in the box, but she just acted confused. I modeled for her, climbed inside, added pillows and a blanket, went with her to get Mr. Feet and Kukla, and even pretended to take a nap, but she really didn't care about it. Later we moved it next to the slide in the family room like a makeshift room addition, but the only thing she really liked about it was the hand holds in the sides which she uses as little peep holes when she hides inside waiting for Mommy and Daddy to find her during hide and seek.

So what do I do with this box?

Valentine's Day

Adam told us that the Valentine's Day Dinner Theater at the church would be hilarious, and he was right. We had a wonderful evening. Gracie made a heart pin out of perler beads for Grandma's birthday, and she even helped by unwrapping Grandma's gift for her. We finally decided to let family hold Gracie once in a while earlier this week, so Terri and Grandma and Grandpa took full advantage while Gracie fidgeted from one person to the next. I was hoping that she would enjoy the drama since brother Adam was one of the characters, but I'm sure it is like watching a foreign film that lacks subtitles...She really didn't care about it except to point at Adam on stage.

During the last intermission, Mark received a phone call from his friend, Doug, who was calling from the Chinese New Year celebration at our favorite Chinese Buffet. We have really gotten to be friends with the owners who invited us to join their family last year for the after hours celebration, and they wanted us to stop by on our way home. It was getting really late, but we stopped just long enough to say "hello" to their family and for Gracie to get her first "lucky money" in the red envelope which is a traditional Chinese custom. What an exciting day.

Grace has had a cold this week, complete with the discomfort of a stuffy nose that makes thumb sucking nearly impossible. I also found out that cold medicine is no longer given to children under age 6. (Things have really changed in the last 20 years...) We moved Grace back into our room this week so that I could keep an eye on her during the night when she is fussy. She has been really tired, sleeping about 12 hours a day, but she isn't running a fever and doesn't really act sick. I hope we didn't overdo with all of the excitement tonight since she was feeling a lot better today...I guess we will know tomorrow.

I finally get to hold my niece!

The Dentist

No cavities! Gracie loves people and the dentist is no exception. She was so cooperative that the hygienist even scraped plaque off of the backs of her front teeth that had built up over the past 5 years, flossed her teeth, and gave her a flouride treatment.

So Much to Learn

Everyday is a new adventure...I stopped at McGaughey School to see if I could set up a Kindergarten Screening appointment and talked briefly with some of the Pre-K teachers. Bad news...Even though Grace is English Second Language, she is too old to go to the Early Childhood class in Mt. Zion next year, which was our plan. Her only options now are to start Kindergarten or to go to a private preschool somewhere. I talked to the interim principal, Mrs. Zinn, and she is going to check on the regulations for me, but it doesn't look promising. So, I need to check out some Pre-K programs and soon...

Grace has been learning more every day. I have really been trying to help her learn how to pretend, so we push the stuffed animals around in the wagon, make pretend food out of playdoh, and jump like the monkeys on the movies. I have been trying to work on some of the skills she will need for school next year, too, but it is so hard to figure out what is most important right now. She now says that she is "Gracie Daniela Dunham" and that she is 5. We glued macaroni onto some paper to make her name (but she doesn't like to get anything on her fingers) and have been trying to learn a few new songs. She has been making things out of perler beads as we practice her colors, but she doesn't remember the color names yet. She really likes the Eensie Weensie Spider (Mark says its Itsy Bitsy...), 5 Little Monkeys Jumping on the Bed, and Jesus Loves Me. She likes gluing paper shapes into lines on paper and she knows that the letters on the pages of books are the words. She points to them when she "reads" to Mommy and Daddy and tells us to "Listen!" Her favorite thing to do, though, is taking pictures. She begs to use our camera, tells everyone to smile, and clicks away. She really is pretty good and doesn't cut off our heads too often. We really need to get her a cheap camera of her own so she won't end up breaking ours...Maybe tomorrow.

Pizza, green beans, pretzels, apples, and corn...Yummy!

My First Tricycle

Mark decided that Grace needed a Radio Flyer tricycle with a step on the back like he had when he was a little boy, so he shopped around and found them at Rural King. Gracie, of course, chose pink over red for the color and she was really disappointed when she helped Daddy cut the tape off of the box and the bicycle was all "broken." (She learned that word a couple of days ago when Adam's car was broken...) She had more fun putting it together than she did riding it. We were really worried that she was too small or the tricycle was too big, but a few adjustments to the seat put her feet on the pedals. Now the only problems are chairs that are not pushed in around the kitchen table and poor steering that pinches little fingers between the handlebars and the hallway walls. Usually she will come to show us her "boli" and beg for ice and a band-aid.

She rides the same path over and over--around the kitchen table, down the hall, around the sofa and past the computer desk, back down the hallway and into the kitchen--again and again. Of course, sometimes she takes Mr. Feet (the orange guy from the Foot Book by Dr. Seuss) and Kukla (her doll) for rides, too, usually to "church" or the "library."

Gracie, some men actually read directions...

"Gracie fix"

Now, if you hold your tongue like this...

Grace and Mr. Feet on the way to sing at church.

Blaise "Teechay" Running

When we headed off to see Blaise's track meet in Murfreesboro, Tennessee, we looked like a homeless family, ready to live right out of our van. We put the stow-and-go seats down in the back and loaded Grace's toddler bed and the potty chair into the back of the van. When Grace saw it she started laughing and said, "No Leka Noshte (good night) in the car!" It was a great choice. She went right to sleep in her bed and Vince took the pull-out sofa right next to Mommy and Daddy. When I woke up in the morning on this college trip, I had actually slept and didn't have any little feet thrown over my face.

We took extra time during the drive, stopping at several gas stations and rest areas on the way so that Grace didn't have to sit for more than an hour and a half. It ended up being a great weekend because Vince and Grandma and Grandpa Swaar even joined us (through a snow storm). Blaise loved showing off his little sister at the hotel and invited a bunch of his teammates to play hide and seek and "running" through the halls of the hotel with her. Grace loves people and enjoyed all of the attention from the girls on the team. She didn't even cry when she ran into the corner of the table over and over.

We dressed her in red and blue so she looked like Samford's mascot and headed to the meet the next morning after breakfast. The indoor track meet was filled with new sites for her: pole vaulters jump "gulyam" (big), people were long jumping into the sand and you could tell she wanted to join them, and there were loud gun noises and people shouting. When Blaise was running, we taught Grace to say, "Run faster!" and she played with her brothers who she has missed desperately. Grandpa let her take pictures with his camera, and we weren't sure whether she would give it up without a fight when it was time to go home. You can really tell from the pictures how much she loved seeing all of her family.

The trip home was more difficult, though. We left around 6:00 pm and Grace does not like to sleep in the car seat. We thought it would be a good idea to put her into her feety pajamas, but then we didn't really want her to run around at the rest stops without shoes, either. She whined and fidgeted for the last several hours of the trip, and we just knew that she was exhausted and frustrated that she couldn't get to sleep. We tried propping her up with the neck pillows, but she just wanted to lay down. It made me remember how I used to sleep on the floor board before seat belts and car seats. It is a wonder we ever survived...  :-)

By the way, Blaise ran his best 3000m time by 17 seconds! You can tell that he was happy with his performance. I really miss being able to cheer him on at all of his meets.

"Hat on"

I missed Blaise and Vince soooooooo much!

Blaise, run faster!

Can you tell he loves his little sister?

As te obichem, Grandma and Grandpa!

Pre-K or Kindergarten?

Well, I checked at McGaughey School last week to see if we could get Grace scheduled for preschool screening and found out that she doesn't qualify because she is too old...The grant will only allow children who turned 5 after September 1 to be in pre-K next year even though she is considered English Second Language eligible. Now what? She can go to Kindergarten two years in a row or we have to find a private pre-K for her for the fall. I called Kids N Fitness, Little People's Prep School, and Pershing Early Learning Center to find out about programs and realized that only a few spots are open at each one for children in their 4 year old pre-K programs. In fact, registration is open now or will be open within the next couple of weeks, so we have to make a decision. I spent two days running around to visit and get information. Each program has its benefits, so it is going to be a difficult decision.

After visiting all three programs, we decided to enroll Grace into Little People's Prep School. I like the fact that this is the closest program to our house, the students have a daily devotion time, it is less expensive by $40 a week, and I know the assistant director from church. To save a place for her in the class, I will pay the registration fee and the first week's fee when registration opens on February 15. Then we went ahead and signed Grace up for Kindergarten screening on February 24. Although I don't think she will be ready for Kindergarten, this will give us a way to narrow down the skills she needs to work on and will provide information for the Domains Meeting we will have at the school on February 26. This meeting will get the ball rolling on supplemental speech and language therapy, occupational and physical therapy through our school district. While I was talking to the speech therapist in preparation for the meeting, she mentioned that Grace could attend 1/2 day Kindergarten next year or summer pre-K for 3 hours a day during the month of June. She suggested that I consider 2 years of K instead of pre-school. It would be much more convenient for us, but I am not convinced it would be best for her. I am really concerned about Cumulative Cognitive Deficit. Wouldn't it be better to let Grace be a child, pretend, play, experiment, and interact with children who were at her developmental level than to push her into an academic setting as her first school experience? I don't want her to feel frustrated and overwhelmed...I feel better knowing that regardless of the outcome of these meetings, Grace has a space reserved in a full-time preschool next year. If we change our minds, all we have lost is a registration fee and one week's tuition.

Daddy Work...

Daddy went back to work and Gracie (and Mommy) really missed him. All day long she was asking, "Kade Daddy?" and I would fire back the same question, "Where's Daddy?" She told me over and over again that he was at work. When he got home, she met him at the door with hugs, kisses, and a rundown on the day which I had to interpret for him. We took showers, did laundry, folded clothes, swept the kitchen, vacuumed, made the beds, played "running," colored a picture, read books, watched the Kid Songs video twice, unloaded the dishwasher, watched the squirrels, and then it was time for lunch...We need to go shopping for some toys that are more active (maybe some paints, a tricycle, a basketball goal, or some musical instruments) and she is going to have to learn to play by herself a little bit...Now, how did I handle three kids under age 2?  Oh, yeah, now I remember...I was a lot younger then.