Sunday, November 29, 2009
Wednesday, November 25, 2009
Itinerary and Preparations
After booking flights through United, Kay at TOL gave us a tip of a travel agency in New Jersey that was able to get better rates for another adoptive family, so we contacted them by email for a quote on flights. With two hours to go, before we missed the 24 hour cancellation window on our non-refundable tickets, we got a better deal. Save $1995, fly LOT Polish Air through Warsaw, and stay an extra day. We decided that the $60 a day for the apartment was insignificant compared to the savings. We now fly out of Chicago on Saturday, December 12 and return Sunday, December 20. Now the only concern is that we could not confirm seats together for the flight from Chicago to Warsaw. We will need to arrive really early at the airport to see if we can get any of the seats the airline reserves.
At school today, I found out who will be my substitute, made an information packet for her, and sent home some of the textbooks today. I drafted a letter to send to parents to let them know that I will not be finishing the year with their children. Mr. T. will look it over tomorrow and we will mail it out. Mark has been arranging vacation and FMLA, we finally bought shoes today, and we put up the Christmas tree with the boys.
We saw in the Sofia News that a 50 ft. living Christmas tree is being lighted with 800 meters of lights in front of the Rila Hotel in Sofia, Bulgaria on December 1. They are having a European style festival called "Koledariya 2009" with cookies, warmed wine, and puppet shows for the kids. Even though we will miss the festival, we printed off the information for our trip. It would be fun to take Grace to see the tree one evening if the weather is nice during our visit. Maybe seeing the lighted tree there would make the one in our living room less confusing, too.
At school today, I found out who will be my substitute, made an information packet for her, and sent home some of the textbooks today. I drafted a letter to send to parents to let them know that I will not be finishing the year with their children. Mr. T. will look it over tomorrow and we will mail it out. Mark has been arranging vacation and FMLA, we finally bought shoes today, and we put up the Christmas tree with the boys.
We saw in the Sofia News that a 50 ft. living Christmas tree is being lighted with 800 meters of lights in front of the Rila Hotel in Sofia, Bulgaria on December 1. They are having a European style festival called "Koledariya 2009" with cookies, warmed wine, and puppet shows for the kids. Even though we will miss the festival, we printed off the information for our trip. It would be fun to take Grace to see the tree one evening if the weather is nice during our visit. Maybe seeing the lighted tree there would make the one in our living room less confusing, too.
Friday, November 20, 2009
Too Many Tears
Nearly every significant event in my life has been marked by tears, and today they bubbled over several times. For anyone who knows me well, you understand that tears punctuate nearly every part of my life...I cry at weddings, funerals, graduations, departures to college, the day the boys drove away in the car for the first time, the first time they slept in "big" beds, the first time they slept through the night...Sometimes, I even cry in anticipation of events as I work through what is to come. Oddly, I cried through Adam's junior year in high school as I realized that I would be marking Adam's last year of high school the next year. Working through my feelings of what was to come helped me to stay composed when it was actually my turn to be the proud parent of a senior. I'm hoping today's tears will help me to remain composed when we pick up Grace at the orphanage.
Today I have been overwhelmed with the significance of December 14 in Grace's life. When she walks out of the orphanage with us, she will lose everything she has ever known and understood. She will lose her routines, her sense of security, the comfort of her own bed, her language, her name, and the people who have loved and cared for her. She will lose all that is familiar and will probably not even fathom the significance of the day. How could she? But someday, just as I feel after being on vacation, she will long for the comfort of routine. She may feel the way I do when we drive into the garage and are finally home from a long trip. Grace, however, will never get to go back "home" again. She is losing so much.
I'm thankful that Grace has the blessing of being naive. She doesn't know that she should have already been moved across the street to the orphanage for 4-7 year olds. She doesn't realize how long "forever" may be. She doesn't understand that the "aunties" have families of their own. Perhaps she has a vague notion that others belong in a way she does not, but probably her experiences keep her from truly having a reference point. Imagine trying to explain marriage if you had never seen that relationship. "Family" has to be just as foreign and elusive a concept for her. You see, until we walk away on December 14, she won't have ever experienced an alternative to the comforting predictability of the orphanage. You can't miss what you don't know exists. But after she joins our family, she will clearly miss all that she has left behind. Her security, language, cultural expectations, her bed, the favorite aunties, the foods that she especially loves, the social order, the little tricycle, Emanwewe, her bucket and shovel, her place at the table, the comfort of having every decision made for her...she will lose everything.
I know that family is a wonderful, often unappreciated gift. But if I were in her place, I think I would be wondering when they were going to take me back. My heart breaks for her. In all of our joy, as we gain our hearts desire, I don't want to forget that she is losing so much. She does not need for me to be a blubbery mess, so I hope I am just getting these tears out of the way...
Today I have been overwhelmed with the significance of December 14 in Grace's life. When she walks out of the orphanage with us, she will lose everything she has ever known and understood. She will lose her routines, her sense of security, the comfort of her own bed, her language, her name, and the people who have loved and cared for her. She will lose all that is familiar and will probably not even fathom the significance of the day. How could she? But someday, just as I feel after being on vacation, she will long for the comfort of routine. She may feel the way I do when we drive into the garage and are finally home from a long trip. Grace, however, will never get to go back "home" again. She is losing so much.
I'm thankful that Grace has the blessing of being naive. She doesn't know that she should have already been moved across the street to the orphanage for 4-7 year olds. She doesn't realize how long "forever" may be. She doesn't understand that the "aunties" have families of their own. Perhaps she has a vague notion that others belong in a way she does not, but probably her experiences keep her from truly having a reference point. Imagine trying to explain marriage if you had never seen that relationship. "Family" has to be just as foreign and elusive a concept for her. You see, until we walk away on December 14, she won't have ever experienced an alternative to the comforting predictability of the orphanage. You can't miss what you don't know exists. But after she joins our family, she will clearly miss all that she has left behind. Her security, language, cultural expectations, her bed, the favorite aunties, the foods that she especially loves, the social order, the little tricycle, Emanwewe, her bucket and shovel, her place at the table, the comfort of having every decision made for her...she will lose everything.
I know that family is a wonderful, often unappreciated gift. But if I were in her place, I think I would be wondering when they were going to take me back. My heart breaks for her. In all of our joy, as we gain our hearts desire, I don't want to forget that she is losing so much. She does not need for me to be a blubbery mess, so I hope I am just getting these tears out of the way...
Thursday, November 19, 2009
Flight Fiasco
My mission for today...book flights. Sounds simple, but instead of a few simple computer keystrokes to enter our credit card number, I spent the day honing my powers of persuasion. I started by calling Mike at the travel agency that TOL recommended. He couldn't find a return trip, on December 19th (the beginning of the Christmas holiday), that didn't involve 2 layovers Munich and Frankfurt. So, I started calling the customer service numbers for the major airlines to ask about adoption fares. United told me that they offer 65% off of a full price, round-trip ticket for adoptions as long as the connecting flights to Sofia were booked with a partner airline, Lufthansa. So I logged in to the United Airlines Web site to check out their full price fares which were much better than the ones on Expedia and Orbitz. Once we found the flight times, with only one connection, and prices that we liked, I called United to book. Unfortunately, the adoption fares only apply to the price of a refundable ticket, so it was going to cost more for the adoption fare than the standard price. And the best rates were through Lufthansa on all of the connections, so the agent referred me to customer service at Lufthansa. Well, Lufthansa doesn't offer adoption fares, so it was back to the drawing board. I really would have liked the free upgrade to "economy plus" we would get with the adoption rate with "up to 5 extra inches of leg room" but I'm too cheap to pay for that kind of comfort and Gracie and I have short legs anyway. (Sorry, Mark. Next time you'll have to book the tickets.) So I started checking the standard rates again.
Amazingly, I found that even though the fares were supposed to be listed according to price, this one return flight halfway down the page on United was a jackpot fare. On the first page of the site it said the cost was $1492.00 plus tax per person, but when you hit "continue"the site flashed a green announcement, "We have found a lower fare. Please note that the fare is now lower for the itinerary that you selected. The updated fare is displayed below. Details."
We could fly out of O'hare through Frankfurt for our departure and return from Sofia via Munich for much less than the cost of every other connection: $3009.00 for 3 full-price tickets. It was three round-trip tickets for the price of two! So we checked the itinerary with Kay at TOL and rushed to booking the tickets.
Sign up for United frequent flyer miles, complete the flight and meal information, agree to the travel insurance terms, put in the credit card information and... "Error. We are experiencing technical difficulties, try back later." After 6 or 7 attempts "later" we still couldn't book the flights, and we were starting to worry about whether those connections would still be available. So, we tried using the desktop computer instead of the laptop. No luck. Finally we decided to call and make phone reservations, $25 per booking, just to be sure that we had seats reserved on this flight. As I was beginning to dial, I noticed a United Technical Support phone number and decided to try one more time to avoid those booking fees.
I guess I hadn't really considered that the advertised price was an error. I thought I was getting a special deal...children fly free with two adults, or something like that. Well, after running out the batteries on three phone handsets, asking to talk to a supervisor, sending a screen shot by email of the advertised fare stating "$3009.00 for 3 passengers," and waiting on hold for 15-20 minutes, the representative discovered that the website had a glitch. If I would have clicked on the details link, it would have shown that the fare for each person with tax was $1504.50 usd and the computer had failed to add in the child's rate. I suggested false advertising, highlighted the website's declaration of a lower price, dismissed her suggestion that we should have clicked on the details link and added up the cost manually, and asserted that when I clicked on the yes button that said, "Accept new price" that United had contracted to honor this advertised price. The supervisor agreed. I'm not sure whether I am terrifically persuasive and convincing (no not stubborn), or if poor Mel had other things to do, but we got the advertised price. Basically, in the middle of the holiday rush on December 19th, Grace will be flying for free on her way to becoming a new US citizen. Mel booked our tickets to reserve our flight and will call us tomorrow with the details on how, with discount coupons, she is going to honor this rate. The whole time I was on the phone, Mark was laying on the couch smiling and shaking his head. He knew, from experience I suppose, that the supervisor didn't have a prayer. I thought I was right, and I wasn't going to give up until I convinced Mel that I was right, too. Hmmmm...now which side of the family did I learn this from?
By the way, we just checked the United website again, and the price is now $6641.00 for the itinerary that we just booked for $3009.00, and the site is still announcing a reduced fare and miscalculating the cost. I don't think it will be a good day for the I.T. staff at United tomorrow.
Amazingly, I found that even though the fares were supposed to be listed according to price, this one return flight halfway down the page on United was a jackpot fare. On the first page of the site it said the cost was $1492.00 plus tax per person, but when you hit "continue"the site flashed a green announcement, "We have found a lower fare. Please note that the fare is now lower for the itinerary that you selected. The updated fare is displayed below. Details."
We could fly out of O'hare through Frankfurt for our departure and return from Sofia via Munich for much less than the cost of every other connection: $3009.00 for 3 full-price tickets. It was three round-trip tickets for the price of two! So we checked the itinerary with Kay at TOL and rushed to booking the tickets.
Sign up for United frequent flyer miles, complete the flight and meal information, agree to the travel insurance terms, put in the credit card information and... "Error. We are experiencing technical difficulties, try back later." After 6 or 7 attempts "later" we still couldn't book the flights, and we were starting to worry about whether those connections would still be available. So, we tried using the desktop computer instead of the laptop. No luck. Finally we decided to call and make phone reservations, $25 per booking, just to be sure that we had seats reserved on this flight. As I was beginning to dial, I noticed a United Technical Support phone number and decided to try one more time to avoid those booking fees.
I guess I hadn't really considered that the advertised price was an error. I thought I was getting a special deal...children fly free with two adults, or something like that. Well, after running out the batteries on three phone handsets, asking to talk to a supervisor, sending a screen shot by email of the advertised fare stating "$3009.00 for 3 passengers," and waiting on hold for 15-20 minutes, the representative discovered that the website had a glitch. If I would have clicked on the details link, it would have shown that the fare for each person with tax was $1504.50 usd and the computer had failed to add in the child's rate. I suggested false advertising, highlighted the website's declaration of a lower price, dismissed her suggestion that we should have clicked on the details link and added up the cost manually, and asserted that when I clicked on the yes button that said, "Accept new price" that United had contracted to honor this advertised price. The supervisor agreed. I'm not sure whether I am terrifically persuasive and convincing (no not stubborn), or if poor Mel had other things to do, but we got the advertised price. Basically, in the middle of the holiday rush on December 19th, Grace will be flying for free on her way to becoming a new US citizen. Mel booked our tickets to reserve our flight and will call us tomorrow with the details on how, with discount coupons, she is going to honor this rate. The whole time I was on the phone, Mark was laying on the couch smiling and shaking his head. He knew, from experience I suppose, that the supervisor didn't have a prayer. I thought I was right, and I wasn't going to give up until I convinced Mel that I was right, too. Hmmmm...now which side of the family did I learn this from?
By the way, we just checked the United website again, and the price is now $6641.00 for the itinerary that we just booked for $3009.00, and the site is still announcing a reduced fare and miscalculating the cost. I don't think it will be a good day for the I.T. staff at United tomorrow.
Wednesday, November 18, 2009
We Have Travel Dates!
As Mark was getting ready to leave for choir, we got the email. We have confirmed travel dates. We leave on December 12th and return on December 19th. Not only will Grace be the best Christmas present that we get this year, but we will have her home in time for Blaise and Vince to spend a little time with her, too. We were told to expect 8-10 days for the second trip, so this schedule of only 7 days is also a nice surprise. I'm a planner, so for the first time in a while, I feel at peace. I'll sleep really well tonight knowing that we have 3 1/2 weeks to get everything ready to go.
Tuesday, November 17, 2009
Now It's 2-4 Weeks
Two weeks ago today we got the news, so instead of 4-6 weeks before we travel, it should be 2-4 weeks from today! We have a list of things to get done and we are checking them off...Car seat, check. Hang mini-blinds in Grace's bedroom, check. Buy tennis shoes, check. Get Pedialyte powder, check. Buy a large purse/travel bag, check. Post midterm grades, check. We even have been doing serious Christmas shopping so that we can hibernate when we get home...Yep, we'll be ready whenever they tell us we can go.
Thursday, November 12, 2009
eBay Shopping
I never understood it until this week, but eBay could be addictive. I was looking for black shoes for Gracie and instead ended up bidding on the cutest little, 2-piece Christmas dress. I won! It's almost like being in Las Vegas!!! This little dress cost me only 99 cents, plus shipping, and it arrived yesterday. I know most women love the mall, but I really prefer not to shop unless I need to buy something. I hate waiting in line, searching for something I want that doesn't seem to exist in my size, forgetting where I parked the car (lol), and spending money... I do love the sense of accomplishment I get when I have found a great deal, though, so eBay may just become my new favorite "store."
Girl clothes really are more fun than boy clothes. Monday, November 9, 2009
Keeping Busy
I'm really having a hard time focusing on school, and it really annoys me to sit around and DO nothing. To help pass the time I started packing yesterday. I got out one of the small suitcases that can double as a carry-on and started putting all of the do-dads and supplies we have accumulated for Grace into the suitcase. We will have her with us for about 8 days, so we need toys, emergency meds., and necessities. So far we have undershirts in pastel colors, tiny little printed underwear, pull-ups, socks, tights, a toothbrush, child-safe toothpaste, clear children's motrin, rainbow colored band-aids, a first aid kit, children's vitamins, a paint by water book, bubbles, a beachball, furry lamb slippers, glow bracelets, a travel baby toiletries kit, a touch and feel book, play-doh, flavored chapstick, lacing cards, a push and go tiger/car, tiny posable dolls, furry velcro pets, a pair of sunglasses, 2 magnetic "sticker" books, crayons, a coloring book, stickers, 3 dresses, 3 pant outfits, a coat, hat, gloves, and her furry bear backpack...I also ordered two toys that should be here this week...a rain stick and magnetic pattern blocks.
This week we are shopping for a car seat and shoes and signing/notarizing the final documents for our visa appointment...in between meeting with the construction crew. Our new siding and windows were supposed to be completed before school started, so they aren't on schedule, but the crew of 6 or 7 made huge progress today. We are hoping they are finished by Thursday since we think we are going to head to Alabama to see Blaise run in regionals on Friday. We know it will be more difficult to travel after she gets home, so we really want to try to see this last cross country race.
I also contacted the superintendent today to find out what options I have for taking a leave. Ideally, I will take the rest of the semester off with full pay :-) ...It might end up being 12 weeks of FMLA and the remainder unpaid, though, which will be fine.
We want to be ready to leave any time especially since I read another family's adoption blog and they got 3 days notice to travel on the second trip! I would not be able to sleep at all if we were leaving in 72 hours..
This week we are shopping for a car seat and shoes and signing/notarizing the final documents for our visa appointment...in between meeting with the construction crew. Our new siding and windows were supposed to be completed before school started, so they aren't on schedule, but the crew of 6 or 7 made huge progress today. We are hoping they are finished by Thursday since we think we are going to head to Alabama to see Blaise run in regionals on Friday. We know it will be more difficult to travel after she gets home, so we really want to try to see this last cross country race.
I also contacted the superintendent today to find out what options I have for taking a leave. Ideally, I will take the rest of the semester off with full pay :-) ...It might end up being 12 weeks of FMLA and the remainder unpaid, though, which will be fine.
We want to be ready to leave any time especially since I read another family's adoption blog and they got 3 days notice to travel on the second trip! I would not be able to sleep at all if we were leaving in 72 hours..
Tuesday, November 3, 2009
Court Success
Since Bulgaria is 8 hours ahead of us, I woke up this morning knowing that our adoption court case had already been completed and somebody knew the outcome. I checked email before school...nothing, came home at noon to check again....nothing, after school...finally a simple message from Daniel at TOL:
with SUCCESS :-)
Kay sent us a follow up email with a little bit more information...
Dear Mark and Gail, I understand that you have a new daughter! Congratulations! I am so pleased for you. We will start to get you organized to travel to bring little Miss home! Daniel will send you, if he has not already done so, the travel packet for the 2nd trip. We know that as an average, you can anticipate traveling four to six weeks after court. Until this is confirmed of course, we can not predict the actual dates so please be patient as we wait to hear from the team in BG. They have to obtain the actual court decree and then the new birth certificate: they will let us know when they are ready for you to come to them. Here is a typical schedule for the second trip.
Here is the schedule of the families in Bulgaria during their second trip:
Day 1 -- arriving in Bulgaria
Day 2 – trip to the orphanage to pick up the child
Day 3 – Submission of documents for passport. This is a new requirement. The family must do that together with the child. They all shall be accompanied by an interpreter to the police department to submit the application for passport of the child. This requirement applies to all Bulgarian citizens. The purpose is for all underage children to appear personally. The passport issuance takes 3 days.
Day 4 – visit to a clinic, licensed by the US embassy for the required medical examination
Day 5 – free time
Day 6 – receiving the passport
Day 7 – Interview at the US Embassy
(potentially an additional day here as the Embassy will not release the Visa until the next day on occasion: we will wait and see)
Day 8 – Leaving the country
Mark called from work to get the news..."Hi Daddy!" Then I started calling my side of the family--Mom and Dad, Kay and Tom, Jill and Roger. Mark will want the chance to spread the cheer, so I'll hold off a day on posting this and calling his siblings, so I don't spoil the surprise. Maybe :-) It will be fun telling the rest of the teachers tomorrow at school.
I have so many questions: Does Grace already know? When will they tell her? Can we send her something during the wait? How much notice will we have before we travel?
I am off to small group...Mark will meet me there after he finishes another 12 hour shift. Maybe we can call Kay when we get home.
with SUCCESS :-)
Kay sent us a follow up email with a little bit more information...
Dear Mark and Gail, I understand that you have a new daughter! Congratulations! I am so pleased for you. We will start to get you organized to travel to bring little Miss home! Daniel will send you, if he has not already done so, the travel packet for the 2nd trip. We know that as an average, you can anticipate traveling four to six weeks after court. Until this is confirmed of course, we can not predict the actual dates so please be patient as we wait to hear from the team in BG. They have to obtain the actual court decree and then the new birth certificate: they will let us know when they are ready for you to come to them. Here is a typical schedule for the second trip.
Here is the schedule of the families in Bulgaria during their second trip:
Day 1 -- arriving in Bulgaria
Day 2 – trip to the orphanage to pick up the child
Day 3 – Submission of documents for passport. This is a new requirement. The family must do that together with the child. They all shall be accompanied by an interpreter to the police department to submit the application for passport of the child. This requirement applies to all Bulgarian citizens. The purpose is for all underage children to appear personally. The passport issuance takes 3 days.
Day 4 – visit to a clinic, licensed by the US embassy for the required medical examination
Day 5 – free time
Day 6 – receiving the passport
Day 7 – Interview at the US Embassy
(potentially an additional day here as the Embassy will not release the Visa until the next day on occasion: we will wait and see)
Day 8 – Leaving the country
Mark called from work to get the news..."Hi Daddy!" Then I started calling my side of the family--Mom and Dad, Kay and Tom, Jill and Roger. Mark will want the chance to spread the cheer, so I'll hold off a day on posting this and calling his siblings, so I don't spoil the surprise. Maybe :-) It will be fun telling the rest of the teachers tomorrow at school.
I have so many questions: Does Grace already know? When will they tell her? Can we send her something during the wait? How much notice will we have before we travel?
I am off to small group...Mark will meet me there after he finishes another 12 hour shift. Maybe we can call Kay when we get home.
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