Where Did She Learn to Spit?

Okay, so we have been role-playing with Gracie at home to try to teach her not to hit. For instance, I will try to take her book, she will say, "No, no! This is my book." Then if I still take it she has to go tell Daddy that Mommy took her book. She thinks it is a fun game. Who would have thought that I would be teaching my child to tattle. (Something I despise in my fourth graders.) Well, today the teacher told me that some kids were spitting, and yes, sweet little Gracie was in on it...I talked to her about it when I picked her up and she admitted that a boy pushed her, she spit on him, then he spit on her. She was very proud of herself for telling the teacher that the boy pushed her...I think we need more practice.

Later at home, Gracie was "helping" Daddy build the playground when out of the blue she spit on him and started laughing hysterically. Daddy immediately put her in time out on the back step.  Oooohhh...I think she now knows not to spit on Daddy, who tends to be more lenient than Mommy. Do you think it will carry over to school?

Vince's Graduation Celebration

Congratulations were in order, and we finally found a date to get friends and family together to celebrate Vince's graduation from Indiana Wesleyan University. He finished his social work degree, and his final PE credit (Don't ask about that mix-up from an uninformed guidance counselor...) and his last class for a Theology minor. I am so glad that he is home, found a job with Head Start, and especially that he lives close by. Adam has been so excited that he decided to move home. I'm sure it is nice for them both to live with their best friend who just happens to also be their brother. God has matured him over the past 4 years, and he has truly become a man seeking after God. What a wonderful day to celebrate!

Even though it was in the 90s, we played ladder ball, watched the little ones push the bubble mower (Gracie's new gift from Aunt Jill's family), ate Italian beef sandwiches, and watched Grace splash around in the little pool. I'm glad the backyard is shady.

Family

Father's Day 2010

What do you get for someone who doesn't care about clothes, doesn't wear jewelry, has more tools and gadgets than anyone could possibly use, and buys the few things that he ever wants for himself. That was this year's Father's Day challenge. I finally decided on having Gracie make her own card, complete with a cut-out of her with her arms thrown wide saying, "I love you this much..." and a plaque that has Hebrews 11:1 "Now faith is the substance of things hoped for, the evidence of things not seen," the verse that we clung to during our long adoption journey. Gracie was so excited to give him his card and present that she tried to unwrap it for him. Can you tell how much she loves her Daddy?

We headed to Bloomington, to Cracker Barrel, for lunch with Jill and Roger's family and Mom and Dad. Grace latched onto Paige, and Mark beat everyone at checkers...

I know that Father's Day can be bittersweet for Mark who really misses his parents. Today, as my dad was making Mark feel like a son and not a son-in-law, I'm sure Mark was missing his father. I never met Mark's dad, but his mom told me once that he was a lot like Mark. I'm sure that I would have loved him, and I know that Grace's namesake, Janette, would have loved Gracie, too. She poured so much of herself into her family and welcomed the boys from the very first day they met. I also miss my grandfathers today. I am so blessed to have grown up with my extended family close by. Happy Father's Day to Dad Dunham, Grandpa Wharram, and Grandpa Swaar. We miss you all.

It says I love you thiiiiiiisssssss much!

June Fun

June has been busy...playing in the pool, Dominic's graduation party, lots of overtime hours for Daddy, a few evening hours spent on building that playground, Blaise moved home and started working at the DISC, Vince moved into the townhouse with Adam and Chris, and pre-K four mornings a week. Gracie and I have even gone to a few garage sales, and Gracie knows that everytime we go, she might get some new toys. So far, I have found her a keyboard, a Little Tykes play kitchen, and a Leapfrog "laptop" computer. But probably her favorite "toy" is the Gazelle exercise equipment that I bought for me. She uses it as a swing. I hope Daddy gets her real swings finished soon so that I can use it. You can probably tell from the picture that they aren't in a hurry to get it finished...

Hitting--The Yellow Light

The hitting didn't stop! Wednesday when I picked Grace up from the second day of summer pre-K, the teachers told me that she was having trouble "keeping her hands to herself." Eventually, they told me that not only was she touching everyone, but she and several other children were hitting. I talked to Gracie about not hitting, but since I'm not there, the teachers are going to have to enforce their rules with her. She knows that I will "make her sedni" if she hits at home, so she doesn't. I really think it will stop at school if they do the same consistently. I told them exactly that.

Well on Thursday, Gracie came home telling me that she was crying and the boy pushed her. I couldn't get a clear story, so I put her in the car and took her to school. I followed her through the corridors to the playground while she repeated urgently, "Come here, Mommy. I show you." I gathered from the way that she climbed up on the blue bench by the playground that something happened outside and that she sat on the bench crying, but that was about it.

Today, Friday, I took her to school a little early to find out what had transpired. The story was, that Grace had walked right up to a boy on the playground and hit him in the middle of the back for no reason, while the boy was talking to the teacher. Way to be sneaky and subtle, Gracie! Obviously, this was not a provoked reaction. She planned retaliation. She says the boy pushed her, but who knows? the teacher put her on the bench in time out, and Gracie started crying, "No sedni, I want my Mommy!" (Okay, I thought the Mommy part was awesome.) It gets worse. After a couple of minutes, they noticed that she was playing with the kids on the playground again. She had gotten up and ignored their time out. The teacher put her back on the bench again, and she was even more unhappy, crying and saying that she wanted to go play.

On Friday, two children tattled that Gracie had hit them, but since the teacher didn't see her either time, they didn't give her a time-out. But the biggest surprise came when I went through the papers in her backpack and found her behavior chart. The teachers gave her a red reward ribbon and a smile for her behavior every day this week. When I questioned it, they said, "Well, she wasn't any worse than the rest of them." It must have been a rough week!

Grace has been exhausted at noon each day, which I'm sure doesn't help her behavior at school. She is fussy at lunchtime, putting her thumb in her mouth at the table, and has been sleeping about 3 hours every afternoon. She threw two more tantrums this week between the time that I picked her up from school and her nap that starts around 1:30. Grace says that she likes school and seems anxious to go every day, but I think the whole process of separation from me and the routine/expectation changes are weighing heavy on her. Even though I am seeing some changes academically--she can write the first four letters of her name and is recognizing more letters every day--I'm already convinced that pre-K is a better placement for her than kindergarten for next year. I don't think she can physically handle the strenuousness of the kindergarten schedule. And life is much better when she is rested! Even if she is ready for kindergarten, I don't think I'm ready.

Finishing my homework...Notice that I am writing the letter "M" and coloring in the lines!

Swimming Lessons

After going to her first day of school, Gracie started swimming lessons today at the YMCA, too. She was the only child who showed up for the 3-5 year old Eels class. After describing her comfort with being in the water, the staff had recommended this class, which is the most advanced pre-school class offered by the Y. Being the only child for the first class was wonderful, since Miss Bridget got to work with Grace all by herself. I was sort of glad to see that after being very comfortable in the water with Mommy and Daddy, that she clung to Miss Bridget's neck and was not nearly as confident with her. Of course, that defeats the whole idea of swimming lessons, since she isn't learning to swim while she is clinging to the instructor. By the end of the class, she had relaxed and was putting her head under the water and jumping in. She doesn't get the idea of the flotation devices, though, and did not want to hold onto that board for any reason. The whole time Grace was in the water, I kept wondering if this was too early to try to push her to trust another adult in this way, but it was nice that we got to sit right next to the water to see her float on her back while holding the board to her chest and while she was swimming and kicking her feet. Grace loved the 84 degree water and the shallow pool depth at the Y, but she still shivered when she had to sit on the edge. At the end of the class, she even jumped through the sprinkler fountains and was begging to go back to swimming lessons again. What a day of firsts...school and swimming lessons. Mommy needs an early bedtime.

First Day of Pre-K

After reassuring Gracie that her teacher was not going to be a bird, she seemed anxious for today, except when I woke her up at 7:00 a.m. She usually sleeps until about 9:00, so she was pretty groggy. I finally got her to eat a few bites of Rice Krispies and half of a Kid Essentials milk, before she climbed into the van. She has decided that she doesn't need any help to open her van door, climb into the car seat, and buckle the harness, so she did everything independently this morning, too. When she got to the door of the classroom, we waited in line as the children and parents filed in. She held my hand and smiled when Mrs. Born said, "Hello, Gracie!" I could tell she was nervous, because she didn't argue at all about staying with me, and she finally held her arms up for me to hold her.

The first task was to choose the drink for their break, and the whole process baffled her. She had to find a stick with her name on it; decide white, chocolate, or juice; and put the stick into the appropriate container. She has never seen a small carton of milk or had orange drink, so that made the task even more difficult, since the containers were unfamiliar. After picking up Gage's stick (since it started with a G), she found hers, but didn't understand what to do with it even after Mrs. Born told her three times. I finally said, "Do you want to drink some milk at school today?" and she shook her head, so I helped her get the stick into the correct jar for white milk. Then I walked her to the seat that had her name in front of it. When I gave her a hug to leave, I reminded her that I would be working on the computer at the school and would pick her up at the door to go to lunch. She said, "You're my Mommy, not everybody's! Aste obichem." Then when I got to the door, she got up from her chair and ran to give me another hug. I told her I would stay at school and wait for her, and she went back to her seat.

Later, while I was organizing my school files in the computer lab, I saw her walk to the cafeteria with her class. She was in the back of the line by Mrs. Beck, and was holding her hand as she walked. When she saw me she said, "There is my Mommy!" but she kept on walking after I waved to her.

Mrs. Hanson told me when I picked her up that she did fine. In fact, she was glad to see that Gracie stood up for herself. Apparently somebody pushed her and she hit him back. I didn't think this was a good thing, though. We have been working to curtail the hitting, which seems to be an automatic reflex at times, but I thought we had eliminated the behavior since she hasn't hit us for weeks. I think being around all of the kids again brought back some old behaviors from the orphanaage. (We watched her defend her toy bucket.) I told Mrs. Hanson to watch for that and use time out if needed. I hope they nip it in the bud!

I went to summer pre-K today!