Saturday, August 29, 2009

One Month and Waiting

Everything went as planned and the new physicals are notarized and apostilled. I checked them over carefully before walking out of the Index Department in Springfield. We also got an email from TOL assuring us that the 17c had been corrected and explaining that misspelling is a problem when documents are translated in Bulgaria. We are supposed to be receiving a "Placement Agreement" that is needed to meet Hague requirements soon which should be the next step and sometime we have to submit the I-600 to DCFS and the Department of Homeland Security in the US...we just don't know whether that happens before or after court. I hope Daniel and Kay (coordinators with our agency) aren't easily annoyed with all of our questions...I sent another email today to find out what happens next.

It has been a month now and I can't remember what it feels like to pick Gracie up. I keep watching the videos and looking at the pictures, but she seems really far away. This trip really changed my perspective. Before we went to Bulgaria, I was really worried about her health, but it is funny how watching her run with her elbows out and climb up the slide changed how I feel. Now I wonder how she will transition...I imagine that she will be excited for a few weeks like I feel when I go on vacation...everything will be new, interesting and distracting. Hotels, restaurants, the grocery store, taxi rides, two airplanes, toys, a new home, family...but after a while she will probably just want to go back "home" to the familiarity of the orphanage. She has been blessed to be in one place (besides the hospital) since she was 8 months old...She knows the children, the "aunties," her bed, the food, sounds, and daily schedule. Everyday has been like every other for her. The orphanage is her home. I'm sure she will long for her little bed, the sound of her best friend, Emanwewe, speaking a language she understands, the playground, and the comfort of knowing from experience that her needs will be met. I can't even imagine how hard it will be for her to suddenly be thrust into a world where no one understands her simplest wishes. She is too young to grasp the long term benefits of adoption and all she will know is the immediate reality of being powerlessly swept away by strangers.

I hope someone is explaining "family" to her and looking at the picture album that we left. Maybe she will grow to "know" us by seeing our faces with hers. Hopefully, since Emanwewe is being adopted by her Bulgarian parents, Gracie will come to understand that she will be leaving with her mommy and daddy, too. I pray that God is preparing her heart to join our family and taking away her fears during this time.

I hated the idea of taking two trips during the Bulgarian adoption process, but now I think it actually has given us time we all needed. Time to really consider Gracie as a person, instead of just a vague idea. Time to prepare for a huge life change. Time to appreciate the tremendous gift we are being given. Thank you God for always being right on time.

1 comment:

  1. Gail, YOu really should write a book about this experience. You could turn your blog into an uplifting journal the world could see. Show others attempting to adopt that you understand what they're going through and that your story might be encouraging to someone trying to decide whether to adopt or not.

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