Dr. Scherer and Riley Children's Hospital

After driving to Indy last night, we were still 5 minutes late for our appointment at Riley Children's Hospital. Even though we were told twice that we would receive a packet in the mail, we did not get any information and we didn't realize that there are no signs for Riley, rather UPCUI, or something like that...After stopping twice for directions and avoiding the road construction, we finally parked in a nearby parking garage, cut through a construction area where I was scolded for walking too close to an orange cone, and found the desk to check in.

A very nervous medical student examined Grace first and then consulted with Dr. Scherer. Apparently, he is not an orthopedic surgeon, which was what our doctor's office told us. He is a pediatric surgeon who actually performs the corrective procedures for her chest abnormality. We still need to be referred to an orthopedic surgeon who will have to collaborate with Dr. Scherer in the future. He asked us if she was born with this abnormality, which we had never before considered. We had assumed she always had it. Apparently, he thinks it may have been caused by her handling as a preemie. She is too young to try any corrective procedures, but he said that in about 2 years, when she can understand and "buy into" wearing a brace, he will try to put her in an apparatus to push the protrusion on her left side inward. The right side is concave slightly, but he anticipates that the brace may help to correct both sides. If not she will need surgery to correct it around age 10. The surgeon also noticed scoliosis in her spine between her shoulder blades which will need to be examined and monitored by a pediatric orthopedist. If the scoliosis progresses and requires intervention, the chest abnormality would need to be addressed first, so we will probably see another specialist at Riley to facilitate collaboration between the two doctors. The doctor also asked if she had ever had an echocardiogram to check her heart function since the scoliosis, hyperflexibility, chest abnormality, and mention of "low connective tissue values" in her chart could all be part of a rare syndrome that would show up as enlargement of her heart valves and tissues. When we told him no, he scheduled one before we left the center. Mark loved watching the technician and Grace got to hear the way that her heart sounded as the blood rushed through it. Even though the doctor was supposed to call us with the results, the secretary handed them to us as we left because everything was normal. What a relief!

It is amazing how Grace impacts people wherever she goes. The sonographer took Grace in to the office to meet the staff who gave her a puzzle to take home. Then she saw a boy in a fancy new electric wheelchair in the waiting room and stopped to talk to him. She asked him if it went fast, if he had a license so he could drive, and if she could drive it when she was a big girl. Her fascination as she touched the wheels and walked around the shiny, black chair brought a smile to the teenage boy's face. He was so proud to talk to her about his new chair, and she gave him a fist bump when he held out his curled hand to leave. She has such a joyous loving heart

We originally planned to hit the Children's Museum today and the Zoo tomorrow, but Mark and Gracie were really exhausted, so instead we went back to the hotel for a swim and a short nap. Grace loves being in the water even when it is rather cold, and she went under the water over and over while she shivered and squealed.

Right when we were getting ready to meet Vince for supper, he called to tell us that one of his friends had been rushed to the hospital and had asked for him to go. We sent him on his way and headed the hour to Marion. Apparently, his friend had a concussion but was being released, so he was able to meet us later on for supper. Grace was so glad to meet him and some of his friends. She really missed her brother, and I think he liked seeing her, too.  It is hard to believe that he will graduate in only a couple of months and will enter the world of working. He will start working for the Early Head Start program in Decatur in June as a 0-3 yr. old teacher. He will be wonderful, after he figures out how to change those diapers...

The new IWU chapel!

 

A Shivery Shower

After planting the flowers and garden plants today, we got out the new sprinkler attachment that Gracie brought home from the man at the Farmer's Market. It's a good thing that it was in the 80's today, because the shower of water was just too tempting to put just on the flowers. Gracie held the hose over her own head, hid behind Daddy while Mommy chased her, and squealed with delight. Soaked and shivering, she headed in for a warm bath and kept announcing, "Gracie silly. Take a shower with mine clothes on...he, he, he...."

Bonding Breakthrough

Most people who know us have been great about respecting our "no holding or feeding" rule for Gracie, but strangers just think it is fine to pick up a friendly child without giving it a thought. It doesn't offend me, because I might have done the same thing only a few months ago without even thinking about it, but we try to intervene immediately as soon as someone picks her up who isn't family. Today Gracie gave a different, and more healthy, reaction to being held by a stranger than we have seen in the past. It gave me hope that her friendliness is just part of her charming, outgoing personality, not a sign of indiscriminate attachment.

We went to the Farmer's Market and since only a few people were there, Gracie was looking around in the aisles near us and telling us all of the flower colors..."Look, yellow flowers.  Mommy Daddy yellow!" She noticed one other family with two children, walked up to them and said, "I'm with mine Mommy and Daddy. No mine Mommy and Daddy," and shook her head. Then she noticed a man in a large brimmed hat, Phil, watering the flowers with a shower-like hose and walked over to watch him. He talked to her and even gave her a little spray nozzle to take home. After chatting for a few minutes, Grace started telling him that she wanted to spray the water, and he reached down and picked her up in his arm. Usually, Grace would just keep on talking and try to get even more attention, but not today. She immediately looked around for me, wiggled to face away from him, and stuck her thumb in her mouth. She was very uncomfortable. I walked a few steps over to where they were standing, and she instantly reached out for me to take her away from him. She spent the next 5 minutes sucking her thumb with her head snubbled against my shoulder while I held her and talked to her. I wish I knew what she was thinking...I know for sure, though, that she felt uncomfortable with a stranger and knew that Mommy would make her feel safe. She stayed really close to us for the rest of the time.

I know it probably sounds a little selfish to be happy that she was uncomfortable, but it is so important for her to understand that she can't trust everyone in the world. By recognizing that this man was unfamiliar, she was acknowledging that I am familiar...I think that is what bonding is all about--realizing where you belong and who you can count on. Looking back at our trip home from Bulgaria, when she tried to get every other mother in the airport to pick her up, she has made amazing progress.

Blaise, Puddles, and Big Beds

Grace is a great little traveler...As long as we stop at least once every 2 hours, she doesn't even complain. On the way to Oxford, Mississippi she built a house out of small legos (her first attempt with the tiny little blocks), covered two pieces of paper with stickers that she put into rows, looked at a couple of books, sang along with her English and Bulgarian CD's, laced up two sewing cards, and snacked. She was so excited to see Blaise that she kept telling us that she was going to see Blaise running today.

Since it was so hot and sunny, we stopped at Walmart and found a cute pink and blue sun hat to take with us and covered Grace with some SPF 55 sunscreen. She loves to imitate sounds, so we kept hearing all day that she wanted to "Pskkksssskkk..." as she pretended to spray sunscreen on herself. She was so happy to see Blaise, but she really didn't care much about watching him run the 1500 meters or the 4 x 400. She wanted him to take her to see the bus he rode on and wanted to run with him. She was especially curious about the bus after Blaise told her that he didn't drive the bus, George did. Of course, her mouth dropped open and she laughed. "George no drive the bus. Too little. No keys." She thought George was Curious George her favorite little monkey.

Later in the day, we watched as Blaise carried her away toward the woods and the bus. We realized that as she walked away with him so nonchalantly that this was the first time that anyone had taken her somewhere without us. Mark and I both realized it at about the same time and he said, "I'm not so sure that I like it." He watched and watched for her to come back and was thrilled when she ran up to tell him all about Blaise's bus that didn't have any seatbelts.

The bus wasn't really the highlight of the day, though. Gracie loved the puddle and boys splashing. This track has the steeple pit on the outside of the regular track area and the pit overflowed onto the sidewalk to make a relatively clean little puddle across the sidewalk. At first, Grace was afraid to even walk through it, but then she discovered she could stomp, kick the water to get people wet, and run back and forth. Blaise even picked her up and told her he was going to put her head in the puddle, which just tickled her. She liked the puddle even more after watching the steeplechasers splashing through the pit. By 8:30 when the meet was over, her shoes and socks were still soaked.

We packed the entire toddler bed in the back of the van again, but Grace wanted to sleep in the big bed on the second night, so we put the chair backs along one side and a row of pillows on the other. Except for waking up with her head at the foot of the bed, she did great, and she thought she was a really big girl for sleeping in the big bed next to Mommy and Daddy. I guess we won't have to pack the toddler bed anymore...

Bossy Bessy

It certainly doesn't take children long to learn the concept of ownership..."My" and "mine" are the most frequent words out of Grace's mouth right now. She opens her closet looks at all of the clothes and tells us, "Mine clothes, not Mommy Daddy's," she worries about "my playground" getting wet in the rain, and she tells us "Mine. I'll do it" and "I do it by myself" all day long. Her newest accomplishments are that she can open the sliding door on the van, push the door back until it latches open, get into her carseat alone, and fasten the 5-point harness. Now we have to allow an extra 5 minutes to get everywhere we go if we don't want to here the grumbling baby sounds from the back seat. She also gets more frustrated with her inability to take care of all of her needs independently. She can climb on the toilet in Mommy's bathroom without having her shoes on, but she gets aggravated at bedtime when she is not quite tall enough in her slipper feet. She doesn't like her sippy cup, because she can't get the lid off by herself to get water from the refrigerator door. Grace changes where she wants to sit at the table daily, wants to hold her own hairdryer, and continues to tell us that she wants to drive the car (which is already a frightening thought)! She wants to have her picture on a license, too, and loves to look at ours. To try to reduce her annoyed grumbling and encourage her to talk, Mark and I try not to respond until she asks nicely. Sometimes to remind her we will say, "Hmmm, Daddy, do you hear a baby crying?" and we will look around for one. Grace always smiles and asks for what she wants in response. Then she tells us, "No, aaaaaaauuuuhhhh! No baby." I can tell she is feeling more comfortable with us, because she is not as concerned about keeping us happy all the time. She is strong-willed and opinionated. Mark says she fits just perfectly into our family.

Last week, she really seems to have learned most of her colors by association. She tells us, "Like a schoolbus...It's yellow" and "Stop, dogs, stop. The light is RED now...It's red." She knows that "the grass is green and the sky is blue," Daddy's truck is purple, snow is white, and George is brown. Now she watches the traffic lights while we are driving and tells us whether we can go or stop. "Stop, Daddy, the light is red now!" which will be cute for another week or so...

She saw hail and petted a dog for the first time with Daddy, too. She didn't like thunder, but Daddy took her out to the screened porch and made a game out of laughing at the loud noises and she was fine. She was amazed at how cold the chunks of ice were in her hands and told Adam about the ice in the grass. After finally touching the tail end of our neighbors miniature schnauzer she now announces how much she likes "little doggies." She loves watching dogs, but still frets about them biting her fingers and getting into our fenced yard. We saw some packs of large dogs in Bulgaria and were warned to stay away from them, so I'm guessing that the children were taught to be afraid. She also has been talking about "tigers" and "bugs" lately. She tells me to "shut the door big" to her room so the bugs can't get in, and she says "the tigers are coming" when it is dark. I don't want to give credence to her fears, so I always just laugh and say, "There aren't any tigers in here...Mommy wouldn't let any tigers in the house" and tickle her. That's usually all she needs.

Grace models everything I do, but prefers Daddy if he is around. Every morning when I open the blinds to get Miss Sleepy Head awake she asks, "Where's Daddy?" and when I usually say that he is at work her response is always that "Daddy works all the time." As soon as he walks into the door in the afternoon, she is attached to his hip and he doesn't mind it a bit. They get the mail, pick up sticks, pretend to drive the car, and fix (imaginary and real) things with the screwdriver. It is so sweet to watch him interacting with her that I find that I continue to fall in love with him in new ways everyday. He was a great dad to Adam, Blaise, and Vince, but he is so relaxed and protective with Gracie. He really is a wonderful father, and I love him more every day.

I'm 49!

I can't really explain why, but I've never really liked celebrating birthdays--not just my own, but any birthdays. I can remember dreading birthdays as far back as age 16. Okay, so I don't like change too much. The boys will tell you that they had only a few birthday parties that included more than extended family during their lives because that was what I was used to from my childhood and somehow a houseful of kids, decorations, treat bags, and games just didn't seem like an enjoyable way for anyone to spend an afternoon. Especially since I am around crowds of children all day long as a teacher. So, it was humerous this year that the boys gave me my favorite flowers, lilies, and Adam gave me trendy clothes the day before my birthday "just because he wanted to." Not for my birthday or anything.

Mark and Grace, however, marked the day with dinner out and a Precious Moments figurine called Mommy and Me. It features a little girl holding a drawing of herself holding hands with her mommy. It was darling, but not as memorable even as the card from Grace. Mark had Grace record her voice yelling, "I love you, Mommy. As te obichem" into the card, so that when I opened it I heard her sweet voice. I loved it, but Grace was so excited about it that she opened it for me and played it again and again. I'll never forget the expression on her face as she jumped around with excitement. Grace so often reminds me how wonderful and amazing life is and how thankful we should be for the little things that God gives us every day, even birthdays...

Easter Sunday

I was in charge of getting Grace ready for church today because Mark was singing on Praise Team. She was so exhausted from yesterday that I literally had to pick her up out of bed and carry her to the bathroom. She looked so cute for church even though the tights I bought were way too big and I kept pulling them up so they didn't look like granny socks. We went upstairs to the new video venue for service since Mark was singing there for second service and Grace swayed to the music and did everything Daddy did during service including raising her hands and closing her eyes. My heart and my eyes overflowed this morning as I watched her trying to be just like Daddy. I have been truly blessed.

Larry and Terri joined us for burgers and hot dogs on the grill, played with the ball in the backyard, and even watched Grace hunt for Easter eggs in the front yard. Tonight she learned to drop the ball and kick it, so we keep hearing her narrate with, "Drop...kick!" During this egg hunt however, the absolute favorite gift was a plastic bucket and sand toys that she claimed as "mine" immediately. In fact she dug up the mulch in the front yard for about 20 minutes without making a sound. I kept wondering what she was thinking the whole time. Did she remember, as I did, the yellow bucket and shovel from Bulgaria? Did she miss the other children and "aunties" who were her family for 5 years? Was she thinking..."Wow, I wish they had sand here instead of these wood chips? We really need to get her some sand.

Grandma and Grandpa's Easter

Thanks to Aunt Terri, Grace knew all about Peter Cottontail as portrayed in her musical book, and she understood about dying eggs from the "Dry Hair" epidsode of Curious George. So, when we mentioned coloring Easter eggs while Grandma was finishing the ham and potatoes for lunch, Grace new exactly what to do. Except for one dropped on the floor and a few splashes as she plunked the eggs into the vinegar water, we ended up with a couple dozen beautiful eggs. All of Grace's eggs were solid colors, with purple as her favorite, but Adam and Grandpa pulled out the waxy crayons and rubber bands for original custom designs. Grandpa even made a special Bulgarian egg that had red, white, and green stripes to represent the Bulgarian flag.

When we were stuffed with ham, cheesy potatoes, green beans, strawberry layered jello, pie, and olives (Grace loves the black olives just like Mommy and ate at least 10....) the back yard was filled with goodies from the Easter Bunny. Grace, Adam, and Andy headed out for the traditional hunt while cameras clicked and Grandma Wharram watched from the patio chair. Adam and Andy were unusually civilized with no diving, tackling, or bag snatching (which have at one time or another been part of hunts with the three brothers). Grace thought the Little Kitty socks that were hung on the trees were silly, passed up most of the candy and put the eggs, juice boxes, and chocolate bunnies into her big Easter basket just like she had seen in her book at home. Joy filled her eyes when she saw the best gift of all, the rubber alphabet ball, on the patio. So we had to hold it for her just so she would finish hunting.

We really missed seeing Uncle Roger, Aunt Jill, Paige, and Mark, but it was still a wonderful Easter with my side of the family. Every year I wonder if it will be the last one with Grandma Wharram, who is 99, so seeing her sitting at the window watching Grace kick and throw the ball was priceless. She was really confused for much of the day, couldn't understand why I was sitting by another man (Adam) during dinner instead of next to my husband, and was worried that people were going to leave her alone, but she enjoyed watching "the little girl" so much and even held her on her lap. Grace reciprocated with absolutely no reservation, too. It was as if the oldest and youngest members of the family had know each other all along and loved each other instantly. Grandma enjoyed Grace's boundless energy and Grace marveled at Grandma's walker and wanted to help her. Perhaps with Grandma's dementia, she is also a 5 year old in many ways...

Spring is Here!

We have really loved this warm weather...I have been trying for 3 days to paint a small storage shed, with Grace's "help." I even got her a tiny roller and paint tray to use. We have been outside blowing bubbles, digging in the garden, and playing on the slide we moved outdoors. We even went to a garage sale and found a couple of pairs of shorts for fifty cents for her to wear while she is painting. It is odd that we don't have any "old" clothes since she has been here such a short time.

Today we went to Scovill Playground again and Grace gets more daring every time. She goes up the climbing wall and the metal ladders alone and loves the big slides. Today she went down one of the tall slides head first, but mom isn't ready for that yet...She loves to swing and says, "Swing too high" which actually means that she wants me to push her higher. The biggest thrill today, though, was that Brooke from Baby Talk and Hannah both were at the playground too. It was so cute watching Grace grab their hands and shriek with delight that she had a friend to play with.

The biggest news for today was that Grace was dry all night, though. I heard her rocking in her bed around 2:00 am and went to her room. She immediately told me, "Potty, potty" so I took her to the bathroom. This morning she woke up around 8:30. It won't be long...

Right now, Blaise is heading to Gainesville, Florida for the Florida Relays. Only 8 members of his team had fast enough times to qualify. The edema on his leg, from a Spring Break injury, has finally healed and he is feeling good again. I am so hopeful that he will have a great weekend. Perhaps if he listens really carefully he will hear me yelling, "Go Blaise" all the way from Illinois.

Vince just was home for a couple of days to interview for a teacher's position with Early Head Start in Decatur. They even called him in for a second interview the same day, so we are really hopeful that he will get the job. They told him that he was the only man to apply out of hundreds of applicants which makes him memorable and unique (as well as sweet, caring, and dedicated). He is currently interning with Head Start in Marion, IN so that helps, but he has had almost no experience with 0-3 year olds which are the focus of this new program. I would have loved to hear his response when they asked him how he felt about changing diapers...He should know something in the next couple of weeks.

Adam and Vince have been looking at houses to buy with a realtor, but I think that they are now leaning toward renting for a while. If Vince gets a job, they are hoping to live together in Decatur which would be a terrific setup for both. It is hard for Adam to live with too many people, because getting sleep on a swing shift requires some extra consideration. They hate the idea of paying rent and would love to have some handy-man work to do, but they have so much uncertainty right now about jobs and their futures that it is making it difficult to decide on a home. They also can't stand the idea of being too far away from Grace. They love her so much and don't want to miss out on being big brothers. It is hard to believe that Vince will graduate in only a month! Time does fly by...

Pieces of the Puzzle

Grace has really enjoyed looking through the photo album from our trip to Bulgaria, and the pictures we took of her with her friend Emanwewe are her favorites. She tells about blowing bubbles with Emanwewe, Mommy, and Daddy in Bulgaria, and has started to make other comments about her "before" experiences. Today she told me, "Emanwewe said, bye, bye, Gracie. Gracie crying. Emanwewe all gone. Leelee pick up Gracie crying." She made a sad face and wiped a tear as it rolled down her cheek. I picked her up and asked her if Emanwewe was sad when she said goodbye, but Gracie told me, "Emanwewe no sad. Gracie sad." We talked for a while and I realized that this beautiful friend of hers was much more than just one of her orphanage buddies. Emanwewe was one of her caretakers. Grace told me that Emanwewe, who was 6 and obviously older than the other children, sat with her at her table for meals, helped her put on her pajamas, and took a bath with her. When I asked what they ate, she told me, "Hliab and chai" which is Bulgarian for bread and tea. She also went to the kitchen utensil drawer, took out a spoon and but it in my hand. Then she put her mouth on it like she was taking a bite. She said, "Emanwewe cut food. Help me eat." It is sometimes hard to figure out what she means but I gathered that the auntie, Leelee, who she frequently talks about helped her eat her meals after Emanwewe was adopted by a Bulgarian family.

We saw Emanwewe care for her some during our visit, but I had thought she was just a sweet natured little girl who felt sorry for tiny little Grace. One time Emanwewe grabbed her around the waist and put her up on a bench. Another time, she helped her get a tricycle to ride. Grace even showed us that the picture that we left with her was taped to the wall behind Emanwewe's bed, since Grace's bed was by the window curtains. Grace would have been able to see it when she layed down to sleep. Grace understands that Emanwewe has a mommy and daddy now, too, but she really wants to go see her and play in the sand. I so wish that we had met her adoptive family so that the girls could stay in touch. As an orphan, Grace really doesn't understand family relationships, so she thinks our names are Mommy and Daddy. I wonder if she thought she would get to see Emanwewe when we picked her up?

Grace loves to go around the house now to tell us what belongs to her. Ownership is a wonderful new concept she enjoys. She opens her closet and says, "Mine clothes, not Mommy and Daddy" and shakes her head. She does the same with her toybox, books, socks, shoes, and crayons. I asked her if she had crayons in Bulgaria and she told me, "No." I figured out that she watched Mickie Mouse and Tom and Jerry on TV, but she said she had a swing when I tried to talk about toys. She also told me that she had clothes, shoes, and a bed in Bulgaria. And she told me, "Gracie Emanwewe sharing bucket and shovel." I wonder if Grace was part of the reason that Emanwewe had not moved to the older orphanage for 4-7 year olds? Would the orphanage director pass along a letter to Emanwewe's parents for us? I would so love to be able to send photos back and forth over the years. Gracie told me several times today, "Go see Emanwewe, tomorrow." I wish that I hadn't had to try to explain that we couldn't go tomorrow, but maybe some day. Mark and I always thought we would take Grace to visit Bulgaria when she was around 10 years old, but I think it might be nice to go back sooner when there is more of a chance that some of her favorite caregivers may still be at the orphanage. I know she needs to be bonded with us and old enough to understand, but summer 2012 sounds good...now to convince Daddy...                   :-)

"Thank you for being my friend."

I've Been Home 3 Months!

It doesn't seem possible that Grace has been her 3 months. In some ways, it seems like she has been with us forever, and in other ways, I am just getting to know her. She has changed so much since the first days when we picked her up and she seemed like such a baby. Here are a few highlights:

1. Grace still loves to announce to the world with pride her bathroom adventures. Strangers often will be told about the little toilet in the family bathroom at Kmart or that she went "aka" all by herself and washed her hands. In the past few weeks, though, she has stopped requiring an audience to go potty. She goes by herself now and then announces to us, "Gracie went potty all by herself!" We also have stopped catering to her bathroom whims like we did when we were transitioning her from the orphanage diapers to big girl underwear. Now, she goes to the bathroom before meals and we don't let her get down during the meals to go again. We finally figured out that it wasn't that she needed to go, but rather, she wanted to be the center of attention and the bathroom always made us focus on her.
2. She doesn't speak in Bulgarian anymore except to say these words: As te obichem, leka noshte, aka, tate, mama." In fact, this week she seemed to actually realize that everything has two names. If we said, "Voda." She would light up with enthusiasm at the Bulgarian word for water and point to her cup, but she can't even tell us the Bulgarian names for things anymore. Just like she understood English before she cold speak it, she has lost her speaking vocabulary in Bulgarian but still understands it. I wish we had taken more videos of her speaking Bulgarian when she was first home. We kept trying to catch her in one of her speeches when she would ramble on for several minutes as if the person understood, but the minute the camera went on, she was done. She still loves listening to the Bulgarian song CD, and she sings the words to some of the songs, but that is the only time we hear her really speak Bulgarian anymore. I was really anxious for her to be able to communicate better with us, but now I miss hearing it. She still has the cutest Bulgarian accent, though.
3. Grace surprises us with her vocabulary everyday. Verbs and pronouns are being used occasionally now and she relays stories adding new words faster than we can keep up. Today she told Adam and Daddy about the trolley that she saw and explained that it was taking the kids home. She asks, "What's that?" and "Where's ____?" all the time, too, even when she knows the answer. I have been turning it around and asking her questions lately, and she has come up with interesting answers. When I asked her "Where's Daddy's truck?" in response to her query she said, "Behind Daddy's car." So I asked, "Where's Daddy's car?" and she said, "Behind the garage." So I asked about Adam's car and was informed that it was behind Daddy's truck. So, she knew exactly where each of them parks everyday in the driveway. She also knows the names of some of the letters and associates them with people's names. So the J is for Aunt Jill, the P is for Paige, the L is for Uncle "Lally", etc. and she can pick them out everytime she notices them on signs, cereal boxes, or in books. Grace hasn't figured out colors yet. She knows Daddy's truck is purple, the grass is green, and school busses are yellow, but she just can't figure out all of the shades and variations.
4. Grace is particular about her clothes and has her definite favorites: jeans with a belt, dresses with tights, and her Minnie Mouse pajamas. We still can't seem to keep most jeans up, even with a belt, but she doesn't seem to mind tugging on them all day so she can dress like Mommy. She also loves pockets and puts little pads of sticky notes and her chapstick in her pockets to carry around.
5. Grace prefers being outdoors all the time and does anything she can think of to delay coming into the house. During this nice weather, she has been trying to befriend the squirrels in our tree. The minute she sees one, she runs over to him and announces, "Hi, Mr. Squirrel, I'm five!" while the poor squirrel is scurrying to safety and she is running around the tree saying, "Hey, Mr. Squirrel, come here!" She also looks through her picture books from Bulgaria and tells Daddy that she wants to go play in the sand. Yes, we have been looking at swingsets and sand boxes.
6. Grace eats very slowly...We wonder if that is part of the reason that she is so small. She loves to talk during meals, gets tired of feeding herself, and wants us to shovel it in for her. She eats a lot if you feed her to finish up, and we have been doing that about half the time just to get her a few extra calories. She also likes the toddler Ensure type drinks and we add that to her daily snack to be sure she gets plenty of vitamins. I'm hoping she learns to eat more quickly before she starts preschool, or she will eat only a few bites for lunch everyday.
7. At night, Grace rocks with Daddy or I before bed, but she only falls asleep in our arms about 3/4 of the time. We have figured out that she will fall asleep without self-soothing (rocking behavior) if we hold her until she is very relaxed. Nearly everynight around 2:00 a.m. she rouses again and we can hear her thrashing around and whining in her bed. If I go in to see her she tells me in a panicked voice, "Potty, potty!" so I rush her into the bathroom. She really is wanting to stay dry at night, but even with the 2:00 a.m. trip to the bathroom she is soaked by morning. I don't think her little bladder can handle sleeping through the night even though she really wants to stay dry, and she wants to drink a small bottle of water right before bed every night.
8. Grace has always liked buttons, computers, and phones so she really likes that Mommy has found a few games for her to play on the computer. She especially likes the alphabet game that says the names of the letters and shows animals for each sound. She tells me, "Don't touch...Gracie computer" and I have to remind her that it is Daddy's computer, which she doesn't like at all.
9. The highlight of most of her weeks is Baby Talk. When we first started attending every Thursday and the lapsits on alternate Fridays, Grace fit in very well developmentally with the 0-3 year olds in attendance, but the last couple of weeks have been different. She is one of the few who will sit during the story time. She will answer requests for songs to sing, and she loves to help Miss Susan pick up shakers and toys. Her favorite toys are these little waffle blocks which she is getting better about sharing. At first she would push the littler children away from "her" toys, but I haven't seen that for a while. Grace likes to be on stage and stands next to Miss Susan sometimes as her little sidekick during her favorite songs, The Wheels on the Bus, Hurry Hurry Drive the Firetruck, I'm a Little Popcorn, and The Shaker Song. She likes shakers so much that we made our own out of plastic Easter Eggs at home. When it is time to color and glue at Lapsits, she really lacks the fine motor skills of many of the 3 year olds, and has a hard time drawing anything but circles. It is amazing how much she has learned in just a few weeks, though, and going to Baby Talk gives me a chance to sit back and really notice her weekly progress. Grace is such a little socialite, that I think she is going to love going to preschool in August, and hopefully she won't be so stressed by the Kindergarten expectations the following year.
10. Anytime that Mark and I are hugging and sometimes just for fun, Grace runs up to us and puts her hand up for her ritual group hug. She puts one arm aroung each of our necks and pulls our faces tight against hers while we all sing the song that she made up, I love you. As te obichem over and over before she showers us with kisses. It melts my heart.

Well, Grace...Happy 3 months home! I hope that you someday will know how blessed we are to have you with us and how thankful we are that God took care of you while we were searching to find you. You have such a wonderful, loving, gentle spirit that amazes us every day.

More Shots

I didn't tell Grace until after breakfast that we were headed to the nurse today. Mark and I decided that it would be best if she didn't associate trips to the doctor with pain, so we always see the nurse for shots. Last time, she didn't understand at all what was coming, but today, she immediately started to fret as we got into the car. I told her that Hannah and KJ had gotten shots, and that all of the kids get shots so they can go to school which helped her to calm a little bit. I guess everybody loves company when they are facing pain. It is always hard to know whether it is better to just spring the shots on the children or prepare them so they know that you will tell them the truth.

Her usual friendly demeanor was really subdued, and she didn't even want to talk to the three nurses who greeted us. Her reluctance turned into whining as soon as I sat her on the table. I can really tell that she is feeling more comfortable with us because today she cried out loud with those big tears during the 2 shots. The magic of stickers and going to Baby Talk turned her right around, but she wanted Mommy to carry her to the car now as soon as the vaccinations were finished.

Later we shopped for a couple of summer outfits at Kohl's. It took a while to figure out that she needs a size 2T shirt and size 12 month shorts, though. I could not find any larger pants that would stay up, so one of the pairs of shorts was supposed to be capri length, but they just go to her knees. Because she has worn so many layers in the winter, it has been easy to dress her so that her chest difference isn't very noticeable. Summer will be a different story, so I looked for some shirts with gathers, a yoke, or ruffles. We could care less, but it would be nice if we could provide her with a little camouflage so that strangers don't make her feel uncomfortable. Right now, she knows that she is beautiful and loves to look at herself in the mirror, especially the tri-fold where she can see 7 Gracies. I just don't want anyone else suggesting otherwise or making her feel self-conscious. (There will be plenty of time for that reality in junior high school.) Her brothers have all said that they will be watching out for her, and that they don't want to ever hear that someone is teasing her. She is going to have a bunch of big protectors looking out for her well-being.

She whined all afternoon, walked with her left leg straight, wimpered to be picked up, and fell asleep sitting on Daddy's lap at 7:30 p.m. after pizza (her request) and a dose of Children's Motrin. I'm sure I will be chided by her brothers for indulging her complaining...I think with them I usually said something like, "Oh, you're not bleeding. It's fine. Go play." I told Mark that we are going to have to toughen up soon. She really loves having "owies" and all the mileage she gets out of going down Poor-Me Road. She doesn't even seem like the same little girl who skinned up her knee in Bulgaria and didn't even notice. But, I think she just likes knowing that someone will take care of her, and if she needs kisses, ice packs, band-aids, and extra attention for pretend pains...that's fine for a season. Her left leg was a little swollen, so today's complaining was not imaginary.

Lentin Lunch

Small towns and small churches have great traditions that make them unique. Mason City has a series of Lentin Lunches at the local legion hall that consist of soup/sandwich and a short devotional time for the community. Adam, Grace, and I joined Mom and Dad for one today. I really enjoyed seeing old friends and singing traditional hymns...I even got to talk to Irma Schusele who babysat for the boys when Adam was 3 and the twins were 2.

Gracie wanted to play with Grandma and Grandpa who she calls "Grandpa Grandpa" sometimes and kept choosing different people to chase her around the playground equipment in the park. It was a hoot watching Adam twisting around to fit down the twisty slide. Grace isn't quite big enough to ride the John Deere tricycle, but it won't be long. Grandpa really tried to get the seat low enough that she could reach the pedals. She also was fascinated by the construction going on in Grandma and Grandpa's bathroom and couldn't figure out what happened to the missing bathtub.  "All gone bathtub!"

Grandma Wharram was especially alert today. She doesn't usually remember my name now and and she asks me repeatedly where I live and what I do, but she held my hand, told us someone had said she was nearly 100 (which is true), and smiled and chatted the entire time we were there. She loved watching "the little girl" push her walker around the lounge area, and she pulled Grace up onto her lap for a while. Grace knows her as Grandma Wharram, recognized her right away and was happy to hug and love on her. She asked Adam about his job and seemed to recognize him as family, too. When Grandma is having a good day, she tells me the same thing when I get ready to leave, "You know, you have always have a special place in my heart. I love you." Even though I know she doesn't really remember how I am related or why she loves me, I can tell she really means it and that is enough. I feel blessed to have heard those words today. She stood at the windows of the nursing home and waved at us as we drove away. I really miss her.

Scovill Playground

Mark finally got off work before dark today, so we met at Scovill Playground. I have wanted to take Grace several times during the day, but Mark so wanted to be there to see her reaction to the equipment that I waited. Of course, she loved it. She scaled up the climbing wall and the big boulder, scooted across the horizontal "swiss cheese" wall, chatted with the dinosaur, pushed herself on the swing, and checked out every slide and climbing apparatus. We only went home because the bathrooms were locked and she was jumping up and down saying, "Potty, potty!" Then Grace and I went to Lifebuilders small group while Mark headed to bed. Tomorrow is another 12 hour shift and he has to get up at 1:30 a.m.  Ugh...

First Play Date

Gracie was so excited for her play date that the first words out of her mouth this morning were, "Mommy Gracie go Hannah's house now." Play dates were a rarity when the boys were little; I guess the boys always had playmates (each other), few people wanted to invite three toddlers to play, and I was too busy to schedule social time. This time around, I am feeling a little secluded with only Grace and being away from other adults, so I was excited for the visit with Audrey and Hannah, too.

Hannah is younger, taller, and much more mature than Gracie. I learned a lot by watching the two of them today. Grace loved driving the car Fred Flinstone style around the basement, swinging, blowing on the recorder, and playing the pink guitar, but she didn't like Hannah's doggy at all. In fact, when the Cocker Spaniel (I think) met her at the door she immediately started squealing, shaking, climbing up Mommy, and crying. Even after a couple of minutes of Hannah telling her that she was a nice dog, the tears still rolled down her cheeks and her body shook anytime the dog came close. She hasn't cried this hard since we refused to let her ride the car/cart at the mall. Finally when the dog was in the bedroom, Gracie was fine and only occasionally asked about him. She loves watching dogs from a distance, talks to them when they are behind fences, and yells at them to "stop barking." But she told Daddy when she got home, "Gracie no like big doggy. Little doggy," and held her fingers up to show that a little doggy was the size of a peanut. She tells us that the doggy bites her hand, so we don't know whether she imagines a dog will bite her or if she has had a traumatic experience with dogs in the past.

We both loved the spinach salad and noodles for lunch, too. Grace loves salad and baby carrots. (So much for the food texture problems we were warned about.) When Hannah was having a chocolate chip cookie, though, Grace took one bite and asked for more noodles. Audry, bless her heart, heated up more noodles for her "dessert" while the rest of us chowed on cookies...

It always surprises me to see Grace with other children, because it really highlights her delays in development. Hannah loves reading books, and she asked me to read some of them to her. Grace has a hard time sitting still for a full story and prefers dancing and singing. Hannah was trying to stack small blocks into a tall tower, and Grace just wanted to knock them over. Hannah actually plays with other children, but Gracie plays next to other children with little interaction. She loves seeing new toys and usually can share if reminded, but she didn't really initiate playing with Hannah at all. In fact, the only area where 5 year old Grace seemed to be more competent than 3 year old Hannah was that she can eat without making hardly any mess at all. I think the girls would love playing together at Scovill playground...

The Children's Museum

The key to a good night's sleep...Make sure Grace is exhausted. Today's plan for wearing her out with a walk downtown was nixed due to the rain, so we headed to Baby Talk and then the Children's Museum. Her developmental progress is so much more obvious at Baby Talk because we do the same kind of activities from week to week. Each day she listens better and remembers more of the songs and activities. Today she even requested to get the shakers and dance to the "Shake It Baby" song when the children were asked for requests. During the owl book, she didn't try to climb up on Susan's lap, and sat on her bottom through the entire story. She did look back at me in amazement at the size of the owl and told me quietly, "Gulyam!" But, most of the time she was focused. She remembered the owl story and said, "Who, who..." while she was making her owl hand puppet. We are still working on helping her to choose a dominant hand, and practiced today. She really shows no preference what-so-ever, so we are trying to encourage eating, coloring, and cutting with her right hand. As a teacher, I know how much easier it is for students to be right-handed. So many things in our world are set up for righties. Mark is a lefty (I tease him about being wrong-handed) and he hopes she will decide to be right-handed, too.

"Big house," the Children's Museum, was also a hit. I had a hard time getting Gracie past the wind tunnels at the front door to even see the rest of the museum..She loved picking up the colored scarves and huge pom-pons to give to the bigger kids who were playing there. During our two hour visit, Grace spent most of her time in the grocery store area, pushing the cart and loading up on the groceries, but she also loved using the washer and dryer in the play kitchen where she made Mommy some tea, and changing the tires in the auto repair area. The climber was fun until the really big kids got on, and then she decided she wanted them to "baby" her. She has this way of looking at people and holding out her hands that makes everyone want to pick her up and help her. It was funny to watch her change from this confident, capable "big" girl who was climbing up and down  by herself into a helpless, needy "baby" in a matter of seconds. She really just wanted the attention of some of the school girls, so we moved along. Two hours was enough chaos for both of us, but we will definitely go back on the next rainy day. Maybe the next time there won't be two bus loads of kids...

Mission accomplished! Grace was nearly asleep when we got home from the museum, a 15 minute drive, and bedtime was a breeze.

The Testing Begins

I expected that eventually the honeymoon phase would pass and the testing would begin...Grace has decided that she likes being able to get adults to do what she wants and being catered to at about the same time that Mark and I are getting tired of her whining. This week we have been hearing her favorite new word, "What?" after nearly every statement and her little grumble, grunt, and point routines have been increasing. She has learned enough English to respond verbally most of the time, so we have been ignoring the charades and responding to her needs when she speaks. It is beginning to work, but we have to remind her to "use her words" (the phrase borrowed from Vince) repeatedly. She also has become more stubborn. She has been ignoring me when I ask her to pick up toys, saying "no" to my lunch choices, refusing to hold my hand sometimes, and telling me what she does and doesn't want to wear every day. She tells me daily that she wants to wear earrings, argues about the color of her socks, and pouts if she can't hold the hairdryer in the morning. Last night, she did not want to quiet down to sleep. She kept talking, kicking her feet, singing, asking for a drink of water, and wiggling around. Finally I sat her on my lap and looked at her seriously while I explained in a firm, but calm, voice that it was time for bed, Mommy was the boss, and Gracie had to do what Mommy and Daddy told her to do. Now Gracie needed to go to sleep, not play.

Grace dropped her head, gave her best pout face, and sighed. I rocked her for a few seconds before she started mumbling quietly, "No Mommy boss. Gracie boss. Gracie boss. No Mommy boss." I'm sure she could feel my body shaking as I tried desperately to hold back my laughing. A few minutes later, she said, "I love Mommy," gave me a kiss, started sucking her thumb, closed her eyes, and went to sleep. I am sure this is only the beginning of the challenges...

Just Like Mommy

It was actually in the 60's today so we spent much of the day outside, walking to the post office, eating lunch in the park and seeing the neighbor's geese, playing on the playground, stopping briefly at the public library, and even painting wooden letters in the backyard. But the highlight of the day was a 30 second conversation while we were waiting in line at the post office.

Grace, of course, greeted a woman who was in line behind us at the counter with, "Hi, I'm five." The woman looked from her to me and commented, "I bet this is your mom...You look just like her!" I grinned and agreed. The workers at the orphanage told us the same thing. They would talk animatedly in Bulgarian, smile, point to me, pat their cheeks and Gracie's, and smile. We truly didn't care what nationality our daughter was or what she looked like, and we expressed that in our adoption request. The fact that God lead us to the other side of the globe to find Gracie and that she looks so much like our family just reminds me of how God gives us more than we could think of or hope for.

Yummy peanut butter and jelly.

I'm So Glad We Found You

This is tonight's conversation with me during the last trip to the bathroom before bed:
Mommy: I'm so glad we found you. (kiss)
Grace: Mommy Daddy sad. Gracie bees a Neska Leelee. Mommy Daddy no find Gracie.
Mommy: Yes, Mommy and Daddy were sad because we couldn't find Gracie. We looked and looked and finally found Gracie all the way in Bulgaria with Neska and Leelee.
Grace: Mommy Daddy find Gracie to home. No Neska Leelee to home. Mommy Daddy to home.
Mommy: Yes, Mommy and Daddy went to Bulgaria on an airplane and brought Gracie home.
Grace: No sad.
Mommy: No we're not sad anymore, we are so happy to have Gracie home with our family. We love Gracie.
Grace: No Gracie sad...Mommy Daddy no find Gracie. Where's Gracie? (She puts her hands up and looks around.) Mommy Daddy find Gracie to home, no sad.
Mommy: Mommy and Daddy are happy because we found Gracie. Do you like being at home with Mommy and Daddy?
Grace: Happy. (smiles and hugs me)
Mommy: Neska and Leelee are happy that Gracie has a family, and Emanwewe has a family, too. Neska and Leelee took care of you until Mommy and Daddy could find you and bring you home.
Grace: Gracie, Mommy Daddy. Emanwewe, Mommy Daddy... Mommy Daddy, as te obichem Gracie. (She puts out her arms to hug Mark and me at the same time and sings, "I love you, as te obichem.")
Mommy: Yes, Mommy and Daddy as te obichem Gracie.
Gracie: Tomorrow, hungry eggs...
Mommy: Oh, you want eggs for breakfast tomorrow?
Grace: Tomorrow...and cereal.

The RIB

The RIB, i.e. Royal International Buffet, is usually our meeting place for Sunday brunch with Mark's family, so Gracie looks forward to "soupa, chicken, noodles, chocolate bananas, green beans, macaroni..." and of course a few sips of Mommy's tea (mixed with water) at the end of the meal. You can tell we are there often because she even knows the owner and some of the waitresses by name. Since Uncle Larry has been out of town, this was his first chance to hold Grace. She kept asking about Aunt Sara, who is really going to be jealous when she sees these pictures...

Hi, Uncle "Lally!"