Day 3: Embassy Physical

We had to get up earlier today to finish packing and get ready to leave for the new apartment, so we started talking and rubbed Grace's back to get her awake at 7:00 a.m. I fixed scrambled eggs and toast and Mark packed the contents of the refrigerator and cabinets into any extra plastic bags and grocery sacks he could find while I got Grace ready. Petko picked us up at 10:30 and took us to the new apartment which is the same one that we stayed in on the first trip. It has two bedrooms and a room that is kitchen, living room and dining room on the sixth floor of an apartment building. It was familiar to us, but a whole new experience for Grace. She was wound up all day...

This morning she started saying words in English. She said, "Amen" (after Mark said grace) and "bye-bye" in addition to "chao, chao" when she leaves. I also found out that what I thought was "ako obichash" which means please is actually "aste obichem" which means "I love you." Ivo interpreted this for us. All this time she has been patting my face and saying, "I love you" and I didn't even understand. We also found out that she keeps saying "askimotee" which means "more" and "die" which means "give me." She says "die" a lot.

We ate leftover soup shortly after we arrived and unpacked the groceries, so that we could try to get Grace her nap before we left at 3:30. We gave Petko one of the thank you gifts we brought and he reminded us to send pictures with the post placement reports. He said that they are so important to keep good relations with the Bulgarian government. He also told us that sometimes he needs supportive words and said that the translation for the card into Bulgarian made sense. I guess Google Translate worked fairly well.

Ivo picked us up at 3:30 to take Grace to her Embassy physical appointment. We had to visit 3 different doctors. The first was an ear, nose, and throat doctor who asked us a couple of questions, looked into Grace's ears, nose, and throat while she sat in a chair and sent us on our way. The second doctor was an eye doctor who shined a light into her eyes and sent us on. Before we could see the third doctor we had to wait, and Grace did not cooperate. She wanted to walk in the hallway, knock on the doors of other offices, yell at people on the steps, and act "cute" with the other people waiting. Finally we went into his office. He looked at her xrays, listened to her heart and lungs, and talked to us about her overall condition. As he looked over the paperwork, he mentioned that his wife works in the hospital ward where Grace spent the first months of her life, so he thought that she probably was one of Grace's nurses. He also told us that she had reconstructive surgery on one of her kidneys, not just the removal of a kidney stone. He said that to make her lungs strong that we should have her in sports like swimming and gymnastics, and that surgery on her chest is completely cosmetic. He recommended waiting to have surgery until after she stops growing because the surgery could disrupt her growth. During all of the exams, Grace just sat quietly and did not fuss at all. She even pulled up her shirt for the doctor to listen to her chest. We noticed she has many small scars on the backs of her hands which we figure she got from the months of medical treatment she had after birth. Poor baby.

On the way out of the building, a secretary at the front desk talked to Grace and asked her name and age. Of course, she said she was five...Then the secretary took an ornament off of a small Christmas tree on the desk and handed it to her to take home. We will be putting it on the Christmas tree and telling this story for years to come.

When we got back to the apartment Mark made spaghetti and cooked carrots and she really liked both. In fact, Mark had a hard time getting the carrots cut up, because she kept trying to take the whole peeled carrots off of the counter to eat raw. He sliced off small pieces and tried giving them to her and she loved them. We were told that kids in the orphanages usually have trouble eating more crunchy foods, because they are used to soups and stews, so this really surprised us. She cleaned up a small bowl of both foods, and I mean cleaned up. This little girl doesn't leave a speck of food on her plate or the table. The boys could use a few lessons...She also wanted to try a sip of Mark's Coca-Cola, which made her make a face. She doesn't like it at all.

After supper, she helped wash dishes and took the sponge and cleaned the whole apartment. Truly, she wiped off the table, the chairs, the coffee table, and the vinyl covered corner sofa! (I hope she does this when we get home...) Then we gave her a bath. The minute the water started running, she got a worried look on her face. She cried a little before she got into the tub, but she stopped as soon as the water was turned off. We told her "ne boli" which means roughly "no hurt." She kept repeating that over and over. She sat in the water and played a little bit with the cup and seemed really happy because we left her hair alone.

Then Mark made a bag of microwave popcorn. We gave her a small bowl, because we were afraid she would try to put the whole bag into her mouth at once. She loved watching the bag swell up in the microwave, too. She is also great about sharing, and would take popcorn out of the bowl and give one to Mark and one to me and put them in our mouths. She didn't want us to touch the popcorn, though. I think she ate so fast because she wanted to wash the bowl. The dishwasher isn't a big hit...

After that she was really naughty and silly. She kept trying to put things in the outlets, was throwing things and running around, kept pushing buttons on the TV and the computer, and refused to do anything she was supposed to do. She acted like she was on a sugar high or something. I think the move and the medical appointments today were too much excitement. We had a really hard time getting her to go to sleep. She rocked herself and flopped around for over an hour. But, as she was laying in bed, she patted Daddy's face like she pats Mommy's when she is trying to go to sleep. What a great way to end a crazy day.

"Otivame." We are going...

Waiting at the doctor's office.

I like to help.

Mama, ella...Mama, come here!

Popcorn

Day 2: Learning

We were all exhausted and woke up at around 10:30! She sat right up, smiled and wrinkled up her nose with a silly grin, and then crawled right up onto my lap. No tears or confusion about where we were at all. When we changed her clothes, she took her pajamas and folded them neatly and laid them at the head of the bed. She even held her shirt with her chin to fold in the two sleeves. It was unbelievable. We gave her oatmeal which we thought might be similar to what she is used to eating..."Ne, ne." So we gave her a few bites of our granola cereal..."Ne, ne." So we tried toast and scrambled eggs, yes, that was perfect. She also likes orange juice and milk.

Everything was great as we were playing until I decided to take a shower. Daddy was giving her airplane rides and distracting her, but she needed Mommy. When she started to cry, we knew that she just needed to stand by the bathtub and she did and was fine. She also sat with me in the bathroom and followed me everywhere all day.

We played with pattern blocks, legos, crayons, danced and sang, and batted around a beach ball. She also decided we should understand Bulgarian, so anytime we didn't understand she started talking louder, repeating herself, and showing us what she wanted. We pretty much did whatever she told us to do all day long. She wanted me to carry her all the time, and it is pretty easy to understand the universal signal of a child holding up their hands. She also wanted to turn all of the lights on and off, and consequently, by the end of the day she was saying "on" and "off" in English. She also decided she loves to use the potty chair and that going "aka" gets squeals of delight from both Mommy and Daddy, so she decided to go aka 3 times!

For lunch we had grilled cheese sandwiches, baked potatoes and she loved them. The only eating problem she has is that she tries to put four bites into her mouth at once without swallowing (and with very little chewing) and then she washes the whole thing down with milk or juice.

We all took a two hour nap (a part of this journey that we could really get used to) and then got her all dressed in double pants, coat, hat, gloves, scarf, etc. and told her we were going to the store. We told her "otivame" which means "we are going" and she got really excited. Suddenly we started wondering if she thought we were going to take her back to the orphanage, but she was fine for the entire 5 block walk.  In fact, she said "hello" to people in the store, on the street, and even yelled at people across the street. She told one man that she had new shoes and she told the lady that she was five (pet). Well, not for a few weeks, but obviously she thinks it is true. We got supplies and food for the rest of our stay which Mark carried home. On the way she saw some pigeons and got really excited and started talking to them. Basically, she was a walking radio commentary all day. We don't know what she was saying but she talks even when nobody is listening or can understand her. Poor Mark. He has a hard time getting a word in at home now...

She decided she likes Mark more today. She let him feed her a few bites of food, gave him kisses, and called "Tate, ella" any time that he left the room. They had fun hiding and finding each other for tickle time. He had to be there or she would order him back. She told us what to do and expected that we would do it now. She discovered her new snow boots in my suitcase and wanted to put them on. She stomped around for hours and wanted to wear them to bed. She really doesn't like not wearing shoes even to bed.

For supper we had sausage, potato, corn soup; bread and butter, and slices of apple which she ate with or without the skin. After supper she wanted to help with washing the dishes, so we pulled a chair over to the sink. She washed and rinsed and handed them to us to be put away. She also got wet from head to toe because she loves to play in running water. After she washed the dishes, she cleaned the entire apartment. She took a small blue towel and wiped off the table, all of the chairs, the coffee table, the front of the washing machine...and then she played with the damp towel. She folded it and refolded it. She flipped it out by two corners to lay it flat on the coffee table and smoothed out the wrinkles. She had more fun with the towel than any toys we brought. Then we got a phone call from Rosi telling us about our appointments for Wednesday and Petko who told us that there had been a mix up and that we had to move to a new apartment. Hmmm...it sure would have been nice to know this before we filled the refrigerator.

Well, we started packing everything back into our suitcases and she wanted to help. Grace picked up all of the dirty clothes that we had put in a pile and folded them, too. Then she walked around picking up everything. She even put a shirt, a pair of pants and a sweater onto one hangar and buttoned the sweater buttons by herself. Finally we got her into her slipper socks after her bath, but she put her boots on over the top of them. She still cried in the tub and did not want to sit in the two inches of water. I think the sound of the water running scares her.

She won't sleep with covers or a pillow, so we have to dress her in layers at bedtime. She really rocked again last night and kept flipping over all night long. Maybe she is worried about her US Embassy physical tomorrow... We took some photos of her with her legs drapped over Mark and I and sprawled out on the bed. She is going to have to sleep in the toddler bed at home if we are going to get any rest. She sleeps like a rotisserie. (Mark says that is just like Mommy.) I say, "Ne, ne."

Ready for the day!

I love my boots and the towel.

I'm a good helper.

Daddy found me! Tickle, tickle.

No room for Mommy...

She is wonderful!

Today has been surreal...We packed everything last night and were ready to leave for the orphanage early today. After debating on what to take for her first day, we finally decided on the dress that Mark picked out a couple of months ago...It is size 24 months so we were worried about whether it would fit.

When we arrived with Deliana and Ivo, we met the director for the first time and she asked if we had any questions about Gracie. We asked again about her health and were told that she hasn't been sick at all, even with the flu going around, since our last visit and that she doesn't take any regular medications any more except for vitamins. When we asked about her kidneys, the director seemed clueless and had to call the doctor to ask. She told us they did a laser procedure on her kidney stone and she didn't actually have surgery, but I'm guessing by the 4 inch scar across her back, that she was wrong. We also found out that her best friend, Emanwewe, has already left the orphanage and was adopted by a Bulgarian couple. Mark and I had already decided that if she hadn't been, we were going to try to go back and get her, too.

The director seemed pleased with the suitcase filled with supplies and the coloring books and crayons that we brought. I gave her the note about my class and the photo of them with the supplies that they collected. I think she liked all of the gifts.

The director took us down to the play room and when they called her, two of the "aunties" came out and started crying. The children were all gathered around the doorway and windows to watch and were all calling her name. She just smiled from ear to ear. One of the "aunties" brought her to us and the workers all gathered around and hugged and kissed both of her cheeks. Their mood was such a mixture of joy and sadness...It was obvious that they all loved her, too. Of course, we both were so touched that we cried, too. We gave Grace the gifts and she handed them to each of the "aunties" as they kissed her good-bye and then they all posed for a few photos. We will be so glad to have these for her someday.

The "aunties" then took all of the clothes we brought, and they said she needed warmer clothes because she wasn't used to going outside. I guess a long sleeve t-shirt, a long sleeve shirt, a corduroy dress, diapers, training pants, sweater knit tights, leg warmers, socks, a scarf, hat, gloves, and a heavy coat weren't enough!  She looked like a snowman.

As we left, the director said that she needed to do something, a Bulgarian good luck ritual, where she threw a cupful of water on the ground outside the orphanage and Grace had to walk through the water on the ground for good luck. We did this and went straight to the car, because everyone was worried that she would get too cold. It was about 35 degrees Fahrenheit here today with almost no wind, so we thought it was pretty nice after this last cold spell.

Once we left, we really noticed a change in Grace. She was quiet and serious. We tried talking to her and so did Deliana (in Bulgarian) but she didn't respond. We strapped her into the middle of the back seat and headed to the store to get her passport photo taken. She cooperated, but she looks like she is about ready to cry in her photo.

Then we went to the immigration office to get her passport. It was crowded with people and she just wanted to look through the teller windows and to stay with Deliana. She decided she didn't want anything to do with us. Deliana was great. Every time Grace would try to have her pick her up, she would say, "no" and tell her to go with us. She was sweet and explained that we were going to go to an apartment and that in a few days we would take her to her new home. She still looked at us with fear. I'm sure she felt like she was being kidnapped by strangers.

She was great when we got to the apartment for about a half hour, looking around, checking out the toys, and exploring cautiously and then we started making the chicken and noodles for lunch and she started to cry. The big tears ran down her cheeks and you could tell that she was trying not to cry, but that she was just so scared and didn't know what to do. I held her on my lap and said everything that I could think of in Bulgarian that I though might comfort her...obichem te (I love you), tova e dobre (It's alright), ne plachi (don't cry), I'll be your mommy forever (As sam tvoiata maika zavinage) as I rocked her and hugged her. After that I just talked to her in English and hoped that the sound of my voice would be reassuring. It was heartbreaking.

Finally, the noodles were ready and we made her a plate of chicken, noodles, bread and butter, and gouda cheese that she had with the apple juice she had started when we first got to the apartment. She sat on a couch pillow to reach the table and although she can feed herself, we fed her most of the meal. She started getting better right away. And this girl can really eat! She'll fit in great with our crew.

We all took a nap together from about 2:00-3:30 with her snuggled right up next to me. She sweats a lot, so her hair was soaking wet when she woke up, but she was in such a great mood after her nap. She has a really sweet disposition, with a hint of subborn independence thrown in. Mark says this is "just like mommy." Of course, we know that daddy is never a bit stubborn.

After that, she became mama's shadow all day. She would just stand in front of me with her arms up any time I put her down. Mark had to give her airplane rides around the apartment just so that I could go to the bathroom. Tonight, she kept cuddling me and patting my face. She kept saying ako obichish, or something like that, which I think means (please) and grinning, leaning against me, and turning around every few minutes to give me kisses. She did give Mark kisses, too, as the day went on, but I think she is really used to women caregivers, so it may take her a little longer with him. She ate sausage, toast, eggs, cheddar cheese and milk for supper and even had a few bites of cookies and cream ice cream (which she liked but seemed puzzled by).

So here are a few other things we found out about her today:
1. She likes the TV and wants to stand right up close to it.
2. She wants to push buttons...the TV, the computer, cell phones, the washing machine, and the light switches. She understands "ne, ne" but will probably try it anyway and look at you to see if she is going to get away with it.
3. She likes music, can keep a good beat, and likes to dance to music.
4. She does NOT like to take a bath! She didn't like sitting in the water and especially did not want to wash her hair.
5. She loves the hair dryer and thought she looked beautiful (hubava) after it was done.
6. She really tried to sing "Jesus Loves Me" after she heard us sing it a few times.
7. She sucks her thumb, upside down when she's sleeping.
8. She wants to put everything in and out of containers, cups, crayon boxes, the Cinderella carriage (that was in the apartment), the backpack...
9. She loves the sunglasses and the toys in it and wore the bear (mechka) backpack a lot today.
10. When she roused up from her nap today, she rocked herself back and forth trying to go back to sleep. This is the only "orphanage behavior" we have seen so far.
11. When she eats, she picks up the plate and scoops the food with a little spoon into her mouth. She really tries not to use her fingers.
12. She loves washing her hands and did a great job of trying to brush her teeth.
13. She likes her lamb slippers and held them while we watched Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer. Then she put them back on to go to sleep tonight.
14. During the last few hours tonight, she talked up a storm, and told us to do things for her...We figured out most things because she would point or drag us by the hand.
15. She used the potty chair 4 times today, but she was wet twice...She really liked watching the toilet flush.
16. The size 24 months pants outfit and dress fit perfectly. The size 3T pajamas fall down around her ankles. She told me to tuck in her shirt to help keep them up, so I think she is used to this problem.

I know this is long, but here is what you were waiting for...photos!

This is the doctor who has taken care of me.

The aunties all love her very much.

This auntie on the left was crying because I was leaving.

There are so many children still waiting.

Ready to go...I think.

Daddy walked me through the water for good luck.

I'm scared, Daddy.

It's okay...Don't cry.

How can I be so small and eat so much!

I love Mommy.

Daddy, these pajamas are too big.

I want that cell phone...Ne, ne.

What a day!

We're here!

We flew out today on LOT Polish Air, and despite rumors that the airline was horrible (1.1 out 5 stars) the only difference we saw between LOT and British was the lack of video entertainment. I slept just as well (or not so well) this time as last time. They held our flight in Warsaw after our initial flight was delayed, so we went smoothly from one flight directly to the other.

We just barely got all of the luggage into the van we and another family were picked up in, but I'm sure the orphanage will be thrilled with the large suitcase filled with toothbrushes, onesies, socks, surgical gloves, gauze pads, toys, and ointments that my students collected with the help of my room mother, Mrs. Clark. It was so touching to have the students bring me a pair of socks or some baby t-shirts and say, "Mrs. Dunham, do you think the kids there will like these?" I printed a note and translated it to Bulgarian so the orphanage will know that the students collected the supplies, and I added a photo of my class with the open suitcase to the bottom of the note. I hope they are touched by the students' generosity. I know I was.

We are in a different apartment than on the last visit, but it has much the same "feel." Two bedrooms, a small kitchen, bath with a jetted tub, dining room and living room. Inside it is great, but outside it is covered with graffiti and looks like you are heading into a crack house at the entrance. We are closer to the downtown historic district. We wanted to be prepared for the week, so we walked about 5 blocks onto the main street, Vitosha, and found a small grocery store. For any old Mason City people, it reminded me of the old Cackley's grocery store. We bought bread, milk, water, eggs, and the makings for chicken and noodles, spaghetti, and potato soup. We already boiled the chicken tonight so it won't take long to make lunch tomorrow. We were told that orphanage kids don't usually understand the idea of "preparation time" because food always magically appears at lunch and dinner time for them, so we don't want to frustrate Grace with being hungry right away. We will work on  patience once she gets home.

We just packed up everything we are taking with us to the orphanage tomorrow at 9:00 a.m. when we pick her up...Finally we decided on an outfit. Girl's clothes are already a challenge for us. We also have photo ornament gifts, framed photos of some of the orphanage workers with Grace from our first visit, and snacks and toys for her because we don't know if we will be going to get passport photos tomorrow, too. We did get a loaner phone, so we can call in Bulgaria.

Well, Mark has been fighting eye irritation from his sinuses, and I am exhausted. Time for bed. More after the big "Gotcha" day tomorrow.

The letter to the orphanage director that tells about the donations from my class.

The street outside our front door.

The entrance to our apartment.

Our dining room/living room.

4 Days and Counting

Usually I am the one who stays up nearly all night before every trip getting ready, while Mark sleeps like a baby and goes to bed early, so this next statement amazes even me...I packed my suitcase and all of Grace's things tonight! My travel liquids are all packed in a quart ziploc bag, my new and very large purse is stocked for the trip, and all of my laundry is finished. I also weighed the suitcase and checked the dimensions to be sure that we were within the 50 pound limit and 62 inch size requirement. I even surprised Mark yesterday. He asked me if I had ordered trip insurance (our new flights didn't have that as an option) and I told him that I hadn't. That's it...I didn't say I would get it right away or that I would add that job to my list. Nope, I just answered his question and did not take on an extra last minute job. This is so NOT like me.

It was so nice to watch Mark searching the net for the best insurance prices, instead of me, ordering the coverage, instead of me, and printing all of the documents, instead of me. You know I just had a revelation...he can do this if I just let him. Ahhh, so I'm packed and could leave in an hour (except that the house looks like a tornado hit it) and Mark decided to take a vacation day on Friday because he has so much to still do on his list.  (Yes, I am secretly smiling.) Tomorrow night, all I need to do is finish wrapping some Christmas gifts, write a bunch of thank you notes, finish a few extra gift ornaments for the "aunties" that we bought tonight, and clean up the house. Wow, we don't even leave for Chicago until Friday. Hmmmm...I better add one more job to my list. Perhaps I should talk to my sister and see if it is still okay for us to crash at their house on Friday and get a ride to O'hare on Saturday.

What Gift Could Be Right?

Today I finally decided on gifts for the "aunties" and the orphanage director. I got some nice photo ornaments and put Grace's picture in each one, wrapped them in tissue, and put them into little cloth gift bags. We are going to add some wrapped chocolates to each bag. Hopefully, Grace will be able to pass them out to each of these special ladies as a way of saying thank you and good-bye. I also finished the Bulgarian thank-you notes. Using Google Translator, I finally wrote a short note that translated to Bulgarian and back to English without sounding like nonsense, so I hope that the "aunties" will understand the thought behind my words. Here is what each note says in Bulgarian:                                 

Уважаеми специални леля,

Благодаря ви много за вземане на добри грижи за Даниела. Тя е умна и сладка, защото на вашето внимание и грижи. Даниела живота ви са се променили и даде ново бъдеще. Ние ще бъде сигурен, че тя е здрав и щастлив в нашето семейство. Благодаря ви много за да я обича. Ние ще бъде вечно благодарни на вас.

Честита Коледа,

Dear special Aunt,
Thank you very much for taking good care of Daniela. She's smart and sweet, because of your attention and care. Daniela's life you have changed and given a new future. We will be sure she is healthy and happy in our family. Thank you very much for loving her. We will be forever grateful to you.

Happy Christmas,

We also are giving framed pictures of us from the first visit to the director, assistant director, and the secretary along with copies of the photos that we took of the assistant director and secretary. Sometimes the director will ask for the adoptive family to host a party for the other children, so we brought coloring books and boxes of toddler crayons for all of the children in Grace's play group who are mostly ages 3 and 4. If they don't let us host the party, we will leave them...Maybe they could be used as Christmas gifts for the children this year. Here are a few of the gifts for the "aunties."

Itinerary and Preparations

After booking flights through United, Kay at TOL gave us a tip of a travel agency in New Jersey that was able to get better rates for another adoptive family, so we contacted them by email for a quote on flights. With two hours to go, before we missed the 24 hour cancellation window on our non-refundable tickets, we got a better deal. Save $1995, fly LOT Polish Air through Warsaw, and stay an extra day. We decided that the $60 a day for the apartment was insignificant compared to the savings. We now fly out of Chicago on Saturday, December 12 and return Sunday, December 20. Now the only concern is that we could not confirm seats together for the flight from Chicago to Warsaw. We will need to arrive really early at the airport to see if we can get any of the seats the airline reserves.

At school today, I found out who will be my substitute, made an information packet for her, and sent home some of the textbooks today. I drafted a letter to send to parents to let them know that I will not be finishing the year with their children. Mr. T. will look it over tomorrow and we will mail it out. Mark has been arranging vacation and FMLA, we finally bought shoes today, and we put up the Christmas tree with the boys.

We saw in the Sofia News that a 50 ft. living Christmas tree is being lighted with 800 meters of lights in front of the Rila Hotel in Sofia, Bulgaria on December 1. They are having a European style festival called "Koledariya 2009" with cookies, warmed wine, and puppet shows for the kids. Even though we will miss the festival, we printed off the information for our trip. It would be fun to take Grace to see the tree one evening if the weather is nice during our visit. Maybe seeing the lighted tree there would make the one in our living room less confusing, too.

Too Many Tears

Nearly every significant event in my life has been marked by tears, and today they bubbled over several times. For anyone who knows me well, you understand that tears punctuate nearly every part of my life...I cry at weddings, funerals, graduations, departures to college, the day the boys drove away in the car for the first time, the first time they slept in "big" beds, the first time they slept through the night...Sometimes, I even cry in anticipation of events as I work through what is to come. Oddly, I cried through Adam's junior year in high school as I realized that I would be marking Adam's last year of high school the next year. Working through my feelings of what was to come helped me to stay composed when it was actually my turn to be the proud parent of a senior. I'm hoping today's tears will help me to remain composed when we pick up Grace at the orphanage.

Today I have been overwhelmed with the significance of December 14 in Grace's life. When she walks out of the orphanage with us, she will lose everything she has ever known and understood. She will lose her routines, her sense of security, the comfort of her own bed, her language, her name, and the people who have loved and cared for her. She will lose all that is familiar and will probably not even fathom the significance of the day. How could she? But someday, just as I feel after being on vacation, she will long for the comfort of routine. She may feel the way I do when we drive into the garage and are finally home from a long trip. Grace, however, will never get to go back "home" again. She is losing so much.

I'm thankful that Grace has the blessing of being naive. She doesn't know that she should have already been moved across the street to the orphanage for 4-7 year olds. She doesn't realize how long "forever" may be. She doesn't understand that the "aunties" have families of their own. Perhaps she has a vague notion that others belong in a way she does not, but probably her experiences keep her from truly having a reference point. Imagine trying to explain marriage if you had never seen that relationship. "Family" has to be just as foreign and elusive a concept for her. You see, until we walk away on December 14, she won't have ever experienced an alternative to the comforting predictability of the orphanage. You can't miss what you don't know exists. But after she joins our family, she will clearly miss all that she has left behind. Her security, language, cultural expectations, her bed, the favorite aunties, the foods that she especially loves, the social order, the little tricycle, Emanwewe, her bucket and shovel, her place at the table, the comfort of having every decision made for her...she will lose everything. 

I know that family is a wonderful, often unappreciated gift. But if I were in her place, I think I would be wondering when they were going to take me back. My heart breaks for her. In all of our joy, as we gain our hearts desire, I don't want to forget that she is losing so much. She does not need for me to be a blubbery mess, so I hope I am just getting these tears out of the way...

Flight Fiasco

My mission for today...book flights. Sounds simple, but instead of a few simple computer keystrokes to enter our credit card number, I spent the day honing my powers of persuasion. I started by calling Mike at the travel agency that TOL recommended. He couldn't find a return trip, on December 19th (the beginning of the Christmas holiday), that didn't involve 2 layovers Munich and Frankfurt. So, I started calling the customer service numbers for the major airlines to ask about adoption fares. United told me that they offer 65% off of a full price, round-trip ticket for adoptions as long as the connecting flights to Sofia were booked with a partner airline, Lufthansa. So I logged in to the United Airlines Web site to check out their full price fares which were much better than the ones on Expedia and Orbitz. Once we found the flight times, with only one connection, and prices that we liked, I called United to book. Unfortunately, the adoption fares only apply to the price of a refundable ticket, so it was going to cost more for the adoption fare than the standard price. And the best rates were through Lufthansa on all of the connections, so the agent referred me to customer service at Lufthansa. Well, Lufthansa doesn't offer adoption fares, so it was back to the drawing board.  I really would have liked the free upgrade to "economy plus" we would get with the adoption rate with "up to 5 extra inches of leg room" but I'm too cheap to pay for that kind of comfort and Gracie and I have short legs anyway. (Sorry, Mark. Next time you'll have to book the tickets.) So I started checking the standard rates again.

Amazingly, I found that even though the fares were supposed to be listed according to price, this one return flight halfway down the page on United was a jackpot fare. On the first page of the site it said the cost was $1492.00 plus tax per person, but when you hit "continue"the site flashed a green announcement, "We have found a lower fare. Please note that the fare is now lower for the itinerary that you selected. The updated fare is displayed below. Details."
We could fly out of O'hare through Frankfurt for our departure and return from Sofia via Munich for much less than the cost of every other connection: $3009.00 for 3 full-price tickets. It was three round-trip tickets for the price of two! So we checked the itinerary with Kay at TOL and rushed to booking the tickets.

Sign up for United frequent flyer miles, complete the flight and meal information, agree to the travel insurance terms, put in the credit card information and... "Error. We are experiencing technical difficulties, try back later." After 6 or 7 attempts "later" we still couldn't book the flights, and we were starting to worry about whether those connections would still be available. So, we tried using the desktop computer instead of the laptop. No luck. Finally we decided to call and make phone reservations, $25 per booking, just to be sure that we had seats reserved on this flight. As I was beginning to dial, I noticed a United Technical Support phone number and decided to try one more time to avoid those booking fees.

I guess I hadn't really considered that the advertised price was an error. I thought I was getting a special deal...children fly free with two adults, or something like that. Well, after running out the batteries on three phone handsets, asking to talk to a supervisor, sending a screen shot by email of the advertised fare stating "$3009.00 for 3 passengers," and waiting on hold for 15-20 minutes, the representative discovered that the website had a glitch. If I would have clicked on the details link, it would have shown that the fare for each person with tax was $1504.50 usd and the computer had failed to add in the child's rate. I suggested false advertising, highlighted the website's declaration of a lower price, dismissed her suggestion that we should have clicked on the details link and added up the cost manually, and asserted that when I clicked on the yes button that said, "Accept new price" that United had contracted to honor this advertised price. The supervisor agreed. I'm not sure whether I am terrifically persuasive and convincing (no not stubborn), or if poor Mel had other things to do, but we got the advertised price. Basically, in the middle of the holiday rush on December 19th, Grace will be flying for free on her way to becoming a new US citizen. Mel booked our tickets to reserve our flight and will call us tomorrow with the details on how, with discount coupons, she is going to honor this rate. The whole time I was on the phone, Mark was laying on the couch smiling and shaking his head. He knew, from experience I suppose, that the supervisor didn't have a prayer. I thought I was right, and I wasn't  going to give up until I convinced Mel that I was right, too. Hmmmm...now which side of the family did I learn this from?

By the way, we just checked the United website again, and the price is now $6641.00 for the itinerary that we just booked for $3009.00, and the site is still announcing a reduced fare and miscalculating the cost. I don't think it will be a good day for the I.T. staff at United tomorrow.

We Have Travel Dates!

As Mark was getting ready to leave for choir, we got the email. We have confirmed travel dates. We leave on December 12th and return on December 19th. Not only will Grace be the best Christmas present that we get this year, but we will have her home in time for Blaise and Vince to spend a little time with her, too. We were told to expect 8-10 days for the second trip, so this schedule of only 7 days is also a nice surprise. I'm a planner, so for the first time in a while, I feel at peace. I'll sleep really well tonight knowing that we have 3 1/2 weeks to get everything ready to go.

Now It's 2-4 Weeks

Two weeks ago today we got the news, so instead of 4-6 weeks before we travel, it should be 2-4 weeks from today! We have a list of things to get done and we are checking them off...Car seat, check. Hang mini-blinds in Grace's bedroom, check. Buy tennis shoes, check. Get Pedialyte powder, check. Buy a large purse/travel bag, check. Post midterm grades, check. We even have been doing serious Christmas shopping so that we can hibernate when we get home...Yep, we'll be ready whenever they tell us we can go.

eBay Shopping

I never understood it until this week, but eBay could be addictive. I was looking for black shoes for Gracie and instead ended up bidding on the cutest little, 2-piece Christmas dress. I won! It's almost like being in Las Vegas!!! This little dress cost me only 99 cents, plus shipping, and it arrived yesterday. I know most women love the mall, but I really prefer not to shop unless I need to buy something. I hate waiting in line, searching for something I want that doesn't seem to exist in my size, forgetting where I parked the car (lol), and spending money... I do love the sense of accomplishment I get when I have found a great deal, though, so eBay may just become my new favorite "store."

Girl clothes really are more fun than boy clothes.

Keeping Busy

I'm really having a hard time focusing on school, and it really annoys me to sit around and DO nothing. To help pass the time I started packing yesterday. I got out one of the small suitcases that can double as a carry-on and started putting all of the do-dads and supplies we have accumulated for Grace into the suitcase. We will have her with us for about 8 days, so we need toys, emergency meds., and necessities. So far we have undershirts in pastel colors, tiny little printed underwear, pull-ups, socks, tights, a toothbrush, child-safe toothpaste, clear children's motrin, rainbow colored band-aids, a first aid kit, children's vitamins, a paint by water book, bubbles, a beachball, furry lamb slippers, glow bracelets, a travel baby toiletries kit, a touch and feel book, play-doh, flavored chapstick, lacing cards, a push and go tiger/car, tiny posable dolls, furry velcro pets, a pair of sunglasses, 2 magnetic "sticker" books, crayons, a coloring book, stickers, 3 dresses, 3 pant outfits, a coat, hat, gloves, and her furry bear backpack...I also ordered two toys that should be here this week...a rain stick and magnetic pattern blocks.

This week we are shopping for a car seat and shoes and signing/notarizing the final documents for our visa appointment...in between meeting with the construction crew. Our new siding and windows were supposed to be completed before school started, so they aren't on schedule, but the crew of 6 or 7 made huge progress today. We are hoping they are finished by Thursday since we think we are going to head to Alabama to see Blaise run in regionals on Friday. We know it will be more difficult to travel after she gets home, so we really want to try to see this last cross country race.

I also contacted the superintendent today to find out what options I have for taking a leave. Ideally, I will take the rest of the semester off with full pay :-) ...It might end up being 12 weeks of FMLA and the remainder unpaid, though, which will be fine.

We want to be ready to leave any time especially since I read another family's adoption blog and they got 3 days notice to travel on the second trip! I would not be able to sleep at all if we were leaving in 72 hours..

Court Success

Since Bulgaria is 8 hours ahead of us, I woke up this morning knowing that our adoption court case had already been completed and somebody knew the outcome. I checked email before school...nothing, came home at noon to check again....nothing, after school...finally a simple message from Daniel at TOL:

with SUCCESS  :-)

Kay sent us a follow up email with a little bit more information...

Dear Mark and Gail, I understand that you have a new daughter! Congratulations! I am so pleased for you. We will start to get you organized to travel to bring little Miss home! Daniel will send you, if he has not already done so, the travel packet for the 2nd trip. We know that as an average, you can anticipate traveling four to six weeks after court. Until this is confirmed of course, we can not predict the actual dates so please be patient as we wait to hear from the team in BG. They have to obtain the actual court decree and then the new birth certificate: they will let us know when they are ready for you to come to them. Here is a typical schedule for the second trip.

Here is the schedule of the families in Bulgaria during their second trip:


Day  1 -- arriving in Bulgaria

Day 2 – trip to the orphanage to pick up the child

Day 3 – Submission of documents for passport. This is a new requirement. The family must do that together with the child. They all shall be accompanied by an interpreter to the police department to submit the application for passport of the child. This requirement applies to all Bulgarian citizens. The purpose is for all underage children to appear personally. The passport issuance takes 3 days.

Day 4 – visit to a clinic, licensed by the US embassy for the required medical examination

Day 5 – free time

Day 6 – receiving the passport

Day 7 – Interview at the US Embassy

(potentially an additional day here as the Embassy will not release the Visa until the next day on occasion: we will wait and see)

Day 8 – Leaving the country

Mark called from work to get the news..."Hi Daddy!" Then I started calling my side of the family--Mom and Dad, Kay and Tom, Jill and Roger. Mark will want the chance to spread the cheer, so I'll hold off a day on posting this and calling his siblings, so I don't spoil the surprise. Maybe  :-) It will be fun telling the rest of the teachers tomorrow at school.

I have so many questions:  Does Grace already know? When will they tell her? Can we send her something during the wait? How much notice will we have before we travel?

I am off to small group...Mark will meet me there after he finishes another 12 hour shift. Maybe we can call Kay when we get home.

A Breakthrough

We have a court date, November 3! After sending a frustrated email with questions to Kay at TOL on Sunday, Daniel asked the Bulgarian agency for an update and we got the news today. We don't have a possible travel date yet, but Daniel said he would let us know as soon as he does. Usually it is 4 to 8 weeks after court, so we are still hopeful that we will have Gracie home before the end of the year. Please be praying that everything goes well at court and that we get a travel date for the beginning of December.

The Beginnng of Bulgarian Winter

During the wait, I have continued to read the Sofia News headlines everyday on http://www.novinite.com/ , so I found out this week that Bulgaria turned their clocks ahead for daylight savings time and that today was a special celebration in the Bulgarian Eastern Orthodox Church. Today, October 26, is St. Dimitar Day which heralds the start of winter. According to tradition, St. Dimitar rides a red horse and the first snowflakes fall from his snow white beard. Here is an excerpt from the Sofia News:

The church holiday is in honor of the Holy Martyr St Dimitar. Legend has it that he was born in the town of Thessaloniki. After the death of his father, he became a chief of town, accepted the Christian religion and started teaching the residents of Thessaloniki that they should not believe and pray to idols but that they should open their hearts to Jesus Christ.

That was why emperor Maximillian ordered that Dimitar was thrown in a dungeon. Even locked in prison, St. Dimitar continued spreading his faith among the people and because of that he was murdered - speared in the ribs. After some time, during the digging of a ditch, St. Dimitar's holy remains, which radiated healing and fragrant "miro", were discovered.

On this day traditionally, seasonal workers were paid and superstitions abound. For instance, if the first visitor of the day is young and wealthy, it is thought to signal financial prosperity and health for the household. If the first visitor is male, an abundance of male animals are expected in the herds, etc. People with a name derived from Dimitar celebrate this name day with parties and this is a popular day for wedding engagements. This is St. Dimitar:

Busy Mark

I think Mark is "nesting." Last week, he had the last sweet gum tree cut down in the back yard, so those little prickly balls won't hurt Gracie's feet when she plays outside. Then Mark and Adam tried to take down the old clothesline poles yesterday...After digging a three feet wide hole that was three feet deep, they decided that whoever put in those clothesline poles did not intend for anyone to ever remove them. I think he is going to cut the poles out of the concrete to finish that job. After working for over an hour, they still couldn't budge the poles.

Mark is assembling the dresser and toy chest today, so parts are spread all over the family room. He already finished the headboard and night stand, but we need a replacement for one panel of the headboard since it looks like it has a smudge across the front. For relatively inexpensive furniture, from Target, it has a nice white finish and is solid wood. I think Mark is enjoying putting it all together anyway. He is antsy, too. It is so nice to go into Gracie's room and see the bed all made up with her bedspread, pillows, and the doll just waiting for her. We are really glad that we got two identical dolls, so she has one with her in Bulgaria and one dolly waiting for her at home. Here's the handiman at work.

A Tiny Break in the Clouds

Since we hadn't heard any news, I emailed Kay from TOL tonight and got an immediate response. She forwarded this email from Bulgaria that said:   

The dossiers of Dunham and XXXXXXX families are already in the Court, we still haven't a date for the hearing, but it will be soon. So could you write us urgently if the families already have their updated Medical letters.

The good news...the MOJ has signed our documents and sent them to court. I was confused by the email since we updated our medical letters in August and the date of the cover letter for sending them to Oregon was dated August 29. The letters should have arrived in Oregon and been forwarded to Bulgaria a month ago. I emailed Kay back and she said she would double check. The problem is that medicals are only good for 6 months and our original medicals were dated April 1. Expiration: October 1. If we have a court date on the old documents, our medicals won't pass "inspection." I am hoping that this request for new medicals is standard procedure and that they already have our documents...

Kay is going to double check on the medicals...She thought they would have immediately been sent to Bulgaria a month ago...If not, I am hoping we don't have a court date before the new documents arrive. Now that is a switch; I'm hoping NOT to have a court date in the next week. Hmmmm

9 Weeks and Still Waiting

On September 5th we were told that it would take 5 days to get the MOJ signature and 20-30 days to get a court date...Today is 35 days and we have heard nothing. I called Kay, the International Program Director at TOL, last night because we really wanted reassurance that there is not a problem. She said that there are two other families besides us who got caught in the vacation/election/government switch, and she already sent an email to Bulgaria yesterday to try to get an update. Somehow it is comforting just to know that we aren't alone. I'm sorry others are waiting, but at least I know that our paperwork isn't lost at the bottom of a stack somewhere. Kay is hoping that we already are scheduled for a court date, and that the Bulgarian agency had just neglected to notify us. Apparently, she didn't hear anything because she didn't call today, and she promised to let us know as soon as she got a response.

She did tell me that the laws have changed and on the day of court, Grace will be officially ours. The 7 day waiting period for protest has been eliminated. After court the Bulgarian agency, Vesta, will be able to predict fairly accurately how long it will take to get the new birth certificate, passport, and embassy appointment, so we should have about 4 weeks notice prior to travel. Kay said that she hopes it will only be 4 weeks instead of the 6 to 8 weeks after our court date before we can travel to pick her up. She is still hopeful that we will have her home this year. Sometimes Kay gives unrealistically positive time lines, so I really expect that it may be 2 more months of waiting...but less would be better.

Getting (More) Restless

Since we hadn't heard from Tree of Life concerning our documents or a court date since September 16th, we sent an email to Daniel yesterday to see if he had received copies of the corrected documents (the ones with our name misspelled) and to get an update. We got an email back with one corrected document from Bulgaria attached, the "Certificate 17 Ministry". Our name IS correct. Daniel also said he was going to contact the attorney in Bulgaria (Milena) and that he would let us know when he hears something. It would be great to hear good news tomorrow for Mark's Birthday. Yes, I'm praying for birthday news...Daddy would like that, too.

We also got news from Kay at TOL today explaining several changes in procedure. The Bulgarian Ministry of Justice has begun allowing the documents of waiting children to be sent to multiple agencies at the same time. Although this sounds like good news for the children, it really changes the adoption process in negative ways. Now, more than one family from different agencies could request the same child and the Ministry of Justice would then have to make a determination. It also means that parents will be under time pressure to make a decision and may not feel free to research the child's medical needs. Can you imagine deciding to adopt a child, completing all of the documentation, mailing it to Bulgaria, and having the MOJ tell you that someone else chose the same child. It also means that many prospective adoptive parents are starting to "shop" for children through multiple Bulgarian agencies without having their dossiers completed and without actually checking on the integrity of the agency who would handle their adoption. Sometimes agencies are presenting a less than honest profile of the special needs of the children to encourage "business" which could result in children being placed with families who are unprepared for their physical and emotional needs.

I am really proud of Tree of Life for deciding not to participate in these questionable practices. They have decided to restrict the information that they will release from the children's files only to their own clients who they know have researched their agency, spoken with previous clients, and understand the adoption requirements and timelines. Tree of Life is one of the most respected agencies in Bulgaria because they continued working in the country during the 5 year slowdown (and the others stopped doing charitable work and adoptions), so they are hoping that their response to this policy will encourage the Ministry of Justice to change it. In addition, the Tree of Life attorney has been invited to attend the next meeting of the International Adoption Council, where I am sure this controversial policy will be discussed.

I am so glad that we don't have to worry about these changes...Our paperwork has already completed these initial stages and the MOJ has already approved our adoption proposal. Whew!

Novinite News

Since I can't get any direct news about Grace, I settle everyday for indirect information about the country of Bulgaria. In addition to following a couple of blogs from other adoptive parents and checking the daily weather forecast, I read, well actually, I skim the headlines and read a few articles here and there from the digital version of the Sofia Morning News. Over the past few months, here are summaries of a few of the most memorable (but not very positive) news stories:

Bulgaria Police Warn Parents of Sofia Syringe Stabber: This man was injecting children with an unidentified liquid in a syringe. To date they have a composite sketch of the man, but have made no arrests.
Eleven Patients Infected with Hepatitis C in Bulgarian Hospital: Reuse of syringes was blamed for the epidemic.
Bulgaria Second in Europe Smoking Research: 46% of Bulgarian men and 32% of Bulgarian women smoke. Of course the newest article tells about the increased tobacco tax that was passed this month.

Bulgaria Investigates Consecutive Draws with Same Lottery Numbers: Lottery officials drew the exact same lottery numbers two days in a row, and decided that there was no evidence of corruption. Which is interesting considering the next article...

Bulgaria Most Corrupt in Central, SE Europe - TI Report: The Global Corruption Report of 2009 found that 54% of business owners said that corruption occurs often or always in Bulgaria, and one-third said that corruption had a negative impact on their businesses.

Another Election, Another Government in Bulgaria: The GERB Party (Citizens for European Development of Bulgaria) won the election which was the 7th parliamentary election since 1989-90 when Bulgaria moved away from having single party communist rule. Bulgaria's GERB party is newly developed since the last election, which shows how volatile the government is at this point. This election has caused increased uncertainty about adoptions in Bulgaria.

Health Minister Reports First Swine Flu Death in Bulgaria: 72 cases of swine flu have been reported in Bulgaria.

Light Quake Shakes Southwest Bulgaria: A small quake of 2.7 on the Richter Scale occurred 100 kilometers from Sofia but most citizens did not notice it.

Bulgaria Plans to Adopt Euro by 2013: Bulgaria still uses the lev.
Bulgaria with Worst Healthcare System in Europe: Bulgaria lacks patient protection, access to new innovations, and medicines as well as having the lowest patient outcome rating of 33 European nations.

15 Bulgarians Dead as Boat Sinks in Macedonia Lake: This tragedy in Ohrid caused Bulgaria to cancel all Unification Day celebrations across the nation. Unification Day is a celebration of the treaty between Bulgaria and the Ottomans in 1885.

Bulgaria Bishop: God's Wrath over Madonna Concert Caused Ohrid Tragedy: The Bulgarian Bishop said that God had punished Bulgarians for too much celebrating and partying at the Madonna concert in Sofia by causing the Ohrid Tragedy described  in the above article.

Bulgaria Fire Dancing Gets UNESCO Protected Cultural Status: On our last day in Bulgaria, Mark and I saw traditional Bulgarian dancers and watched a man dance on fire and eat hot coals. This man actually danced across the pit of coals several times...

New Vice Minister of Justice

Mark had to work over today, even though he traded his scheduled overtime to someone else, so we had to rush around to get to Lifebuilders tonight. We didn't even have time to check email before we left. So we were really excited to see a message in our inbox from Kay. Basically the email said that Milena, the attorney from Vesta, had met with the new Vice Minister of Justice who is in charge of adoptions. She felt that this director is even more adoption-friendly than the last, that the new council members have been chosen and that the first meeting of the International Adoption Council (IAC) should be meeting next week. The best news is that Milena has been invited to attend the meeting. Basically, this means that the new governmental officials should cooperate to get our adoption completed.

Every day we race home to check email...Maybe we will get notification of our court date. So even though it wasn't the news we were hoping for, we were glad to hear something. Mark joked around during small group that he might have to live in an apartment for a while if we don't have a court date by our next small group meeting on October 20...Yes, I have been a little irritable during the past couple of weeks. Between the stress of parent/teacher conferences and this waiting...I've been a "tiny bit" grouchy. I might just have to go to Bulgaria, call the MOJ meeting to order, put my hand on the stamper, and help them approve our documents...Deep breath, more praying, deep breath, sigh...It isn't the waiting as much as not knowing what is going on that I find so annoying.

Getting Ready...to Wait

Over the weekend, we traveled to Oxford, Mississippi to watch Blaise run, but the meet was cancelled because of rain. Blaise was so disappointed because this would have been the first time since high school that Adam and Vince would have been able to see him run cross country and probably the last time since this is his last season. Adam arranged to be off work and Vince drove home from Marion, Indiana and met us in Effingham. We made the best of it, though. Blaise joined us since this is his fall break, so we ate at Lambert's Cafe in Sikeston and even stopped in Cairo to see the confluence of the rivers on our way home. It seemed like a mini family vacation. All of the boys were talking and laughing and trying to decide which superpower would be the best one to have. They even sang their own rendition of "Father Abraham" (complete with motions) for inclusion in the family video I am making for Gracie to see when we pick her up. It is hilarious. On our way home we stopped in Effingham to say good-bye, since Blaise and Adam are going to spend the next few days with Vince. I'm sure they are having a ball right now in Indiana.

We also marked another "must have" off our list on the way home. We found a backpack for Gracie! We want to give her something to carry her special things in when we go to the Visa interview and on the flight home. We thought it might make her feel safer. This backpack is a padded bear that is soft enough to use as a pillow, but can hold a book, crayons, pretzels, some little Polly Pocket dolls (Melanie told me these were essential toys for a 4 year old girl.), a sticker book, comb, chap stick, and any other "important" things she might want.

I also just ordered her a pair of slippers that look like a lamb and a little dress from L.L. Bean. Somehow buying a few things for her makes me feel like I am doing something to speed up the process. We are still waiting to hear that we have a court date. In the meantime, check out this cute backpack...

Waiting for a Court Date

On September 16, we got an email from Kay at Tree of Life saying that the Bulgarian agency asked about our dossier and that they are waiting for the signature and consent of the Minister of Justice in Bulgaria. After it is signed, our dossier will be sent to court. After our court date is set, we will be able to officially start the countdown. Seven days after court, if all of the documents are in order, the Bulgarian governments approval of our adoption will be final. Usually it takes 6-8 weeks after the court date to complete the remainder of the paperwork (get a new birth certificate, set up an embassy interview, arrange travel) and travel to bring her home. The way I understand it, since we are under the I-600 petition with the Department of Homeland Security, we will apply for Gracie's visa after her embassy interview. Then we will wait in Bulgaria while the visa and passport are processed. That is why our second trip will probably last 7-10 days.

The past few weeks have been busy, which helps the time to pass more quickly. This week, midterms were due as well as benchmark exam results, parent-teacher conferences have started, Mark is still working a couple of twelve hour days every week and one day each weekend, my class goes on a field trip this week, I am observed and evaluated by Mr. T. this week, and we have been trying to catch up on the yard work and getting Gracie's room set up. Our garden is also overflowing with tomatoes and I have been canning apple sauce and salsa. I won't have to worry about being bored...

On Friday night, we went to the premier of The Informant!, a dark comedy that was filmed in Decatur about ADM's price-fixing scandal complements of Donna, my coworker. We had a great time looking for all of the Decatur locations and spending time with the other teachers from school and their spouses. After the movie we all went to the Bizzou, a restaurant downtown for supper, too. It was so nice getting together with the teachers outside of school.

I find myself frequently wondering what time it is in Bulgaria and imagining what Gracie might be doing. During church today, she would have been eating supper...I really don't think that anyone is talking to her about her new family or the adoption. The concept of family has to be foreign to her. I wonder also if her best friend, Emanwewe, has been adopted yet. Usually domestic adoptions are expedited, so Grace may have watched her best friend leave the orphanage with her parents and not return. Maybe this will help her to be prepared. I do hope that she is healthy and doesn't think that we have abandoned her. God, please prepare her heart for joining our family and help us to get a court date soon.

Shopping

Shopping has never been my favorite pasttime, but I enjoyed looking at girlie things this weekend. We took the tape measure on our shopping trip and what we realized is that Gracie is going to be really hard to fit...definitely she will need slims. Now I understand why some of her dresses were so short during our visit. We don't know how up-to-date her weight report was, but 23 pounds isn't very much for a 4 1/2 year old. According to the weight on the size charts, she should be a 2T, but her waist to floor measurement of 19 inches means that most 2T long pants will be capris! We also measured the waists on the 2T and 3T pants and most of them were about 20 inches. When I measured her waist on our visit, it was 18 1/2 inches. Either I will be adding elastic to the waists of everything, she will need a belt (which we bought today), or she will be wearing a lot of dresses and tights.

Buying just a few things really increased my anticipation. I can't wait to bring Gracie home. Since Mark has been working so many weekends, we made a list of things to do before she gets here and are trying to make sure that we have everything ready in time. I guess we are "nesting." On his last weekend off, we cleaned the garage and "dejunked" so we have more room for storage; this weekend we shopped for a mattress, headboard, dresses (for picking her up and the embassy appointment), and shoes. I took the little paper cut-outs of her footprint for shoe shopping and she will need either a size 7 or 8!  She has long skinny feet like her daddy.

It is good that we started looking early, because we didn't buy anything except some little cotton tank tops, a set of three tiny little belts (that Mark will have to shorten), and one pair of pajamas. We did choose a mattress to buy that we will order next week, but there were just too many cute little dresses that we couldn't decide on any of them. I also went through all of the donated clothes and organized them by size so I know what we will need, sort of. Hmmmm...it has been a long time since I have had a toddler around. What will we need to take with us for 8 days in Bulgaria with a 4-year-old? We may have to take her shopping and check an extra bag for the return trip. I wonder what she would think of the mall...