Disney Village

No trip to Florida is complete without a little shopping, so we headed to Disney Village. Finally we found a Minnie Mouse hat in the infant section that was small enough to stay on Gracie's head, a Christmas stocking for Grace, and a Christmas ornament (our usual vacation souvenir). While we were standing in line to pay for them a little dark-haired girl holding a Mickey Mouse balloon and her mother walked up to us. The mother said that the little girl had enjoyed her balloon for several days and was headed to the airport in a few minutes. They had decided to give the balloon to another little girl to enjoy and had thought Gracie might like it. Gracie's eyes lit up when she saw the pink Mickey Mouse ears and she hugged the little girl and told her, "Thank you very much." Little did that girl know how much her generosity touched Grace. She danced, ran, skipped, and played with that balloon all evening. She wouldn't let anyone else hold the Mickey Mouse shaped weights or the balloon and told us the little girl gave it to her. She even said "Good night" to the balloon and worried about whether it would still be here tomorrow.

Whales, Penguins, and Rain

Mark can officially say that he has been to Florida now, one of only a few states he hadn't visited before. Everything in our hotel feels damp, including the carpet and the beds, and these little "love bugs" are everywhere. Apparently they are annoying for only a few weeks every year, which must be now. So, it only made sense to make our first destination SeaWorld. This was a great choice.

We got a stroller, but she wasn't too fond of it, so we used it a lot for storage during the day. The highlights were seeing the penguins during their daylight hours, the Shamu show, playing under the misters, the pearl diver, and the manatees. We weren't sure how Grace would react to being wet, so we sat right behind the splash zone in the show. Big mistake. She wanted to go down and stand in the front so the water would "get me all wet," and was very disappointed she missed out. We kept diverting her attention from the slides and sandbox all day while we rode the rides and saw the exhibits, promising that we would go back at the end of the day.

Grace has no fear of getting separated from us. In fact, once she wandered away, turned looked around and didn't see us because of the sun. She did turn around and looked to see where we were, but she didn't seem too concerned. We, on the other hand, were fighting her much of the day to either hold our hands, walk between us, or ride in the stroller. She found out that she can "sedni" by the wall in the manta ray exhibit, on the curb, and even right outside the restroom. By the way, I was surprised to note that the bathrooms are all different, well, at least the 9, or was it 10, that we visited during the day. I should have listed bathrooms as one of the highlights since we stopped at every one that we passed...

When the dark clouds started rolling in, most people scurried toward the gate to go home, but we had a promise to keep--the sand and slides. Besides, the park was supposed to be open for another hour. When we got to the kids area at the back of the park, the slides were roped off but Grace didn't care. That white sand kept her busy until all of the trash cans around us had been emptied and the sinister clouds were right overhead. Then we headed toward the gate, feeling proud that we had gotten our money's worth. We just hadn't thought through the fact that to get to the gate, we had to walk across the boardwalk that cuts through the lake. As the winds picked up and the rain pelted us I picked up Grace and splashed along. (Does that count as my aerobic exercise for the day?). We felt so much better when we met up with two other drenched families who must have had the same thought. When you pay $80 per person to get into an attraction, you want to squeeze out every penny...

Surprise Flight to Georgia

Shhhhh....the secret flight to Georgia wasn't even announced to brothers until yesterday so that it would truly be a surprise. Gracie loved this flight since she actually knew she was on an airplane, it was daytime, and she got to look out the window. Still she wasn't very impressed.

After we disembarked, we took the train to the shuttle which took us to our hotel, rested a while, and headed to the track meet. Careful planning kept us using cheap public transportation to get around Atlanta. We hadn't really thought about the safety of riding on the MARTA late at night, until someone at the meet mention it, and it was probably better that we didn't ponder the thought too long. The most disturbing part was actually the mice that were running under the concrete benches in the terminal, right under the unsuspecting folks dozing on the bench, especially after we realized that we were sitting on a similar bench. Oooo, the thought made me stand up and walk around.

Blaise was really excited to see Grace walk over to where he was sitting on the bleachers. I wish I could have captured the look on his face with my camera. Later he even told us with watery eyes that it was the nicest surprise he had ever had. Everything was going great until it started to sprinkle right before his race and then it poured during the last mile. With our umbrella safely packed in our suitcase in the hotel, we threw our coats over our heads, Mark videotaped the steeplechase with Gracie's jean jacket thrown over the top to try to keep it somewhat dry, and generally we were soaked by the time the race was over.

As Murphy's Law would suggest, it stopped raining as soon as Blaise's race was finished, but he got lost in Atlanta on his cool down and all of us were waiting not-so-patiently for him to show up. We thought he was really disappointed in his Personal Record that didn't quite qualify him for regionals, but apparently, that wasn't it at all. He just took a wrong turn.  

Help on Handedness

How do you determine which hand is dominant for a child? We are really struggling with this since we would like to encourage writing with just one hand. Grace sucks both thumbs interchangeably, she usually eats with her spoon in her right hand, but she picks up finger food with either. She always kicks with her left foot, cuts with her right (because we have righty scissors) and would put crayons in the right hand to color on the right page and the left to color on the left page. Yesterday when she was "helping" Mark put the fence around the garden, she switched the hammer from her left to her right seamlessly. If she doesn't have a preference, I would really like for her to be right-handed because so many things in our world are set up for the majority who have a dominant right hand, but if she is a lefty, I don't want to confuse her either. If you have any resources or experiences to help me out on this one, please leave a comment...I'd like your input.

Don't Leave Me!

Confidence is one of the first attributes people notice about Grace. She wants to talk to everyone, says "No, I do it," and wants to strut around independently. She seems so very self-assured and spunky when she asks "What name it is?" to strangers, but that is all part of gaining approval and attention. Gradually, though, that is changing and she is revealing some of her insecurities. Recently she has been asking for assurance that we will be there for her. She doesn't really ask questions, she makes statements with a questioning tone, such as, "Mommy and Daddy no leave Gracie?"  or "Mommy will pick me up?" School has brought even more questions, and I wonder if she is worried that school is like an orphanage. She asks us if we are going to school with her. She says, "No go to school at night," or "I come home to play with Daddy when no working." She even has been wanting me to lay down with her at bedtime again. Last night she snuggled up next to me as I was laying in her bed and pressed her face as tight as she could into mine. She looked at me and saw how I was laying with my arm under my head and imitated it exactly. Then she took my hand, placed it onto her hair, and said, "Mommy rub my hair? Tomorrow Mommy wake me up? Mommy, as te obichem Gracie?" She loves to hear me say that I will always love her, and I will always be there to take care of her.

She also tells us about mechkas (bears) and Tigers that live in the dark. She wants us to tell her over and over that there are no mechkas in the house, or go with her to be sure she is safe when the light is off in a room. We have shown her how the baby monitor works and she has finally started to call for me if she wakes up on her own. She still won't usually get out of bed on her own, but she will yell, "Mommy!" and always comments when I hurry to her room. "I say Mommy. Mommy hear me and come for Gracie." She is learning that she can count on me in little ways to meet her needs. My arrival always makes her smile.

Tonight she wanted to pretend she was a baby, so we played along. We dressed her, snuggled her like a baby, and responded to her whiny baby cries. This lasted about 15 minutes, and she seemed comforted by all of the attention. When it was time for bed, she tired of the game and wanted to return to her normal routine of teeth brushing, books, prayers, and rocking. As she sat on my lap in the rocking chair, she put her thumb in her mouth and hooked her little finger inside the neck of my shirt as she often does. After a few minutes she said, "Okay, all done rocking," and was ready to go to bed by herself.

I'm glad we spent a couple of hours yesterday visiting Little People's Prep School because it gave her another taste of school expectations for next year. Gracie had so much fun that she didn't want to come home. She sang songs, played number BINGO, had a snack (which she didn't eat), and played outside on the playground. The children were all attentive and sweet to make her feel welcome, and one little girl asked why she couldn't come back tomorrow. All of the kids hugged her when it was time to leave, and I told her that the teacher said that she was a good girl at school and could come to school again later. She wanted to go back today. Since we signed her up for the summer pre-K program in Mt. Zion, she only has to wait a few more weeks before she will get to "play with the kids." That is her entire description of school, "I get to play with the kids!" Apparently, she isn't too worried about being left at school, since she can't wait to go back.

Back up and Running

Thank you for being patient with having my blog on "hold." If you are reading this, then all I ask is that you read and enjoy without reposting or sharing outside of your family. There are probably other prospective parents waiting to adopt from Bulgaria who would be encouraged by reading about our journey and friends who I have not thought to invite, so please have those friends send me an email. Then I can decide whether to invite them into our "family." Thank you so much. I have two weeks of news to post, so check back in the next couple of days for more friends, graduation, and updates.

Baby Dedication

It has been a busy weekend with baccalaureate on Friday, graduation Saturday, and the baby dedication ceremony at church on Sunday! Our church only has this ceremony a couple times a year, so we didn't want to delay it until next time. Grace was so excited to be on stage Sunday and she wanted to sing like Daddy. She got really tickled when she noticed herself on the big screen by the stage and started pointing and saying in her big voice, "Look, it's Gracie!" and waving at herself. She loved carrying around the white Bible that was "Gracie's. Not Mommy's!" and she wanted us to read it to her at bedtime, so I turned the pages and gave her the Reader's Digest condensed book version:

God made the world, the trees, the sky, the animals, and all the people. Then God sent Jesus to Earth to save us because people did bad things. Jesus died on the cross and went to heaven. One of these days, Jesus will come back and take all of us to heaven to live with him because heaven is a wonderful place where no one cries or is ever hurt or sad. Her response was, "I love Jesus. I want to go see it. I go tomorrow."

Monday morning the first thing she said to me was, "We go to heaven today. See Jesus. Okay?" Children have amazing faith.

Mother's Day 2010

After church, Mark and Grace gave me gifts before we headed to Mason City to see my parents and Grandmother. It was purely coincidental that the denim jumper Grace was wearing and the fountain-like hairdo resembled the Precious Moments figurine Grace gave me which is called I Love You This Much. Just as I have done with all of my children, we play an "I love you" game where I ask them, "Do I love you this much?" and hold up my fingers an inch apart. "This much?" and increase the space, and finally "This much!" and throw my arms out wide. Grace loves to do this for Daddy and me, too, so the little figurine with her arms thrown wide open was a perfect gift. You can tell from the pictures that Grace liked showing me what the little porcelain doll was saying, too.

Mark gave me a gold, family necklace. He said that he looked and looked and finally found the setting he wanted in a supply catalog at the jeweler's, ordered the setting, and drew out how he wanted the stones placed. It is one-of-a-kind with a heart at the top and all of our birthstones in a swirl beneath. I have the most thoughtful husband in the world!

Then we headed to my parent's house with a bucket of Kentucky Fried Chicken that we picked up in Lincoln. Between the chicken and mom's dessert we had a great lunch.

Grandma Wharram gets really disoriented and can only handle short excursions anymore. Ice cream at the Dairy Belle was fun until Grandma started wanting to walk home to the house down the street where she used to live. She started asking about Pawpaw and was noticeable upset when she found out he had been gone 20 years. I thought she was going to cry when she asked, "What happened to all of my things? Why didn't anybody tell me? Who got the money for the house? This is the first I have heard of it." Mom told her that she had just forgotten about how Grandma attended the sale, but her frustration just increased, so I tried my "change the focus with a toddler" routine on Grandma.

I told Grandma that we missed Pawpaw, too, and that all of her treasures were safe with us. I explained how she used to cook bacon and eggs for the boys when they would stay at her house, and how they remembered eating on her blue and white china with the little houses on them. I told her how Adam bought the china at the sale, and how excited he was to get it out of the attic to take to his new apartment. I told her that he thinks of her every time he eats on those plates. When we drove her back to the nursing home, and passed the house, she looked longingly at the home where she had lived for so much of her life.

Sometimes I think it is a good thing that we don't remember everything as we grow older because by the time we got back to the nursing home, she seemed to have forgotten the whole conversation. 

Do They Celebrate Mother's Day in Bulgaria?

When I look at Grace, I sometimes wonder what her birth mom is like. Does Gracie look like her? Is she spunky and talkative, too? Does she wonder about the premature little girl who had such a bleak future? But today, on Mother's Day, my heart broke for this woman who I have never met and yet has blessed me beyond her imagination. I cried through the entire sermon.

The two scripture verses in church service today made me think about the weight of the decision to give Grace up for adoption. What must it have been like to give birth 14 weeks early, to a tiny 12-inch long, 1.65-pound underdeveloped child who was hooked up to machines and tubes, and to know that this little girl would need medical care that you could not provide. How heartbreaking. This mother who experienced labor and delivery, had to have loved her child or she would not have attempted to go to the hospital in the first place. Surely she has strong maternal instincts since she nurtures 4 older siblings. What must it have been like in the following weeks after Grace's birth? Did she cry as her body returned to normal? Did she mourn? Did her arms ache for the child she didn't get to hold? Was she pressured by family or hospital workers to make this decision? What did she say to Grace's siblings when she came home without her little girl? Does she think about Grace, or does she avoid those thoughts completely?

The Bible suggests to me that it is impossible for Grace's birth mom not to have cared for her, and I believe the gentle, loving spirit that I see in Grace is the same love her mother showed when she gave Grace the best chance she could at a future. She gave her "whole baby" into our arms where she could get the care and love she needed, instead of risking harm to her. She loved her enough to give her to us just as the woman in the Bible who was willing to give up her baby to keep him safe.

The real mother of the living baby was overcome with emotion for her son and said, "Oh no, master! Give her the whole baby alive; don't kill him!" But the other one said, "If I can't have him, you can't have him--cut away!" 1 Kings 3:26 msg

Can a mother forget her nursing child? Can she feel no love for a child she has borne? But even if that were possible, I would not forget you! Isaiah 49:15 nlt

I hope that someday, especially with the advances in technology, Grace can meet her birth mom and siblings with a thankful heart. Just as Joseph saw God's hand in his life, bringing him through enslavement and imprisonment to eventually save his family and a nation from starvation, I hope that Grace will understand her adoption as a part of God's divine plan for her life and ours. And today, even though it isn't Mother's Day in Bulgaria, I am sending an extra prayer to a special woman who gave birth to a beautiful little girl, our Gracie. I pray that God will comfort her mother's heart and fill her life with blessings.

Vince, the College Graduate

How can Vince be graduating? He was going to preschool with his pink and purple backpack just yesterday and passing out on the floor when he bumped his knee...I have been amazed at how much he has matured and changed since he has been away from home these last 4 years. Is it the guidance he got at Indiana Wesleyan, required self-reliance because he has been far away, the spiritual lessons he learned from his pastor/mentor Steve DeNeff, or is it just that I see him as an adult instead of just my child now? I'm not sure, but I know that he is someone whom I feel blessed to know. I value his opinion and respect his character. Today is definitely a milestone in his life.

Even though we were told that Grace would have to have a ticket to get into graduation, the door monitor told us that if she sat on our laps, she didn't need a ticket. This allowed both Grandma and Grandpa Swaar to see another one of their grandsons walk across the stage at graduation in addition to attending baccalaureate.

I really liked baccalaureate better than graduation because Steve DeNeff spoke about his two hopes for the graduates: That they don't ever get a job and never follow their dreams for success...Obviously the message was wonderful or I wouldn't still remember it. Steve even told Vince after the graduation ceremony that he was one of the graduates who was doing what God had called him to do by teaching children ages 0-3 and making a difference in our world. He will have a great reward awaiting him in Heaven. I know that he will be great in the Early Head Start program because he has such a generous heart.

Picture time is always a little awkward when you have divorced parents who have poor communication, but everyone from both families was cordial and cooperative at the event. I know that meant a lot to Vince, too since the boys tend to worry about keeping people happy all the time. Grandma kept Grace busy counting bushes and looking for flowers while everyone was congratulating Vince and taking pictures. It was nice not to have to load up all of Vince's things before we left because he is staying for another month to finish his Theology minor and he is left with the chore of bringing 4 years accumulation home in his car... Jacob is hosting him at his home a few blocks from campus which saved Vince hundreds of dollars in room and board, too. When he gets home, he will move into an apartment with Adam, so he is officially emancipated. The house is going to seem very quiet this summer, even with Grace talking constantly and Blaise stopping by for meals. I will miss the trash talking during Super Mario Brothers' video game challenges, serious dinner conversations about politics and religion, and even the locker room smell...NO! I won't miss that at all.

Check out the beautiful dorm room couch!

Kisses in the Wind

I wish I had written this poem, because it expresses so clearly how I felt during the time when we were searching for you and waiting to bring you home. Here is a little lullaby just for you, Grace...

KISSES IN THE WIND (The Waiting Child's Lullabye)


I hold you in my heart and touch you in my dreams.
You are here each day with me, at least that's how it seems.


I know you wonder where we are... what's taking us so long.
But remember child, I love you so and God will keep you strong.


Now go outside and feel the breeze and let it touch your skin...
Because tonight, just as always, I blow you kisses in the wind.


May God hold you in His hand until I can be with you.
I promise you, my darling, I'm doing all that I can do.


Very soon, you'll have a family for real, not just pretend.
But for tonight, just as always, I blow you kisses in the wind.


May God wrap you in His arms and hold you very tight.
And let the angels bring the kisses that I send to you each night.

© Pamela Durkota, written for Josh

My New Friend, Lucas

If Lucas and Grace were 16, Donna and I would both be requiring chaperones anytime they were together...For Grace, she was so excited to see Lucas (who just turned 4), that she tried to hug him and hold his hand the minute that he got out of their van. I think Lucas was a little surprised and not too sure what to think of her, but it didn't take long before he asked Grace to sit next to him on the bench to watch the monkeys, and they were holding hands as they walked around the zoo. It was so adorable.

When we first headed to the playground, Grace wanted to swing (her favorite part of the playground) and Lucas wanted to climb, but eventually the two were chasing each other up the steps, over the platform and down the tube slide. Grace was so tickled at how Lucas was going down the slide backwards and sideways that she layed right down on the ground to reinact it. Then she sat between Donna and I as she tried to pretend to be a grown up, but that only lasted a few seconds. Lucas really wanted to play with Grace and when she headed back to the swings, he saved a climber for her and stood there yelling her name until she finally came back to play. Then later, Lucas (Grace called him Luka) noticed when the two swings were open and saved one just for Grace since she liked them so much. Ahhhh, what a sweetie! It was so nice to talk to Donna, too.  I am glad that I took this time off, but I really miss spending time with adults....

It was time to go home after a couple of hours, and it was obvious that neither of the kids wanted to go. Lucas sat on one of the "rock" benches and pouted. Grace walked over to tell him, "It's okay," and put her hands on his face to comfort him while he just pouted a little more because he seemed to like her sympathy. When Grace bent over, looked right at his face, and  kissed him on the lips, though, Lucas's eyes got really big. It was really funny watching them today, but I think Donna will need to take Lucas home and warn him about agressive girls like Grace, and we are going to have to figure out how to curb her "friendliness" before she turns 16! As Gracie would say, "Oh my goodness!"

Adam is My Brother!

I, well "we" is probably more accurate, babysat for Billy Rockey's children, Eli and Jillian, today. From the moment they arrived, Grace was fascinated with Eli, who is 7 months old, and frequently competed with Jillian. It was hysterical watching Gracie and Jillian argue over which color paint each would use, who would sit at the little table, which person would flush the toilet, and which books to read first. But, the best argument of all was over Eli. Gracie decided he was "mine" baby, and Jillian would have nothing to do with that. With great pride Jillian said over and over, "No, Eli is my brother!" Grace looked over at me and I told her the truth..."Eli is Jillian's brother, not Gracie's. Adam is your brother." Then the argument went something like this...

Gracie: Adam is mine brother!
Jillian: Eli is my brother!
Gracie: Adam is not your brother. Mine!"
Jillian: Eli is my brother! Eli is my brother!

After hearing this off and on for about 30 minutes and distracting the girls with snacks and a Curious George episode, Adam walked in the front door and Grace started jumping up and down and following him down the hallway saying, "Adam is mine brother. Adam, pick me up. No your brother. Mine." Of course, Adam was completely unaware of his increased value to Grace at that moment, and Jillian went immediately to claim Eli with a hug. I didn't hear the brother argument the rest of the day.

Grace begged to help with Eli all day, and I kept wondering if this was what she saw the grown-ups doing in the orphanage. She wanted to hold him, give him toys, report on when he needed to blow his nose, and even climbed into her big bed alone for her nap so that I could rock the baby when he was fussy right before his nap. When we changed his diaper, she brought me the wipes and powder, too, and wanted to fasten the tabs on the diapers. I was worried that it would bother her to see me holding a baby, but it didn't phase her at all.

 
Watching other children really helps me to get a handle on Grace's development. I noticed today that Jillian is much more independent with the bathroom than Grace, but when asked to share, Grace really had an easier time with this than Jillian. If I asked her to share, she would do it without too much fuss. Of course, Grace is two years older and was used to sharing everything in the orphanage. Jillian wanted to paint with every color in the box and use every paintbrush. Grace chose her 3 favorite colors, used them one at a time, and washed her brush in between each color. She hates messes. Grace let Jillian paint at the table while she painted on the floor, with no complaints except when Jillian walked through the middle of her painting accidentally. The girls shared the puzzles, Play-Doh, beachball, crayons, legos, tricycle, beads to string, Nuudles for paper plate pictures, and dolls. Usually, they wanted to stay with a task for about the same length of time, but Jillian finished both Nuudle pictures because Grace didn't like having sticky fingers and lost interest. Jillian also was much more attentive to the Curious George movie, since Grace really doesn't care for TV much at all. Most of the time they played and had great fun, but both of the girls wanted to boss the other around once in a while, and it was obvious that they both wanted to get their own way. Hmmm...Is this a girl thing, or a developmental stage? Adam says Grace is just a typical girl. Can you hear the sarcasm in this comment?

Word of the Day: Diarrhea

I should have anticipated it after Grace went to sleep at 8:30 pm and slept until 10:00 a.m, complained that her tummy hurt, and had horrible gas last night. This was the first time that she has had an "aka" accident since we picked her up. Her bottom looks like it was burned with a hot iron, the pajamas and bed sheets all needed to be changed, and I have Febreezed the entire house today. As Gracie has been saying all day, "Oh my goodness. Gracie has diarrhea on her bottom!" Then she goes on to explain that she wants to tell Adam, Daddy, and everybody, and wants to pull down her pants to display the owies...We still haven't learned about modesty. We practiced last night and today on how to call for Mommy from her bedroom, but it is hard to break orphanage habits. When I first woke her up, I could really tell that she was worried about the mess and did not anticipate that someone would help her during the night. Her sad little face was just too heart-breaking. We will practice again and again with the hope that someday she will actually call for me from her room without expecting to get in trouble. It will be an exciting day when she finally embraces and understands that she can come to us for help anytime. We are here and anxious to help. Today might have actually been a chance to demonstrate that love in a practical way... Thank you God for loving us and helping us even when we don't call on you.

What an Interesting Day!

We started the morning by watching Vince start a 13 mile, mini marathon. Then we ate breakfast at the hotel and checked out. In typical form, Vince told us he hoped to finish in 1 hour and 44 minutes and came in at 1 hour and 32 minutes, exactly 2 minutes before we arrived to watch the finish. Way to go, Vince! Then after sandwiches at Subway we headed for Kay Montes' home while Grace slept for the entire trip trying to make up for the early wake up. Kay Montes has been so important in our adoption journey, has 3 children who were adopted from Bulgaria, and guided us through the entire adoption journey as the international coordinator for Tree of Life Adoption Agency. I was really nervous getting ready to meet her, but there was really no need because the entire family was sweet and welcoming.

Her husband Brad, Josiah, Mattea, Aleah, and Joel all met us at the car along with several of their large, white Pyrenees dogs. Of course, Gracie crawled up toward Mark's shoulders and we headed inside. The family had a virtual menagerie and Grace was able to touch the black bunnies, pet a couple of smaller dogs, and sit on a horse in between swinging and blowing bubbles with the other children. Their home is literally a petting zoo as my best estimation of the animal population is: 3 Pyrennes dogs, 4 dachshunds, 4 other dogs, 8 cats, 2 house bunnies, 6 horses, some goats, ducks, several breeds of chickens, and some peacocks. Josiah carried Grace around most of the time, changed her shoes, and helped her to feel like a little princess. Kay blessed us with a homemade guacamole and chili lunch, showed us her home office space, and even was persuaded to pose for a couple of pictures. I have to say that our visit was completely different than I had anticipated. Her children, even the teenagers, seemed excited to see us, and the children were thoroughly fascinated with Grace's appearance (not Roma as they had anticipated), extra shoes, and our van. Except for one tennis shoe that was chewed by their special needs dog, the day was a total success. My allergies were manageable because I spent a good part of the visit outdoors blowing bubbles and pushing Grace on one of the swings, but I was really ready to change clothes for the ride home, because I am not much of an animal-lover and cat hair really brings on the sneezing and wheezing. We finally left for home around 6:00 pm and Grace was so tired that she slept in the car seat.

Somehow the potted lilly and card don't seem like enough thank you for someone who has done so much for our family. I will be forever grateful to her for the time she spent helping us to decipher the medical reports, preparing the documents for our dossier, and encouraging us during the weeks of waiting. Her work truly impacts so many children and families around the US and she does all of it as a contract worker who I am sure is not being compensated adequately for her important role. May God richly bless her and and prepare an amazing reward in heaven for her time, influence, and generous heart.

Before the race... and the reinactment after missing the end of the race!

 
Joel, Josiah, Mattea, Aleah, and Gracie

Three Bulgarian beauties!

Thank you, Kay, for helping Mommy and Daddy find me!

Privacy Concern: Who should read this blog?

Important!!! Please read this post!!!

Dear friends,

In this age of Facebook, blogs, and open information sharing, I have struggled with how much information should actually be shared with people outside of my family and friends. Who should know about our struggles, who should have access to Grace's medical problems, who can be trusted to react with love when I share my feelings? Today those issues smacked me in the face...

While I was eating lunch, I started talking to the mother of a previous student, who became a friend of mine during the year when her child was in my class. I was thrilled to see her again and to introduce her to Grace, but  I became concerned when she told me that "one of my friends" had given her access to this blog by sharing an email and password. No, I do not know who it was who gave out that information, and I don't feel that this person would use the information inappropriately... As often happens, at first I was only slightly surprised to know that she was reading the blog, but as I left the restaurant, the situation continued gnawing at me...You see, I purposely made this blog private, by invitation, so that I could be completely open and honest with people whom I trust, maintain a record for Grace of her growth and progress, and still protect the privacy of both Grace and my family. In addition, I have freely shared her private medical history on the blog, which I do not wish to make open to the general public. Now, I really don't know what to do. Temporarily I have saved all previous posts from view in hopes that privacy issues will be corrected and I can return the blog to previous form in a couple of weeks...

I didn't really think about privacy much until today, because I thought the 38 people who have been given access to this blog, were the only ones reading it. Now I realize that this friend may have shared with others, and it is possible that uninvited guests may be reading about our family. True, many people feel comfortable sharing personal details via the Internet, and yes, I also occasionally post on Facebook (with the tightest privacy settings in place), but if you are my friend on Facebook you know that I am purposely more vague as the audience becomes larger and my trust circle evaporates.
If you were the sharer of your password, I don't need a confession, I only ask that you reset your login and password to reestablish the privacy I requested in the first place and to keep others from accessing the blog with your old password in the future. Then please think about how you handled the personal information with which you were entrusted. Some day, Grace and I will want to know that the history in this blog was a blessing to her, our family, and friends and that it was not shared indiscriminantly or in a way that could cause her any future embarrassment.

Thank you for honoring this request even if you don't agree with it, and feel free to send me an email if you know of someone who would like to read this blog in the future. That way, I can determine whether I want to share with them or not.

Thank you again and check back in a few weeks when privacy has hopefully been reestablished,
Gail Dunham

The Indianapolis Children's Museum

Grace liked the Indianapolis Children's Museum as much as the boys did years ago, except she definitely had different favorites than the boys...the Barbie Experience and Bob the Builder topped her list right below the public restroom! Grace was really fascinated by the big dinosaur that was "stuck and couldn't get out," the wheelbarrows she could push around in Bob the Builder, and combing the manequins' hair in the Barbie experience as well as the climbing activities, water, and sand which the boys also loved. In Bob the Builder, she even hammered a few nails into a block of wood, smashed her own finger, and made "tuk, tuk" sound effects. It was fun watching her interact with the other children who seemed very agressive and pushy for much of the day. Grace kept looking over at us when the children would push in front of her, and we tried to give encouragement and assistance only when she couldn't handle the situation on her own. Finally after several children pushed in line in front of her to climb into the tree house, I stepped up and said,  "Okay, Gracie, it is your turn now," because she was getting frustrated, but she climbed right into the "underground" tunnels and even came down an alternate slide that we didn't know was there and found us waiting around the other side. She became more comfortable with the other children and more assertive as the day progressed. She kept telling us, "No going home now," when we were heading to a different exhibit.

Grace has an amazing amount of confidence for only being here for a few months. She walked around all over and didn't seem concerned at all about getting lost, which is good and bad. We really wanted her to explore so we just followed her most of the day. She would look back for us if she couldn't see us, and she said, "Come here," quite often to show us what she found. One of her favorite attractions was the toddler-friendly bathroom. They had a toddler stall, toddler sink, soap dispenser, towel dispenser, mirror, etc. and Grace told everybody in the bathroom that it was hers. "Mine" is probably her favorite word right now.

When it was time to leave, she walked away from us and headed up the big yellow staircase. She wanted to stay and told us, "Go play, no go home." We had to threaten to make her "sedni" sit instead of using her favorite bathroom again before we left, and kept talking about how we were going to see Vince. She said, "Vince and Gracie play the guitara. Today. No tomorrow. Today...with Vince." This is her way of asking a question, so she looked at us and waited to see if we would agree. Finally she lwent to the bathroom and left when we told her that we would come back again if she was a really good girl. Of course, her response was, "Tomorrow!" and we had to tell her, "No...not tomorrow...later." Although she didn't like it, she left without a tantrum even though she had to have been exhausted from the day and made it clear that she was unhappy.

We met Vince at Fazoli's for his pre-race carb loading supper, and Grace loved trying to put her headband on Vince's head. Then he took us to his room to play his "guitara" and even let her use Jake's ukelele so they could play together. Vince is such a wonderful friend and advocate of Christian community that his dorm room has an extra bunk, and he has never used the option of a private room that RA's are allowed. He is going to be a great social worker or minister because he has such a heart for people. His gentle nature when he is with Grace is precious.

Vince headed to the library to gather supplies for a paper he needs to write, and we headed back early to the hotel so he could get a good night's sleep before his big race. This will be our last visit to IWU since Vince is graduating, but I am so happy he is moving back to the area. Adam has been looking for an apartment, so it looks like the two will be living together with another friend in a three bedroom townhouse near the Decatur airport. I think it will be hard for Blaise to head back in the fall since his brothers will both be staying here, and we haven't told Grace yet that she won't get to eat breakfast with Adam anymore...

 

 

 

 

 

 

I'm a momma dinosaur....Grrrrr..... 

The dinosaur is stuck!

 

 

Thank you, Jake, for letting me play your ukelele!