Pieces of the Puzzle

Grace has really enjoyed looking through the photo album from our trip to Bulgaria, and the pictures we took of her with her friend Emanwewe are her favorites. She tells about blowing bubbles with Emanwewe, Mommy, and Daddy in Bulgaria, and has started to make other comments about her "before" experiences. Today she told me, "Emanwewe said, bye, bye, Gracie. Gracie crying. Emanwewe all gone. Leelee pick up Gracie crying." She made a sad face and wiped a tear as it rolled down her cheek. I picked her up and asked her if Emanwewe was sad when she said goodbye, but Gracie told me, "Emanwewe no sad. Gracie sad." We talked for a while and I realized that this beautiful friend of hers was much more than just one of her orphanage buddies. Emanwewe was one of her caretakers. Grace told me that Emanwewe, who was 6 and obviously older than the other children, sat with her at her table for meals, helped her put on her pajamas, and took a bath with her. When I asked what they ate, she told me, "Hliab and chai" which is Bulgarian for bread and tea. She also went to the kitchen utensil drawer, took out a spoon and but it in my hand. Then she put her mouth on it like she was taking a bite. She said, "Emanwewe cut food. Help me eat." It is sometimes hard to figure out what she means but I gathered that the auntie, Leelee, who she frequently talks about helped her eat her meals after Emanwewe was adopted by a Bulgarian family.

We saw Emanwewe care for her some during our visit, but I had thought she was just a sweet natured little girl who felt sorry for tiny little Grace. One time Emanwewe grabbed her around the waist and put her up on a bench. Another time, she helped her get a tricycle to ride. Grace even showed us that the picture that we left with her was taped to the wall behind Emanwewe's bed, since Grace's bed was by the window curtains. Grace would have been able to see it when she layed down to sleep. Grace understands that Emanwewe has a mommy and daddy now, too, but she really wants to go see her and play in the sand. I so wish that we had met her adoptive family so that the girls could stay in touch. As an orphan, Grace really doesn't understand family relationships, so she thinks our names are Mommy and Daddy. I wonder if she thought she would get to see Emanwewe when we picked her up?

Grace loves to go around the house now to tell us what belongs to her. Ownership is a wonderful new concept she enjoys. She opens her closet and says, "Mine clothes, not Mommy and Daddy" and shakes her head. She does the same with her toybox, books, socks, shoes, and crayons. I asked her if she had crayons in Bulgaria and she told me, "No." I figured out that she watched Mickie Mouse and Tom and Jerry on TV, but she said she had a swing when I tried to talk about toys. She also told me that she had clothes, shoes, and a bed in Bulgaria. And she told me, "Gracie Emanwewe sharing bucket and shovel." I wonder if Grace was part of the reason that Emanwewe had not moved to the older orphanage for 4-7 year olds? Would the orphanage director pass along a letter to Emanwewe's parents for us? I would so love to be able to send photos back and forth over the years. Gracie told me several times today, "Go see Emanwewe, tomorrow." I wish that I hadn't had to try to explain that we couldn't go tomorrow, but maybe some day. Mark and I always thought we would take Grace to visit Bulgaria when she was around 10 years old, but I think it might be nice to go back sooner when there is more of a chance that some of her favorite caregivers may still be at the orphanage. I know she needs to be bonded with us and old enough to understand, but summer 2012 sounds good...now to convince Daddy...                   :-)

"Thank you for being my friend."