Don't Leave Me!

Confidence is one of the first attributes people notice about Grace. She wants to talk to everyone, says "No, I do it," and wants to strut around independently. She seems so very self-assured and spunky when she asks "What name it is?" to strangers, but that is all part of gaining approval and attention. Gradually, though, that is changing and she is revealing some of her insecurities. Recently she has been asking for assurance that we will be there for her. She doesn't really ask questions, she makes statements with a questioning tone, such as, "Mommy and Daddy no leave Gracie?"  or "Mommy will pick me up?" School has brought even more questions, and I wonder if she is worried that school is like an orphanage. She asks us if we are going to school with her. She says, "No go to school at night," or "I come home to play with Daddy when no working." She even has been wanting me to lay down with her at bedtime again. Last night she snuggled up next to me as I was laying in her bed and pressed her face as tight as she could into mine. She looked at me and saw how I was laying with my arm under my head and imitated it exactly. Then she took my hand, placed it onto her hair, and said, "Mommy rub my hair? Tomorrow Mommy wake me up? Mommy, as te obichem Gracie?" She loves to hear me say that I will always love her, and I will always be there to take care of her.

She also tells us about mechkas (bears) and Tigers that live in the dark. She wants us to tell her over and over that there are no mechkas in the house, or go with her to be sure she is safe when the light is off in a room. We have shown her how the baby monitor works and she has finally started to call for me if she wakes up on her own. She still won't usually get out of bed on her own, but she will yell, "Mommy!" and always comments when I hurry to her room. "I say Mommy. Mommy hear me and come for Gracie." She is learning that she can count on me in little ways to meet her needs. My arrival always makes her smile.

Tonight she wanted to pretend she was a baby, so we played along. We dressed her, snuggled her like a baby, and responded to her whiny baby cries. This lasted about 15 minutes, and she seemed comforted by all of the attention. When it was time for bed, she tired of the game and wanted to return to her normal routine of teeth brushing, books, prayers, and rocking. As she sat on my lap in the rocking chair, she put her thumb in her mouth and hooked her little finger inside the neck of my shirt as she often does. After a few minutes she said, "Okay, all done rocking," and was ready to go to bed by herself.

I'm glad we spent a couple of hours yesterday visiting Little People's Prep School because it gave her another taste of school expectations for next year. Gracie had so much fun that she didn't want to come home. She sang songs, played number BINGO, had a snack (which she didn't eat), and played outside on the playground. The children were all attentive and sweet to make her feel welcome, and one little girl asked why she couldn't come back tomorrow. All of the kids hugged her when it was time to leave, and I told her that the teacher said that she was a good girl at school and could come to school again later. She wanted to go back today. Since we signed her up for the summer pre-K program in Mt. Zion, she only has to wait a few more weeks before she will get to "play with the kids." That is her entire description of school, "I get to play with the kids!" Apparently, she isn't too worried about being left at school, since she can't wait to go back.